So Simple, So Tacky, So Wonderful!

I don’t even have houseplants, but for some reason, I want the Aqua Globe. It allows you to leave your plants unattended for up to TWO WHOLE WEEKS. Wwwhhhaaaa?? Actually, the only reason I’m so impressed with this bad boy is because the science behind the Aqua Globe seems so simple, yet so right (assuming …

CoverGirl Utilizes New Tongue Twister To Sell Products

Back in Cycle 9 of America’s Next Top Model, we watched the girls stumble and slur their way through one of the most ill-conceived product titles of all time: the Wetslicks Fruit Spritzer. To the uninitiated (ie. me), it sounded like the models were merely saying “westshlicksfritzsprtizer,” especially when queen marble-mouth Jaslene got in on …

SUPER BOWL ADS: The Good, The Bad, and the Mildly Disturbing

From left to right: Funny, AWFUL, strange. After that thrilling Super Bowl, it feels almost silly discussing the accompanying ads —  the combined entertainment value of which paled dramatically next to the big game. However, it’s hard to for me to go three seconds without voicing my opinion on one thing or another, especially when …

THOSE WERE THE DAYS: Some of Advertising's More Regrettable Missteps

Is there any better way to spend twenty minutes than by revisiting all the sexist, racist, and simply ill-conceived ad campaigns of yesteryear? I think not. Unfortunately, I’m too lazy to look up every last cringe-worthy ad on YouTube, but the good people at Cracked have aggregated five worthy selections, each one worse than the …

Prettying Up Your Ugly Betty

Do the curtains match the carpet? It’s an essential question not just for monochromatic interior designers, but for curious men (and women) who seek to know if a lady’s hair color is uniformly aligned with the hues in the nether regions of her body. As we all know, not all blondes are natural, and nothing …

Grammar 1, Idiots 0

To those unfamiliar with the latest offerings on Los Angeles’s Lazy Susan of fads, one particular sensation that has swept the city by storm has been the Frozen Yogurt craze, helpfully nurtured by Pinkberry and its many imitators. Basically, people have rediscovered FroYo, but this time around, they’ve taken out the flavoring, added fresh toppings, …

Easy, Breezy, Beautiful, GARBLED GIRL

In my continued attempt to be a minor consumer advocate, I have to call into question Covergirl and their bafflingly titled line of lip glosses, “Wet Slicks Fruit Spritzers,” a name that is neither easy, breezy, nor particularly beautiful.  When I first heard of the brand, I was watching America’s Next Top Model as the lovely …

Memo To Deodorant Overlords: "Extreme" Is NOT An Odor

I’ve come to realize that when it comes to deciphering deodorant odors, I’m at a total loss.  Time and time again, I waltz into the pharmacy and find myself staring at the shelves of deodorants, wondering what in the world I’m about to purchase.  Yes, yes, I could be a heathen and sniff all the …