B-Side Blog

SHAMELESS SELF-PROMOTION: Hear Me Pontificate About TV!

If there’s one thing I love to do, it’s shamelessly promote myself. Today I actually have a good reason for it. My friend Caleb Bacon and his compatriot Tim Hammer have a fun podcast named The Gentleman’s Club with Hammer and Bacon, and I was lucky enough to be a guest host on this week’s episode. This was actually my second time on the big shew, the first being on the very first premiere episode (I believe I shared billing with Darryl Strawberry, thank you very much).

We recorded the episode last Thursday when Emmy nominations came out; so we spend a bulk of the show talking about that. However, there’s some passing chatter about The Hills too, which sadly ends tonight (in case you weren’t aware). Anyway, do yourselves a favor and head over to the site (or iTunes!) and listen to the latest Gentleman’s Club podcast!

The Gentleman’s Club with Hammer and Bacon: Episode #52: Guest Starring Ben Mandelker (B-Side Blog)

REAL HOUSEWIVES PHOTOCAP: Fight Night In New Jersey

Hair pulling is the new table flipping.

So I guess this is the way it goes with The Real Housewives of New Jersey. Like last year, we had to wait an entire boring season in order to get to the good stuff at the end. Granted, I don’t know how many episodes are left of this clusterfudge, but I sense we’re nearing the end, and I can only hope things continue to get better.

The big news tonight was that we finally saw the grand, epic, out-of-control fight that Bravo has been hyping for what seems like an eternity (or as I like to call it, an Andy Cohen awkward moment). I’ve been conditioned to expect not much from Bravo cliffhangers, but I’m proud to report that the fight (whose origins we saw on the previous episode) was just as big and messy as I could have dreamed. And what made it better was that really, there was very little fighting. Just a whole bunch of running, screaming, and angry bystanders who all began shouting expletives.

Of course, it wasn’t all benign. We did catch some casual assault as America’s Next Top Model Ashley yanked Danielle’s janky weave. It wasn’t as fun as ShereÃ© tugging on Kim’s wig on Atlanta, but it certainly was more forceful. Clumps ensued.

Here’s what happened:

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VIDEO: Epic Real Housewives of New Jersey Brawl — All Nine Unbe-WEAVE-able Minutes!

I just watched tonight’s episode of Real Housewives of New Jersey, and before I even write up the photocap, I must implore everyone to watch this fight again. It’s amazing. But only because it’s so ridiculous.

Yay TV!

ADVENTURES IN VODKA: Blue Angel Edition

One of my favorite perks of having a blog is when I get free stuff. And one of my favorite free things to get is booze. I’ve been on a good run, as of late: I’ve received free tequila, free shochu, and now free vodka!

When it comes to sampling these fine spirits, I usually employ the assistance of my friend Sly, but given that she was out of town for the past week and that I was in dire need of vodka beverages, the show had to go on without her. No worries though. Sly was represented quite well by none other than IndianJones, who was only more than delighted to sample the wares (devout readers may remember that IndianJones was present during my first free booze offering, Red Stag by Jim Beam).

Our review of the vodka after the jump…

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Mel Gibson Is Crazier Than Ever (And Also In Need of Some Cardio)

If Thursday’s Mel Gibson rant wasn’t quiiiiite crazy / scary / disturbing enough for you, well, guess what? You’re in luck! There’s a brand new recording of the superstar, and this time it’s 50% more frightening. This time around, the disgraced actor spends a good seven minutes yelling, berating, and generally acting SCARY AS SHIT towards estranged girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva. When Mel is screaming at the top of his lungs, he’s panting in the most ominous way, perhaps suggesting that this breathless actor may need to hit the treadmill before his next lunatic screed. I mean, what’s the point of calling someone a “dysfunctional cunt” if you can’t even follow it up with accusatory silence? Nevertheless, Mel certainly makes his point (he’s crazy) and even semi-confesses to punching Oksana in the face, breaking two of her teeth while she’s HOLDING A BABY.

The good news is that we now finally have an apt contender for the much anticipated Mommy Dearest sequel; although, as much as I do enjoy Mel Gibson as the modern day Joan Crawford, we all must admit that his all-too-real murderous rage is perhaps just a shade too scary at the moment. I can only imagine the hell his assistant must endure on a daily basis.

Nevertheless, to hear the damning audio, check out the link below to Radar Online’s exclusive coverage. Oh, and if you’re at work, you might want to plug some earphones in.

Radar Online: EXCLUSIVE NEW AUDIO: Mel Gibson Admits Hitting Oksana, Threatens To Kill Her – Listen To It Here

Thanks to jash for the head’s up.

Mel Gibson Has A Way With Words

Great news! The latest crazy, racist rant from Mel Gibson has surfaced on the Interwebs, and it’s all the psychotic zaniness one could hope for. Mellers delivers us a hefty dose of misogynistic, obnoxious screeds, topped with a cherry of racism. It’s all directed at his now ex-girlfriend/baby-mama Oksana Grigorieva, whose hefty bosom apparently is the bone of much contention.

As these things go, it’s not as shockingly awful as the epic Michael Richards meltdown, nor is it as amusingly ridiculous as Christian Bale’s famous tantrum. However, it’s all quite the chilling experience as one realizes that this man is not only bat-shit crazy (established for some time now), but also totally controlling, scary, and vaguely homicidal behind closed doors. On the plus side, he’s refrained from any anti-Semitic comments.

Progress is progress!

To hear Mel Gibson’s rant, check out the audio here.

JESUS TAKE THE WHEEL! Alexis Bellino Leaves Unattended Children To Roll Into Pool

When it comes to children almost dying, it’s no laughing matter — even for this stone-hearted blogger. But that being said, I couldn’t help but let out a chuckle or two when my friend jash passed along the following story. Apparently Alexis Bellino, the religious and busty member of The Real Housewives of Orange County, left her stroller unattended over the weekend, and while her back was turned, the darned thing rolled forward and dumped her TWO TODDLERS into a nearby pool. The good news is that everyone is okay. The even better news (at least for the local economy) is that clearly Alexis will be hiring a third nanny as having two already is certainly not enough to prevent such idiotic accidents from happening.

Nevertheless, sources at the Balboa Bay Club in Newport, CA claim that a lifeguard quickly leapt to action to save the kiddies while Jim Bellino jumped in to help out. However, Jim informed TMZ that “There was no lifeguard needed or involved.” Well, we don’t know if one was involved, but I think when two tots topple into a swimming pool at the hands of neglectful parents, chances are a lifeguard prrrrrobably is needed.

No comment from Jesus as of press time.

Read the full story here.

ADVENTURES IN DOMESTICITY: Mango Coconut Shrimp

Last week I suddenly had a sudden and intense craving for coconut shrimp. However, I don’t deep fry things in my apartment; so I was left to investigate various baked coconut shrimp recipes. Long story short, I found a method that worked delightfully, but sadly, I was lazy and did not document the experience for this blog. That’s okay though because while the coconut shrimp certainly yielded a lovely outcome, the real surprise of the night was the dipping sauce I used alongside them. Found on an unassuming page from About.com, the sauce proved to be so massively tasty and wonderful that I kind of went nuts with it the rest of the week. The next day, I made a double batch of the dip, and quickly finished it off with some tortilla chips, savoring each bite along the way. The day after that, I made a TRIPLE batch of the dip, saving half for further tortilla chip fun while using the other half as a stir-fry sauce (as recommended by the recipe). The results of the latter were crazy delicious, and this time, I busted out my camera. Full documentation after the jump…

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Danielle Staub Reveals Reason Behind Caroline Manzo’s Reunion Breakdown

About a year ago, the first season of The Real Housewives of New Jersey ended with a reunion featuring Caroline Manzo breaking down into tears, pointing at Danielle Manzo, and saying “You know what you did.” It was all very mysterious to viewers, and in the wake of the show, many rumors surfaced: Danielle had claimed Dina’s husband was gay; Danielle had given a private investigator Dina’s phone number, thus endangering Lexi somehow; etc. etc. etc.. It was all very murky, but in the new book The Real Housewives Get Personal, Danielle happily goes on record to explain what really happened.

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BOOK REVIEW: ‘The Real Housewives Get Personal’

It’s not often that I review books here on B-Side Blog, what with my penchant for such lowbrow offerings as Big Brother, Jersey Shore, and various silly adventures in my friends’ apartments. However, every so often a volume comes my way that feels totally apt for this site: specifically, The Real Housewives Get Personal, a companion reader to the hit Real Housewives franchise. I was lucky enough to be sent an advance copy of the book (before Bethenny received the alleged “first copy” on Watch What Happens), and I was only too happy to curl up by the pool and comb through it.

I’ll get right to the point. As much as it pains me to say this, The Real Housewives Get Personal is essential reading for fans of the show. Or rather, it’s essential reading for fans of the show who are headed to the beach, many of whom are probably are doing just that this very weekend. The book is big, splashy, glossy fun — full of colorful photos, charts, and sidebars. Heavy reading this is not. Instead the whole thing presents itself like a giant issue of People Magazine, minus perhaps some of the journalistic gravitas.

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