Did Jason Sudeikis Knock Up January Jones?

Posted byBen Mandelker 11 Comments on Did Jason Sudeikis Knock Up January Jones?

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Mad Men starlet January Jones revealed recently that she’s preggers and due in the fall, but who, pray tell, is the father? Well, she did just break up with Jason Sudeikis in January; so the timeframe suggests that perhaps the Saturday Night Live cast member is the baby daddy. Lending more credence to this theory is Sudeikis himself who stuttered and stumbled his way through his responses to nosy reporters wanting to know the scoop.

Of course, if Jason Sudeikis is not the father, then we are only left with three theories:

1) January Jones used artificial insemination (unlikely given that she’s still way too young and hot to resort to such techniques).

2) January Jones went on a post-Sudeikis slutty binge and got knocked up super fast.

3) January Jones had an illicit side-lovah all this time. YES, that must be it! And Jason Sudeikis dumped her when he found out about this other man (perhaps Bobby Flay, January Jones’s random knight in shining armor after she crashed into three cars last year).

So in conclusion, Jason Sudeikis is either the father, or January Jones is a PROSTITUTION WHORE.

More juicy details, including Jason Sudeikis’s not-so-smooth handling of the media, here:

Socialite Life: Jason Sudeikis Won’t Comment On January Jones Pregnancy

11 replies on “Did Jason Sudeikis Knock Up January Jones?”

  2. Me, you have to go to the home page and then scroll down for the article.

  4. I vote Pete Twinkle.
    January obviously didn’t ‘put a baby blocker in her lady locker’. She could have ‘avoided the stork with a vagina cork’.

    hb

    2. hb-like honeybadger, I don’t give a shit who the babydaddy is but your comment is COTW worthy indeed!

  6. Man, if it is Bobby Flay, can you even imagine the epic Stephanie March beatdown that is sure to ensue.

  7. I just wanted to thank you for that link that didn’t work. It forced me to go to Socialite Life where there was this teaser for 40 shirtless pics of Ryan Reynolds. Totally made my day. ScarJo is INSANE.

    And yeah, he’s the baby daddy. Anyone who can’t speak coherently when pressed about that kind of thing, (as far as I know, NO is only one syllable and easily pronounced), even if you can’t get no out, uh-uh is also an acceptable answer…

  8. God I hope not. I hear she has no sense of humor at all and doesn’t get all the jokes Jason and his friends make. Ugh, what kind of prison is that for him to live in??

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