With Rachel going home on last week’s eviction episode of Big Brother, two things were certain: the show would be less interesting, and Brendon’s days were numbered. Of course, the latter point hinged on Brendon losing the Head of Household competition, and guess what? He won! Oh sorry. Spoiler. After untangling a giant mass of ropes, Brendon sailed to his first HOH win, and while I do love underdogs and dramatic shifts of power, any goodwill I had towards the B-Dawg went out the window when he dedicated his victory to Rachel, the girl — as Ragan happily noted — that he had known for only about a month.

Yes, Brendon continued to be totally in love with Rachel and seemed to dedicate nearly every action in the house to her existence. Seriously, I’m shocked he didn’t yell out “This one’s for you, Rach!” when he took his morning dump. I suppose love can be charming, but in this case, it’s only tiresome. And kind of stupid. Truth is that Brendon should be looking at the game less as a scorned lover but as someone with a new lease on life. He needed to play strategically, but alas, he seemed hellbent on seeking revenge on Rachel’s nemeses as well as carrying out their stupid joint plan: taking out the floaters (who apparently still need the life vest).

Amusingly enough, the people who have qualified as “floaters” seem to be Britney, Kathy, and Ragan, and last time I checked, Britney had won a veto or two. Furthermore, while we know that the dumb Brigade exists, the morons in the house still seem unaware of its presence, which has me wondering why the likes of Enzo and Lane haven’t been issued their own proverbial life vests.

To Brendon’s credit, he did make one smart move this week: nominating Lane for eviction. It was sort of a surprise, but Brendon accurately noted that The Beast was in fact skating along just a tad too quietly. The other nominee, Ragan, proved to be a victim of his own anti-Rachel campaign. Prior to going on the block, the communications PhD proposed a secret alliance with Brendon, which was intriguing to me, but we all knew it would never work out, especially since Ragan is in an alliance with Matt, despite the fact that they both completely deny it to everyone, including themselves.

Credit must be given to Enzo and Hayden this week, who showed that under their yin-yang hairstyles (Hayden too much, Enzo too little), there may actually be some brainpower. The two made a last minute side alliance with Brendon, in the hopes that it would buy them both safety and influence. You see, the Meow Meow was concerned that Matt and Lane’s loyalties were shifting to Ragan and Britney, respectively; so he wanted Brendon to get rid of the distractions and keep the Brigade intact. It almost worked — except for that whole Lane-getting-nominated thing. However, he will most likely be safe, which means it’s curtains for Ragan. Unless he wins the veto. In which case, it’s curtains for Matt or Britney. And if Matt gets put up, then he’ll use his Diamond Power of Veto, which means it’ll most likely be curtains for Britney… unless Matt does something strange like putting up Kathy. Who knows. Either way, Lane seems like he’ll be safe.

Point is, it sucks to be Matt, Ragan, and Britney this week. Not only are the three enemies of the HOH, but they’re also Have Nots. And their torturous food items of the day week are… eggplant and escargot! EWWW!!! And by “EWWW!!!” I mean, “Um, that sounds delicious.” Seriously? Escargot is awesome (cook that shit with some butter and garlic, yo!), and eggplant just delightful when roasted.

These people are idiots.

“Seriously, I would rather tie these ropes around my neck and hang myself than try to finish this competition.”

Lane: “Screw the ropes. I wanna find a turtle! AND SHOOT IT!”

“The Meow Meow don’t play with ropes. Give me a ball of yarn and a scratching post. That’s what I’m talking about.”

“This is crazy. The only ropes I’m used to are the ones used to tie me up. Just another Friday in West Hollywood for me!!”

“This win was for you, Rachel! I played like a knight and won for you! Now who wants to pretend to be Rachel and hug me? Anyone? Anyone at all?”

“Don’t mind me. I’m just giving my forehead a hug.”

“This week is going to be terrible. I would rather take all these chaise-lounges, build a fort with them, climb inside, and sit there while a giant steamroller comes along and crushes me and the chairs all together.”

“Hey Brendon, the Meow Meow wants you to be part of an alliance. We need a nickname for you first. How about The Pussy Pussy?”

“That sounds a little mean.”

“I’m just sayin’ that I’m the Meow Meow; so you’re the Pussy Pussy. Like the cat.”

“So you’re not calling me a pussy?”

“I’m calling you a pussycat.”

“How about The Kitty Kitty?”

“But you’re more of a pussy than a kitty.”

“I don’t think I’m a pussy. Kitty wants a hug.”

“Another message from the Saboteur? Seriously, I would rather hurl myself off the second floor balcony and break my back on this cheap CB2 furniture than listen to another message.”

“I don’t know about you all, but I am VERY impressed with the Saboteur’s communication skills. It’s almost as if he has a doctorate in the field, not that he would ever indulge such information as it would clearly make him a large threat to this house, which clearly fears advanced degrees in communication.”

“Brendon, I am coming to you with my tail between my legs. I don’t think you are stupid, and I don’t think you’re a Neanderthal.”
“Oh my god, you are the worst person EVER.”

“Listen, Ragan, you spat on my GIRL when she was at her lowest point! She was the love of my life! Not even the most forceful and loving hug could save you. Although, I suppose you could try. Hug?”

“Maybe if I cover my eyes, I’ll be able to forget that I live in the same house as that neanderthal.”

“Seriously, I would rather stab myself in the eyeball with my key and jump into a car and then crash into another car on account of my lack of depth perception and DIE than sit through this nomination ceremony.”

What did you think about the episode? Did Brendon make the right choices?

22 replies on “BIG BROTHER PHOTOCAP: Against The Ropes”

  1. Three people that acted as though eggplant was raw sewage. That is perhaps the oddest thing about this whole terrible cast.

  2. Ragans disbelief that Brendon would be so enamored of someone he just met a month ago as to champion her cause while championing Matt and looking at him with puppy dog eyes. You know – the guy he met a month ago. Ragan sucks.


      1. Ragan is a crappy person among a cast of crappy people. Yet, he stands out as crappier.
        I’m soooo ready for a double elimination, to get this season over with already.

  3. especially since Ragan is in an alliance with Matt, despite the fact that they both completely deny it to everyone, including themselves.

    I wish they would just admit they are an alliance. They act like an alliance. They talk like an alliance. Ragan puts in good words for Matt all over the house. Matt shows more concern for Ragan than “The Brigade.”

    I am not Suzy Sausagehead. I know you are an alliance. Just admit it.

  4. Ben, you said exactly what I’ve been thinking all this time. Since the Brigade alliance hasn’t been identified, why do they think some people are floaters and some are not? Aren’t they all floaters (since the Brigade alliance hasn’t been outed)? It’s just weird to me how these people choose who they think the threat is.

    I want Matt to get backdoored this week so he can use that Veto and he won’t have it at his disposal.

    I was excited to see the Brigade alliance starting to have a crack. Enzo and Hayden are totally paranoid and that’s usually when the fun begins.

    1. I think Matt has to use the DVOP this week or he loses it. It’s one of those limited time offer deals.

  5. Love the Britney captions. I love how she spends most of her time in the house plotting new ways to kill herself. It’s how I feel watching these people.

    1. I know a lot of people can’t stand Britney but she cracks me up every time she’s in the DR. And…..then your captions are just hysterical!!!

  6. I read online that they even got BREADED, FROZEN eggplant and BABAGANOUSH!

    I can’t wait until Rachel has a few weeks away from Brendon and realizes what a mistake she’s made hooking up with this goober. I hope she dumps him at the reunion show. That is, unless he wins the $500,000. Then he’ll propose on live TV and she’ll scream and shriek thinking of all the hair extensions and Patron Diamond-Platinum-Bling-Bling shots she can buy with that money.

    1. ” …Then he’ll propose on live TV and she’ll scream and shriek …”
      It will be the most amazing Rose Ceremony EVER.


  7. I would rather blow a dead goat than go to the Jury House with that tequila swilling whore, Rachel. There. I said it.


  8. This blog is always so FUNNY! I cannot wait until the HG read it 🙂 Lets all throw the drama queen Ragan another pitty party when he gets out…..NOT!!!!!!

  9. Someone please shoot me! I can’t take anymore of Brenda’s lovesick speeches. Doesn’t he know Rachel is probably doing the pool guy by now! He promised her a golden lifevest!

  10. You are some witty goofball. I just roar at these! I see Big Brother greeting cards in your future 🙂 I really don’t care who gets voted off this week other than Brittney. That girl is hilarious. I would miss her DR takes. I’m a 53 yo woman who LOVES this show! Thanks for the laugh:)

  11. this blog is hysterical — particularly the depiction of Britney’s thoughts — just hysterical. Now,,,about this “double eviction”: Why is everyone so certain there will be one? How will it work? If it happens this week, how will it work?

  12. BEST PHOTOCAP TO DATE!!! My co-workers HATE me, cuz I LMAO while reading. But ain’t no office etiquette getting between me and MY Photocaps!

  13. But ain’t no office etiquette getting between me and MY Photocaps!

    Best. Post. Ever. 😀

    1. agreed. well played Felice.

      I love britney ya’ll. she seems the smartest one in that house, and by far the snarkiest. what’s not to love???


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