BIG BROTHER PHOTOCAP: Diamond Veto Causes Mild Excitement

Leading up to last night’s episode of Big Brother, there was plenty of drama: Rachel returned to the house, Rachel galvanized the house, and Rachel left the house. In the middle of all that, Ragan won the veto and managed to save himself, but at the risk of his NOT-ally Matt, who wound up on the block in his place. This was a brutal blow for Team Ragmatt, but we, the viewers, knew that all was not lost. After all, Matt had the Diamond Power of Veto, and clearly he’d be using it to save himself and to choose his replacement — most likely Kathy, who’s been the default nominee option since day one, it seems.

This was all obvious; so I was a bit perplexed as to why people were freaking out about how insaaaaaane last night’s eviction episode was supposed to be. Clearly Matt would save himself; clearly Kathy would go up; and clearly Kathy would go home. Sure enough, that’s exactly what happened. There was no drama. There was no uproar. Just a switcheroo for the safest choice — kind of a theme for this spineless cast.

Truth be told, when it came to blindsides, this wasn’t the biggest blindside of all time. I’d reserve that honor for Jeff, who exercised the Coup D’Etat last season and ousted Jesse from the house. It was a brilliant and exciting move, one fraught with anticipation going in, and full of drama going out. Matt’s use of the Diamond Power of Veto was fun, but nothing special. Just another ho-hum eviction.

I should note that I do like the Diamond Power of Veto more than the Coup D’Etat because while it takes power out of the HOH’s hands, it doesn’t totally nullify a week of work. The gimmick would be better, however, if it were called the WHITE DIAMOND Power of Veto, if only for the Elizabeth Taylor tie-in. As such, I’d request that the White Diamond Veto holder would have to say “Not so fast. These have always brought me luck” before using it. But that’s just me.

Luckily, with Kathy gone, we’re inching closer to a dramatic season. The house will surely unite around ousting Brendon, and once he’s gone, then there should be something slightly interesting to watch as The Brigade must step closer to cannibalizing its own. Very slowly, like an amoeba reproducing, the house has divided into two separate but friendly camps. Lines haven’t really been drawn in the sand. More like lightly etched. Hopefully once Brendon is gone, we’ll get some real tension — and hey, a backstabbing might be fun too. Is it possible we’ve come this far into the season and not seen one solid act of treachery yet?

Nevertheless, Britney is in charge this week; so the only real question is who will be her pawn against Brendon. Certainly not her buddy Lane, who has gone far too long saying “hisself” without being corrected (it’s like the Texas answer to “irregardless” and “supposively”). I’d like to see Enzo take some heat. Meow Meow needs to start testing out his nine lives.

Anyway, here’s the photocap:

“It’s an evening blindsides unlike ever before. Some might say it’s the biggest blindside in the history of blindside. Prepare yourself for the biggest blindside ev–“

BLINDSIDE!

“I am absolutely thrilled to use my Diamond Power of Veto because then at last, I will no longer be beholden to its biggest stipulation: that I must keep my hoodie zipped at all times.”

“Nom nom nom.”
Britney: “You eat like a Neanderthal.”
“Neander-nom-nom-nom-TAL!”

“Matt, without you in this house, I don’t know what I’ll do. You are the one person I can trust. I know you have my back, and I have yours. BUT WE’RE NOT IN AN ALLIANCE!!!!”

“Spare some change?”

“Meow Meow hates choosing between his kitty friends. Isn’t there some catnip I can play with or somethin’?”

“I’m really scared the Saboteur is going to out my secret alliance; so that’s why I’m showing you this note that outs my secret alliance, WHICH I DON’T HAVE.”

“Don’t drop me, Lane. I would rather sit in a room with Brendon for ten days straight while being prodded with needles and chopsticks than fall off your back.”

Lane: “I gotta get strong. Never know when you’ll encounter a giant turtle. When that days comes, I’m gonna settle things mano e mano. Or mano e turtle-o, as it were.”

“Oooh, is this the preview for the new Housewives of Atlanta? I do NOT like Nene’s hair.”

“And they brought that skank Kim back? That’s one party I WILL be tardy for!”

“ZING!!”

“I don’t like rutabaga.”

“OOOH, but I LOVE Swiss Chard!”

“What the? ‘This coupon is redeemable for one free bag of Meow Mix?’ Count me in!”

“Don’t mind me, Julie. I’m just having my own personal tribute to the Dukes of Hazzard today.”

“Hey Julie, could you hurry this up a little? I have to pee real bad.”

“The one thing I miss from home is Muscle Milk!”
Julie: “I meant, what’s the one sentimental thing you miss from home?”
“Muscle Milk!”
“No, I mean, do you have a special blanket or a photo or a pillow?”
“Well… I have a good luck teddy bear!”
“Perfect! And what’s he called?”
“Muscle Milk!”

“Julie, this Diamond Power of Veto better not be a joke because if it is, I’m going to literally fly to Africa, find a gun, rob a warlord of his blood diamonds, build a diamond veto medallion of my own, and then use it to STAB MYSELF IN THE HEAD.”

“Ragan, when you are done looking like a Muppet, please cast your vote to evict.”

“Julie, does it bother you that I’m naked right now?”

Brendon: “Guys, I gotta admit — this has been the best two minutes of the summer.”

Ragan: “On my knees and howling. Just another Friday night in West Hollywood for me!!!”
Britney: “Oh my God. If you make that joke one more time, I am literally going to drive to West Hollywood myself, light it on fire, and then douse the flames with my own bloody, which will be flowing quite liberally on account of me having SLIT MY THROAT FROM AGONY.”

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What did you think about this episode? What do you want to happen next?