Janet: Oh, Mr. Obama, it’s really so wonderful to meet you! I can’t tell you how excited I am for your campaign. Before I forget, this here on my right is my dearest friend Luanne— Luanne: I just got a perm. Obama: Ahh… very nice… Janet: And this is Marilyn. She just loves you! Marilyn: …
Author Archives: Ben Mandelker
Cheese Plate Reaches Unprecedented Levels of Internet Fame
Back in September, I went on a highfalutin jaunt to Paris with some friends, and while there, we had lunch at a cozy, New York Times-recommended bistro called Chez Michel. The meal was delicious — some of the best mussels I’ve ever had — but nothing could prepare me for the cheese plate I had ordered for …
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TERMINATOR: The Cupcake Chronicles
The Machines Are Here. And They Bring Cupcakes. When you think of the intense, bloody, testosterone-fueled Terminator franchise, only one thing comes to mind: cupcakes. It’s a pairing as old as time itself. Well, banking on that classic robot-cupcake association, Fox is promoting its new series, Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles by giving away free …
Analysis of a Facebook Poke
The other day, I discovered quite the surprise in my Facebook command center: someone had poked me. I was mildly taken aback as it had been months (which in Internet time is like decades) since I’d seen anyone use the classic “poke” feature instead of some ghastly “Are You Flirtable?” or “Are You Hot?” or …
Favorite Blog Headline of the Week
“HONK!” If You Love Children’s Theater AND HOW! There’s so much to love about this random, little blog post (which admittedly was published last July). There’s the utterly unabashed, un-ironic enthusiasm of its headline; there’s the ebullient comment of one Cookie Kubarek who writes “HONK! HONK!! HONK!!!” (note the steadily increasing use of exclamation points); …
GYM HORRORS: Sweaty Idiots Overrun Peaceful Workout
(Dramatization) Another day, another gross story from the gym. Thankfully, this tale details significantly fewer threats to my personal health and hygiene as my last gym horror story, but I still find it quite appalling. I guess by now it’s probably not hard to imagine what’s so offensive this time around, what with my headline …
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Ooops! Newlyweds find out they're TWINS!!
In an icky story sure to give you the heeby-jeebies, a British newlywed couple discovered why they make such a natural, complementary pair: they’re actually twins separated at birth. Party foul! Yes, the two anonymous siblings married, unaware of their shared genetic design until after they had swapped rings (and who knows what else). Of …
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Pasty Brit Sets New Standard For British Pastiness
I don’t often visibly recoil in my seat when I check out British tabloids, but that’s exactly what happened when I stumbled upon this image of Rhydian Roberts, star of the British hit, The X Factor, on holiday with his tantastic aunt Maxine. The contrast is stupefying. Be warned: application of sunglasses may be required …
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DEAD CELEBRITIES: Sir Edmund Percival Hillary Edition
“Bloody good time that Everest was!” Sir Edmund Hillary, the first man to summit Mt. Everest, died today at the age of 88. I must admit that I feel partially responsible. You see, earlier this morning, I happened to randomly look at a Wikipedia page on famous explorers, and when I read that Sir Edmund …
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Los Angeles Times Writer Succumbs to Sensual Rush of Nutmeg
One of my favorite writers in the blogosphere is none other than S. Irene Virbila, the Los Angeles Times‘s head food critic. Her reviews are known for their brutal honesty (“It may be all right for a drink, but the confusing concept, lame cooking and general ineptness make Hidden a no-go zone for anybody who …
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