LIFE TO HILLARY CLINTON: Wah Wah Waaaaah

Well, after a long fought and riveting battle, it looks as though Barack Obama has finally vanquished the Clinton Thunder, which is good news for some, disappointing news for others. I can’t even imagine what Hillary Clinton must be feeling right now — assuming she’s accepted her inevitable fate. Odds are she still thinks she …

Parking Enforcement Continues To Get It Done

A few days ago, I complained about West Hollywood’s parking enforcement officers being absent for two and a half hours, thus allowing two douchebags to illegally park their car in front of my building without any repercussions whatsoever. It was a deplorable situation, especially since whenever my friends come to visit, parking enforcement is on …

ADVENTURES IN DOMESTICITY: Muffin Edition

Last Friday, in an effort to save some money, I decided to stay in and watch the National Spelling Bee, thus turning down the many, many invitations I had received to go out to the hottest clubs and party with the city’s celebrity elite. It was a hard decision, for sure, but sometimes even I …

Reality TV Destroys Careers, Even For People On 'The Hills'

IT’S SO SAD! Jessica Trent. Gavin Beasley. Elodie Otto. These are the brave souls who selflessly shared their blanks stares, their disapproving glances, and their penchant for Baked Salmon rolls all so we could enjoy that much more of The Hills. And what have they gotten in return? NOTHING. That’s right, ever since landing primo …

Obnoxious Teens Vs. Parking Enforcement: Who Will Win???

Living in West Hollywood, my neighborhood is routinely patrolled by parking enforcement officers, who quietly stalk their prey from the comfort of their white, eco-friendly Priuses — waiting for that orgasmic moment when they can slap a ticket down on a permit-lacking vehicle and tow it away. Their Orwellian presence rivals a godlike power to …

Stalin, Osama Bin Laden Infiltrate Sherbet Land, Peach Beach, and the Rainbow Road

Lenny Stals takes a ride in the Mushroom Kingdom In one of the stranger investigative reports that surfaced this weekend, The Feed writes that Nintendo has banned the name “Hitler” from being used in its online Mario Kart Wii universe, noting that perhaps a ranting, anti-Semitic, fascist mass-murderer might not totally mix with the more …