THERE'S A GODDAMN BUG IN MY THYME!!!

SOMEONE CALL THE CDC!!!! I did some grocery shopping at Fresh & Easy in Hollywood, and one of the things I purchased was some fresh thyme that I’d be using with dinner. Well, after I’d thrown four or five sprigs into the pot, I set about freezing the rest — an arduous process that would …

'American Idol' Cuts 40% Of Its Minority Population In One Night

And now the shocking twist to this season of American Idol: judges will be able to save an ousted contestant anytime between now and the final five. But wait! There’s a twist on the twist. Judges can only exercise this mercy once! Dunh dunh dunhhhh!!! Who will they use it on? Well, certainly not Jasmine …

THE CITY PHOTOCAP: Jay Skips Town, Olivia Creates New Words

Did it happen? Did it really happen? Did Jay and Whitney finally break up on The City? I sure hope so because their relationship has constituted one of the most tiresome storylines in the history of the City / Hills / Laguna franchise. Not since Jessica and J-Wahl — or really LC and J-Wahl — have …

Deer Rampage Through Liquor Store, High Jinks Ensue

Animal and environmental activists will perpetually bemoan the encroachment of civilization on nature. For the most part, they usually have a point. But sometimes we get some good old fashioned follies out of man v. wild. Take these three deer, which oddly decided to go running through a liquor store in search of whatever it …

HOUSEWIVES PHOTOCAP: Ramona Stirs Things Up Again

It took a few episodes, but finally Ramona worked her charm and caused a totally awkward — as in painfully awkward — moment on last night’s episode of The Real Housewives of New York City. Oddly enough, I’m not sure she deserves full blame for the situation. What basically happened was that while setting up for a …

'American Idol' Could Prove To Be A Real THRILLER. (Get It?)

I’m just putting this out there: I thought last night’s Top Thirteen on American Idol was one of the strongest “opening nights” the show has ever had. All in all, there were no colossal failures. Some people may not have been super strong, but even the weak ones sounded decent. For once, I could actually …

Local Fox Affiliate Delivers Important Spring Break News When You Need It Most

Anyone who watched last night’s episode of 24 here in Los Angeles witnessed the local news team on Fox 11 promote a Very Important News Story about students on Spring Break being forced to relocate from Mexico to a new hotspot in California. Naturally, this intrigued IndianJones and I, and so we fast forwarded through …