HOUSEWIVES PHOTOCAP: Read Anything Good Lately?

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It’s official. I’m now loving The Real Housewives of New Jersey. It’s nowhere near as amazing and perfect as New York, but I think it can hold its own with the rest of the franchise. Last night’s episode was compelling (in a trashy, shouldn’t-be-admitting-it kind of way) but also very funny. Caroline remains my favorite of the group with her guarded, maternal instincts. During the dance lesson, I thought she’d come roaring off her little couch the moment Danielle put Christopher’s hands on her hips. Let me tell you a something about Caroline: she does not like cougars around her cubs.
But this wasn’t Caroline’s episode. This show was all about Danielle and all the dirty laundry that finally surfaced, thanks to a poorly written and previously forgotten about book by her ex. Turns out that in Danielle’s past, she had been a model (read: stripper), who was once romantically attached to (read: blowing) some sort of drug kingpin. One day she came back from a modeling shoot (read: Mr. Muff’s Kitty Emporium), and it just so happened that the Feds were arresting her man. Danielle was booked as an accessory, and from that point on, the skeletons had been firmly locked away in the closet. Until now.

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Unleashing My Inner Nerd at E3

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The Los Angeles Convention Center in all its teal glory.

Yesterday afternoon, I headed down to the Los Angeles Convention Center for the video game industry’s biggest trade event, the E3 electronics expo — where nerds and businessmen come together in unholy alliance to help each other. Many people may not realize that I love video games, but I do; so every time I get to go to one of these things, I generally nerd out in every possible way. Well, not EVERY possible way. I don’t actually stand in line for hours to play demos of Zelda or Halo. But I gawk like none other (until, of course, my weary feet transform my childlike wonder into bitter misanthropy). The point is that I went and took pictures; so here they are.

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Apologies.

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Apologies for the lack of content recently. Between my tech issues yesterday and my E3 attendance today, I’ve been a bit absent. But fear not. By tomorrow, I will have posted a photocap of tonight’s Housewives, a recap/photocap of The Hills, and a full rundown of my experiences at E3 (don’t get too excited — unless you enjoy tales of creaky legs and ATM malfunctions).
Anyway, thank you for your patience.

Kathy Lee and Hoda Take On The 'Housewives'

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The Real Housewives of New Jersey popped up on the fourth hour of The Today Show this morning, and as you can imagine, it was totally awkward and strange, thanks in no small part to hosts Kathy Lee Gifford and Hoda Kotb, who managed to pepper the women with all sorts of strange questions. We didn’t really learn anything except that Caroline is not one who likes to divulge much (“you’ll have to wait and see” was her standard answer to many questions — I suppose loose lips sink ships in NJ), but it’s fun anyway watching these women squirm uncomfortably in the media spotlight.

Have You Bought 'Bought' Yet?

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In case you missed my shameless but heartfelt shilling last week, I’m back again, urging you to buy Bought, the new novel by Anna David. Some of you may recognize Anna from her myriad appearances on Attack of the Show and Red Eye, but of course, the die-hard of you remember that the two of us used to be roundtable mainstays on the dearly departed Reality Remix. Well, our bantering selves were reunited last week (see photo above) at Anna’s book party; although, I showed up an hour late and egregiously missed Anna reading a passage from the novel. Ooops. Party foul. On the upside, I did get to meet many of Anna’s friends, including Niki from Cool for a White Girl (I promised I’d give her some linkage love). So basically, yeah, I’m just shilling left and right here. And why not? I’d want the same done for me. And besides, it’s my own damned blog. Now I’m getting belligerent. And now this fluff post has turned into a bizarre stream-of-consciousness rant. Let’s just stop the madness here, shall we?
To purchase Anna’s book, click here.
And to check out one of the promos for it, follow the jump.

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The Password Is… IDIOT

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Hey guys, here’s some cool news. Starting today, I’m gonna be a contributor to TV Week. I’ll be writing for their blog — both original content and repurposed stuff from this website. Here’s the first thing I wrote, which appeared on the site last night:
Well, it’s Sunday night, and my usual televised staples — The Amazing Race, Celebrity Apprentice, football (yes, I do watch football) — are nowhere to be found; so what did I do? No, I didn’t read that book that my parents gave me six months ago; although, I’m starting to think I should. You see, I just wiled away thirty minutes of my life watching the second half of Million Dollar Password, the latest incarnation of the classic game show that has regular folks team up with celebrities in an action-packed tour de force of synonyms and stuttering. It’s a tried and true formula — one that’s sure to enthrall as much as it frustrates — but as I sat there and watched Jamie Kennedy, Norm MacDonald, and their un-famous partners struggle for words, I couldn’t help thinking that somewhere along the line, the talent pool had definitely dropped a few IQ points.

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HOUSEWIVES PHOTOCAP: Lost Footage, Found Ridiculousness

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It’s only been two weeks since we last saw The Real Housewives of New York City, but Bravo thankfully injected us with a dose of reality methadone last night with its much welcomed “Lost Footage” special. I like the New Jersey cast and all, but honestly, it would be impossible to top the insanity and excellence of New York’s second season. As such, seeing the likes of Jill and Bethenny and Ramona and Kelly was like having an old friend come over for dinner. Nothing but good times and fond memories. Really, none of the casts have anything on these ladies. Not only are they a perfect maelstrom of cattiness, but they live and operate in much more fascinating circles. While the Atlanta ladies ponder the complexities of guacamole made in a mortar and pestle (a.k.a. a ROCK) and the Orange County women scream on booze cruises in Havasu, the New York clan goes to cultural events and red carpet soirées. Not saying they’re any less tacky… just a bit more awesome.

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Good News / Bad News For Queen Elizabeth


Enjoy playing Wii… whilst NOT at the D-Day ceremony!

The good news for Queen Elizabeth: she’s getting a gold-plated “Royal Wii” with which she can enjoy the sublime pleasures of Boom Blox or Super Monkey Ball Banana Blitz whilst on holiday at Balmoral.
The bad news: bitch got snubbed by Nicky Sarks. That’s right, France’s prime minister Nicholas Sarkozy and President Obama will be convening next week to celebrate the sixty-fifth anniversary of D-Day, and guess who didn’t get the invite? None other than HM Queen Elizabeth, who’ll have to content herself with a rousing game of Excite Truck while British PM Gordon Brown reprezents the U.K. at the event. Just who would have the balls to dis The Queen like this? Hard to say, but all we know is that there’s a lot of finger pointing going on. The French say that they left it up to G-Brown to deliver the invite, but apparently, he squandered it all for himself (they also assert that Her Majesty only attends anniversaries that are multiples of ten; so whereas a sixtieth or a seventieth anniversary would be acceptable, sixty-fifth is truly substandard). The Brits, on the other hand, say that Sarkozy has a man-crush on Obama and like any good sidekick, wants to keep the attention squarely on him (because clearly no one cares about Gordon Brown). As a result, Nick & Barry are clearly having an A & B conversation, so Lizzie should C her way out of it.
So who’s at fault in this international row? I certainly don’t know, but I’m chuffed to bits about it. Don’t worry, Queen Elizabeth. You’ll have more fun playing Mario Kart Wii online anyway. See you on the Moo Moo Meadows! (hint: watch out for the cows.)
For more information check out the following links, courtesy of m_ruv and jash:
Plugged In: The Royal Wii
The New York Times: Left Out of D-Day Events, Queen Elizabeth Is Fuming
Mail Online: D-Day snub to Queen: Palace fury as Sarkozy refuses to invite royals to 65th Anniversary

The Real Housewives Head Into Space!

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Earlier this month, NASA commenced the final servicing for the Hubble Telescope, and while the photos of the mission are fascinating, I felt they could use some added pizzazz. What better way to spice up some boring space shots than by adding some nouveau riche women into the mix?
After the jump, I present you The Real Housewives in outer space!

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