There was a definitely lack of drama on this week’s Real Housewives of New Jersey episode, but I still found the show immensely watchable, thanks to the tension brimming in the Gorga family. Unlike previous installments of this season, this week was less “crazy/funny” and more “sad/depressing.” It was all about family, and we got to see firsthand the toll that’s been taken on Gia (as well as her cousins, who are kept apart thanks to the Gorga rift).
The crux of the show was that Gia had a gymnastics event that Joe said he’d attend, but oops, he showed up at the end and missed it all. Oh wait, he did get to see Gia take LAST PLACE on her team. Not a stellar outing for Lil G. If you ask Teresa, it’s all Joe’s fault. Gia was so excited to see her uncle that she couldn’t focus when he wasn’t there. Perhaps some of that is true, but I think the real culprit was Teresa, who got so in her daughter’s ear about Joe that the poor girl could feel nothing short of disappointment over the whole situation. Don’t get me wrong: it was pretty obnoxious for Joe and Melissa to arrive late, but it was even more obnoxious for Teresa to pit her daughter against her brother. However, I’m getting the sense that that’s the way the Gorga kids were raised: to passive-aggressively compete at all times.
Nevertheless, the whole thing was just sad, and a complete juxtaposition to the other happy family moments on the show: Kathy making her sweet kids sign familial contracts, Caroline clucking proudly about her kids again, and Jacqueline buying her spoiled daughter another car. On that latter point, it was ridiculous enough that she and Chris caved to Ashley’s dumb demands, but it was even more ridiculous that they bought her a rather expensive Jeep and then expected her to pay for it herself. Clearly she won’t be able to, which will lead to Chris repossessing it, which will lead to more complaints from Ashley, more whining, and ultimately no life lessons. How about next time get the girl a used Corolla? Or better yet — a month pass on New Jersey transit (cheapest option of all!).
After the jump, the photocap…
Joe: “Your voice drives me crazy. It is so sexy. It makes me want to pull out all my hair plugs and sew them back in.”
“Now that I have an empty nest, I spend my time trying to capture caddies and locking them in Albie’s room. MAMA WILL HAVE HER FAMILY.”
“Kids, would you like to explain to me why you’re not wearing your Na’vi blue turtlenecks? Because it sure as hell makes no sense TO ME.”
“Honey, you’re going to be a star. And if it doesn’t work out, it’s probably your Uncle Joe’s fault. Isn’t that right?”
Jacqueline: “Hey honey, what are you doing?”
“Oh, just texting Lizzy. She’s SO excited to run people over with the new Jeep!”
“Your dad and I want you to be responsible, Ash. And now that you have a car, you can commute to the city.”
“Ugh, but there’s traffic. I want a helicopter now.”
“It’s not fair! How am I supposed to intern without a helicopter???”
“You’ll find a way. Get a second job.”
“I guess I could always go back to modeling. I hear there’s a casting call at Antony’s Meatball Emporium…”
“I like this sawng! Now let’s rehearse it real quick. I gotta Viking Slut convention to get to. Where the HELL are my horns?”
“Hey Joe. JOE! Do me under the pommel horse. JOE!”
“I wonder what my next face will be!”
“I came to this radio station to issue a missing persons alert. Specifically, I’m looking for my sons because last time I checked, THEIR ROOMS WERE EMPTY! [sob sob]”
Teresa: “Joe, why are you so angry?”
“I’m angry because you dipped my shirt in dijon mustard.”
Melissa: “Sorry we’re so late. It took me extra long to fit this cap over my RAGE!”
“Hey Joe, you’re like two hours late.”
“I’m sorry, sis.”
“That’s okay. Just remember that when Gia develops a debilitating drug habit, it started at this moment. Because of you.”
“Joe, how much longer do you want me to balance these stones on my forehead. I CAN’T TAKE IT ANY MORE!”
“Would you look at this? Twenty-two pages of stationery, and it’s only the first sentence.”
What did you think about the episode? Thoughts on Melissa’s heartbroken pleas towards her brother? And her singing career?