Round Up The Kids: It’s Another Bravo Reunion!

The season finale of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills airs tomorrow night, and while that looks to be a shit show in and of itself, the real fun will be had during the reunion next week, which promises to be more of the awkward, uncomfortable, insane drama we’ve come to expect from the Andy Cohen emceed event. Let’s face it: every season leads up to the reunion, and quite frankly, just when we think we’ve seen it all, they just get more ridiculous. Even D.C., which was believed to be the tamest and dullest of all Housewives, bowled over viewers with the craziness on display.

For what it’s worth, the Beverly Hills ladies look like they’ll be bringing the emotions: tears, screaming, accusations, more tears. More tears after that. And then maybe just a few more tears. Yes, it looks like everyone will be bawling at some point (excerpt, perhaps, Adrienne, who probably spends the entire time itching to attach another piece of tinsel in her hair). To say I’m excited is an understatement…

Meanwhile, if you want to hear gab about The Housewives, check out my videocast today at 12:30 PST (three hours from now!) here: http://www.ustream.tv/channel/comedy-talk-network1. Joining me in the studio will be my friend and fellow Housewives devotee, Sita. We’ll talk about Beverly Hills, Atlanta, and how I met Alex, Ramona, LuAnn, and Kelly last week. Tune in!

Paz De La Huerta Puts Audrina’s Mom To Shame; Flashes Paps

I don’t really know who Paz De La Huerta is, but apparently she’s on Boardwalk Empire, and last night, she was “over served” at the Golden Globes. How drunk was she? Well, in the video above, she falls on her ass, stumbles around, and often dangles from her escort like a sad, broken sail. In other words, she’s awesome.

Oh, and she flashed her ta-ta too. Check a censored version here.

REAL HOUSEWIVES PHOTOCAP: The Squeals On The Bus Go Round and Round

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Whoever contrived the idea of sticking Kim Zolciak and Kandi Burruss on a tour bus together is a genius. This goofy, silly, and highly improbably story line, which has now extended over two episodes, has been nothing but a hilarious trainwreck (which is ironic since they’re on a bus, I suppose). It all comes down to Kim, who has grown more impossibly spoiled and ridiculous in this third, amazing season of The Real Housewives of Atlanta. This frightful creature with the giant orbs of silicone on her chest and golden tresses of hair atop her head has become a force of nature, and I frequently alternate between loving and hating her for it. How can you not be repulsed by her diva behavior (which Kandi assured me once was absolutely NOT an act for the cameras)? But simultaneously, how can you not be utterly amused by the idiocy of chain smoking from singing gig to singing gig?

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REAL HOUSEWIVES OF BEVERLY HILLS PHOTOCAP: Smile Like You Mean It

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Sadness, people. We only have one episode left of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, the freshest, most entertaining new installment to the franchise since New York City. Not every episode has huge drama (exhibit A: last night), but there’s plenty of pathos and subtle passive aggression to keep us happy for months. This penultimate edition focused on two milestone events: the decline of Camille’s marriage and the college graduation of Kyle’s daughter. In the case of the former, we got to watch as Camille struggled to put on a happy face despite the misery that was only just starting to take over her life (if it hadn’t already been). This all brought up mixed emotions. On the one hand, it was hard to sympathize with Camille, who has proven herself to be an instigator, a manipulator, a narcissist, and a perpetual victim both on and off the show. On the other hand, I must admit that I did feel a liiiiittle bad for her. Divorce is not fun or pleasant, and truth be told, it really DOES suck for her. She may not be an ideal citizen, but Kelsey’s no great shakes either.

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New York City ‘Housewives’ Attempt To Out-Kooky Each Other

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Apparently beloved housewife Sonja Morgan held some sort of burlesque party, and the result were the above two images. They both beg a very important question: what’s more bizarre? Ramona and Mario’s pseudo Moulin Rouge ensemble or Jill Zarin’s teeny-tiny hat?

Your opinions please.

REAL HOUSEWIVES OF BEVERLY HILLS PHOTOCAP: Where Have All The Cowboys Gone?

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There wasn’t a lot of drama on the latest episode of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, but there certainly was poignancy, thanks to the sad, decrepit state of Taylor’s marriage to alleged cowboy Russell. These two barely seem to be connecting, and when she dragged her limp noodle of a husband to Kyle’s apparently awesome White Party, he sucked all the fun out of whatever corner they happened to be occupying (which admittedly was not a large corner, on account of Taylor’s twig-like frame). In the past I’ve used words such as “vapid” and “useless” to describe Tay-Tay, but I must admit that as the season develops, I’ve grown intrigued by her character. Her vapidity isn’t so much a representation of what she has to offer but rather a tragic defense mechanism she uses to cope with what is clearly a loveless marriage on the way outs (according to the editing, at least). Even the biggest hater of Lips McGee had to feel some sort of pain for her as she stood alone and morosely at the valet, waiting for a cab to take her back to Russell and his poison dog.

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Camille Grammer Talks About Her Future on The ‘Housewives’

The Camille Grammer publicity tour (for nothing in particular) continues! In the clip above, the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star sits down with Access Hollywood’s Shaun Robinson to talk about the show, her portrayal, and what she plans to do next. It’s ENTHRALLING.

(Actually, I’m just putting this up because I’m not done with my photocap yet)

Is Camille Grammer Leaving ‘The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills?” Maybe. Maybe Not.

Not even the best, drunkest medium will be able to figure this one out: the future looks murky for Camille Grammer and The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. According to reports on Wednesday, the polarizing former Club MTV dancer is negotiating a deal with Bravo to leave the hit series, citing an unhappiness with the way she’s been portrayed. Not everyone is happy with this turn of events (including, surprisingly, Kyle Richards), but chances are it’s just a negotiating ploy. After all, you don’t have to be Allison DuBois to see that a narcissist like Camille thrives on attention. Could she really abandon the Bravo cameras?

Probably not. In fact, Camille’s rep, Howard Bragman, announced today that “a decision has not been made.” More intriguingly, Bragman stated that Camille only did the show at soon-to-be ex-husband Kelsey Grammer’s urging. Not sure I understand that one, but methinks there’s more than meets the eye on that front.

Nevertheless, the fate of Camille will reportedly be revealed after the reunion airs (a reunion that was reportedly highly explosive and lengthy). Grab your oversized Shrek martini glasses: there’s still a lot of fun to be had with these women.

Oh, and for shizz and giggles, check out a preview of tonight’s episode after the jump…

(Thanks to Phamtastic for the heads up) Continue reading “Is Camille Grammer Leaving ‘The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills?” Maybe. Maybe Not.”

ADVENTURES IN DOMESTICITY: Espresso Chocolate Caramel Bars

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Once again, CSN Stores has furnished me with a lovely gift certificate on the condition that I review whatever purchases I make with it. This time around I nabbed four items: a hand blender, a candy thermometer, a cooking sheet, and a four-cup angled liquid measure. I decided I would test out the candy thermometer first, and what better way to employ one than by making caramel? This, of course, was a bold choice for me because I’m deathly afraid of things that are super hot and bubble. Call me old fashioned, but anything that has the potential to simultaneously suddenly explode AND maim me is something I stay away from. (And yes, I include “scarring” under the “maiming” category). Luckily, when I went through the great Apple Tatin phase of 2009, I overcame most of my caramel fears and felt more or less confident that I could tangle with the beast again.

After the jump, check out photos of the exciting process, including many shots of bubbling caramel (which is incidentally my stripper name).

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