I’ll just get this out of the way. There were only two truths in last night’s episode of The Real Housewives of New Jersey: 1) the big encounter at the Brownstone, while awkward, resulted in nothing, and 2) Danielle is officially psycho. Pay attention, puh-leez!

Yes, after weeks of hype, we finally came upon the highly anticipated Danielle-goes-to-the-Brownstone episode, and it certainly had all the cringeworthy moments we could have expected. Mix that in with some disingenuous concerns about a baby and a hilarious yet ridiculous misunderstanding over a “surprise,” and we finally had something truly entertaining on this show. Pretty much the only thing missing was any explosive action, which was a bit of a letdown considering that Bravo made it look like a full-on gunfight might break out. I suppose that’s par for the course. If anyone knows how to mislead with promos, it’s Bravo.

Nevertheless, there was much fun to be had. The whole Brownstone saga was a tangled mess of ego and misunderstandings, which, to be fair, is at the heart of almost all Housewives fights. As you may remember, Danielle agreed to go to a fundraiser at The Brownstone, a.k.a. the Manzo family business. This was the equivalent of stepping into enemy territory, and so as a result, Danielle decided to invite a goon named Danny to “protect” her. And as we all know, there’s nothing more dangerous than a fundraiser for baby cancer.

Why Danielle felt the need to bring a bodyguard was beyond me. Did she really think she’d be attacked by the Manzo clan? Was she expecting an errant busboy to take her captive with a butter knife and a water pitcher? Probably not. Instead, she just wanted to put on a show, make herself look tough in the face of what she perceived to be the Goliath to her David. What Danielle didn’t realize was that no one really cared. And so she continued with this charade, not only inviting Danny along but also the head of the Hells Angels as well as several other shifty, thug types.

Also in her entourage was her friend Kim G (not to be confused with that other Kim who pretended to be her friend before talking smack about her behind her back). Kim G, you see, is a very wealthy resident of Franklin Lakes — perhaps even the wealthiest, based on the reverence with which Danielle spoke about her. Danielle wanted to roll with Kim for ostensibly philanthropic reasons (ie. in order to bring about a hefty donation to the family in need), but let’s be honest. She just wanted please to see that she rolls with the rich girls. I mean, Danielle practically said it herself. It all goes back to her chip-on-the-shoulder mentality, which seems to be all that fuels her these days.

Well, in a fun little twist of fate, Kim G happens to be the mother of Christopher Manzo’s bestest friend ever. When she and Danielle rolled up at the Brownstone, Kim shared a few pleasant words with Christopher (who was working the valet stand), and before she departed for the event, he told her “You’re in for a big surprise.” We soon learned this was in reference to the fact that Danielle and Kim were dressed to the nines for a beer-swilling event whose fanciest attendee was most likely sporting a Jets jersey.

And that’s when things started to get out of hand.

Kim told Danielle that there was a big surprised waiting for them in the event, and of course Danielle interpreted that in the worst possible way. I don’t know what she was expecting — a bucket of blood to be dropped on her head? A bazooka aimed at her face? A raging lion she’d have to defeat in classic gladiator style? Either way, her guard was up.

Making matters worse was that once Kim and Danielle arrived in the reception hall, there didn’t seem to be a seat for them. We couldn’t tell if it was because there had been an administrative error or if perhaps Danielle had a spot for herself but none for of her entourage. Whatever it was, she and Danny began pitching a fit, and while the Brownstone tried to accommodate them, the organizers of the event soon got fed up and kicked the whole crew out. Danielle immediately suspected this was the work of the Manzos (me shaking my fist: “MANZOS!!!”), and so she began to pace and mutter and complain, acting like a victim to the world’s largest crime when in fact all that had happened was that she didn’t have a few extra seats for her goons (who hadn’t paid to enter and were not given advance clearance).

Most hilarious of all though was how every so often, Danielle would turn this entire scenario on its head, acting as if the Manzos had committed an affront to the baby. “How could they do this to a baby! A BABY!” she said (I may be paraphrasing as I’m working off my memory). It was a bit ridiculous — almost as ridiculous as the reaction of Danny, who was just aching to get into a fight. But alas, with only six days left of parole, he wasn’t about to risk going back to jail for a silly donnybrook. Instead, he merely stood around and cursed out the entire facility, repeatedly calling the Manzos and anyone working at the Brownstone “fucking faggots.” Curiously, Danielle, voice of the downtrodden and beleaguered, seemed to have no problem with her friend Danny using the word “faggots” when it was just a year ago that she chewed out Teresa’s husband Joe for using the same term.

Of course, we shouldn’t be so surprised. Danielle is hardly the paragon of class and etiquette. The one nice thing she did all episode — sharing some kind words with Christopher at the valet stand — turned out to be totally fake. She revealed to us that she wasn’t being gracious to take the high road. She was merely trying to give him a big “F U” by rubbing it in his face that she was entering the Manzo home, metaphorically speaking. Yes, the Danielle pendulum swings to and fro each episode — sometimes we think she’s unfairly ganged up upon. And then sometimes, like last night, we remember that’s she totally, certifiably insane.

Elsewhere in the episode, Teresa threw a birthday party for her daughter that made me want to vomit. She paid to have a whole gaggle of girls hop in a bright pink limo and then go off for a kiddie spa day somewhere in NJ. Granted, it probably was awesome to all the kiddies, but for me, it kind of was the antithesis of everything I like in life. The only amusing part was watching the cutaways to Gia’s sisters, who continue to be somewhat hilarious. The middle one is always on the verge of tears, and the youngest (or formerly youngest) is without exception raising hell (this week she was taking a set of scissors to the flat screen TV and later on scaling a tall staircase from the outside of the bannister).

Amusingly, given how girly Gia’s party was, her birthday gift was anything but. Teresa and Joe gave her an ATV. This was a bit surprising because a) they’re notoriously dangerous for adults, let alone nine year old girls, but b) what sort of aspiring pageant queen zips around on an ATV? Seemed a bit discordant with her lifestyle.

Meanwhile, over in Manzo land, nothing too terribly exciting happened outside of the Brownstone incident. The kids all played the ham game again, which caused me to smile like a cheeseball (it’s nice to see affable people on TV once in a while), and then later Albie grilled Ashley’s BF about their future at dinner. It was all rather endearing. Also entertaining was Jacqueline (stop the presses!!!) who paid a visit to Ashley’s boyfriend’s mom. The woman was surprisingly WASPy and uppercrust, especially given her son, and while I thought these two ladies would mesh like oil and water, it turns out that with the help of some booze, they were fast friends indeed. Watching them get drunk and feed each other grapes was surprisingly enjoyable. So I guess that’ll be Jacqueline’s one fun moment this season.

“We’re going home, Audriana! And then in an hour, it’s time for your first pageant!!”

“Al and Tipper Gore getting divorced? I mean what’s that about? And who are they anyway? Do they go to CHATEAU: The Art of Beauty?”

“Cheers to you, Ashley. May your life be full of silly knitted hats.”

“Greetings, girls. The worst limo EVER is here!”

“Mommy! Mommy! Aren’t I too young to be driving this?”
“It’s totally safe, Gia! And if you’re good, next year we’ll get you a chainsaw!”

“OMG! Now I can look just like mommy. You know, like an alien! With big hair!!”

“Thank you for bringing over the wine, Jacqueline. I don’t know how else I’d be able to tolerate your company otherwise!”

“Whaddya think, Teresa?”
“It’s classy, Joe!”
“I taut so too.”

“Don’t worry, Danielle. We’re here to cover your back. Because as we all know, the most dangerous people are caterers and valets.”

“Hello, Christopher. Thank you for having me. Question: have you ever slept with an older woman before? Would you like to?”

“I don’t see no cocktail weenies anywhere. I swear to God I’m gonna punch someone in the face, Danielle. I swear to God.”

Danielle: “Well, I certainly showed them who’s a hot shot. I bet no one expected me to roll in here with you, CINDY MCCAIN.”

“I just want you to know that tonight is about you and your baby. That’s why I plan to cause as much chaos as possible.”

“I swear to God, those fuckin’ spanikopitas are fuckin’ delicious. If we don’t get another one soon, I’m gonna have to make some noise. Some reeeeeal loud spanikopita noise.”

Danielle: “Excuse me, but I think Mrs. McCain here deserves a whole lot more respect, and frankly so do I. And to think you’re doing this all TO A BABY!!”

“They can take away my table, but they can’t take away my dignity. And nothing says dignity like an entourage of ex-cons and Hells Angels members.”

What did you think about the episode? What are your thoughts on Danielle?

35 replies on “REAL HOUSEWIVES PHOTOCAP: Psycho Scene at the Brownstone”

  1. Danielle is not just certifiable, she is self-centered and Dina (who remains my favorite) is likely correct in labeling her a socio-path. Really? Turning a fundraiser for a dying baby into a dramatic fight between right and wrong where Danielle is right? She’s nuts and obnoxious.

  2. I have been checking all day for you to post this (desperate on my part, I know). While the episode was rather tame compared to the previews, the ladies’ blogs have been going nuts. What I found more amusing was that on the official website for Emmanuella (it was linked in to most of the Bravo blogs) that there is a note from the family on the front page thanking the Manzo family for hosting the event in spite of Danielle being present. There is also an article where they interview the father and he said that Danielle was an invited guest as was everyone else and not only did she act reprehensibly but she has donated no money out of her pocket (neither did her entourage, save Kim).

    After last night, I think Kim is horrid. Chris is her son’s best from for over ten years- she has watched him grow up- and when Danny the thug starts to berate him she does not bother to defend him (only saying that he was a friend of her sons). Though it probably would not help to diffuse the situation much.

  3. Danielle is totally bat shit insane.. but she is the ONLY reason to watch this season.

  4. Total psycho! HELLO! If you didn’t tell the event people that you were bringing a bunch of thugs with you THEY ARE NOT GOING TO HAVE A TABLE. DAhhh….

    I can’t stand Danielle. I wish she would go away. I have no idea why this Kim would want to hang out with her and be embarrassed by the whole situation.

    1. oh sorry but they knew and she had a table for 20 ppl the problem was no one could find the table… (and then those scenes with Al manzo like the godfather “talk to mi Christopher there’s Danielle drama now… is she making drama… they were expecting the drama?? they knew something we didn’t???)

  5. i guess the show is sooo boring that whatever danielle dose turn in to the worst or most dramatic scene ever but c’on ppl she just went in, yes i guess she waned a big entrance didn’t went so well 4 here but she got in and no table (and she had a table 4 all her friends no body say that, some body just make it disappear….) but o well i think the danielle brownstone drama wasn’t the worst part of the show… i had to ff all the teresa’s scenes is just to much for me…. and then the manzos and the jam games WTF… then the manzo brothers doing moms job and getting on Ashley relationship (and i dont even like that bitch)
    and the Jackquelin getting drunk with her daughter’s mother in law and then getting on her lap on the first date???
    and dina who is dina?? there’s a dina in this show????

    1. “get real”, your general lack of proper grammar, sentence structure, or English for that matter, troubles me. i could read your post 30 times and still have NO idea what you said.

      1. oh im sorry yes my grammar is not the best, English is not my forte sorry 🙁

  6. Kim G. should be the most ashamed today. She came off the worst of all & that takes some doing in that crowd. Read bravo blogs 4 the first time today. Wow. Just wow! Luv the photocap as always

  7. I am scared for Gia — the looks her sister Gabriella has been giving her are “Danielle-ish” hateful.
    Juicy Joe looks like Jersey Shore’s The Situation only older & with an extra chin.


  8. I was yelling at my TV the whole time they showed the Brownstone scenes. I think someone needs to sit down with Danielle (preferably in the medical field) and tell her what she is doing is not normal. She spun the whole Chris ” you’re in for a big surprise,” into something else and she wasn’t even there!

    Out of all the housewives on these shows Danielle is the one I want ot meet the most. Just to say to her that she is disgusting and delisuional. Making the charity event about her was going way over the line, yet she thinks the Manzos caused all the drama? Again, she needs to watch this with a psychitrist or maybe in a stray jacket, I don’t know.

    And I agree with Kristy about Kim G. Her is your son’s best friend getting berated and disrespaected and you said nothing? Something tells me this chicky wants on the show and will do anything, anything to do it, even let some cokehead, goon bash her son’s BF.

    kim G and Danielle are perfect for each other, they both want fame at any cost and as long as we’re talking about them, they’re happy.

    As Teresa would say, GROSS, GROSS,GROSS.

      1. LOL! I didn’t realize I did that! Thats what happenes when you type in a hurry!

  9. CINDY MCCAIN!! Thank you so much, I kept thinking – where do I know that lady from?

    Although, I agree with the posters above that Kimcain did herself no favors. She came off as just awful. Are people really that eager to get on a show like this? There are boys that my son is friends with that I don’t even particularly care for, but if some stranger said something even remotely mean about them, I would have their backs. Contrast Kimcain’s behavior with Caroline’s supersweet treatment of Kimcain’s son. Night and day. Or, I should say garbage and class.

  10. Wow, I had never seen such a freshly-minted biker boy before…Seriously, he’d hadda just finished striking before going to the benefit; did you ever see such spanking-clean colors before?

    I do hope the rest of the club doesn’t watch this episode; Baby Biker might hafta do some serious clubhouse penance for being caught out with such a ridiculous skank and making the whole franchise look lame as a result.

  11. This show is an anthropologist’s goldmine. There are so many lessons to be learned.

    1) Some people, by virtue of their bone structure, are just predestined to be criminals. Just look at Danny’s face, and tell me whether there’s any way he could be anything but a thug.

    2) The telephone-game style escalation of Christopher’s “surprise” comment was awesome, and symbolic of how too many people form their opinions.

    3) The rivalry between Teresa’s children is going to turn bloody. Very bloody.

    1. Actually jennifer… I was noticing his facial structure and thought Danny might be a reject from Whoville

  12. I long for your blogs. I just can’t stop laughing with your perceptions and comments.
    More than anything, I especially love how you have caught onto Teresa and what an idiot she is. It’s so easy to recognize how ridiculous Danielle is, but to see Teresa’s lack of intelligence and class, is a gift.
    I’d like for you to catch onto the phonliness of Jacqueline next. I know you have it in you.
    In the interim, thanks for the laughter. Until then….

  13. The best recap I have read. Donnybrook…OMG luv that word !

    Danielle has so much anger, she acts like the female Tony Soprano didn’t she say something to Danny like “do what you have to, just don’t hurt the sick babys family” what is that?

    When I was Gia’s age, I would have died for a party like that, [must be a girl thing] and the ATV was the frosting on the cake, but Teresa yelling ” don’t go in the water puddles” priceless

  14. Ben! I was soooo hoping Cindy McCain’s picture would show up with her saying “I DON”T THINK SO!” upon your comparison towards her and Kim G.

    Danielle’s issue is the chip she’s carrying on her shoulder…or perhaps the sun, the moon, and all the planets. She is addicted to victimhood.

    I’d like to see Danielle and Kelly debate social issues like abortion or the death penalty. Can you imagine all the “Zip its” and the “Pay attention…PUH-LEEZ!”?

  15. I never thought I would say something like this, but I’m hoping one day the headlines read that she off’ed herself w/pills. It would be fabulous if she woke up & realized just how bananas she really is but I sadly doubt she’s able to see any type of reality. Unflippin-believable. If she never gets the clue, I’ll buy the pills for her. Obsessive psycho!!!

  16. After watching last night’s episode, which I loved, I knew I couldn’t wait to read your blog and photocaps today!! Danielle and her entourage of thugs were priceless!! As usual, b-side, you were dead-on!! loved it!

  17. Dina called it – she’s a textbook example of a sociopath. Other people only exist for Danielle’s convenience. I would be seriously scared if a person like that was as obsessed with me as she is Dina. I hope Dina has good security. I hope the local sheriff is keeping an eye on the Brownstone, too.

  18. Love the Cindy throwback. I saw that in little Kim too.. But Ben, you have to go get new pictures of Cindy, she has cut her hair and looks positively bananas.

  19. You nailed it.
    Danielle can twist anything into a threat. And the Baby Cancer benefit really needed her there! How dare they treat her badly. It’s an affront to babies everywhere.
    The Manzo’s handled it perfectly. They didn’t show it, but, I’m sure Danielle’s girls were telling her not to go.
    I felt so bad for the limo driver at Gia’s party. I bet he got wasted that night.

  20. All the other posters have said what I think about Danielle. My two cents…I was concerned that Teresa put her 9 year old in a dress, with her 5 year old sister on the back of the ATV without HELMETS? I know Gia just went down the drive way but I was waiting for the little one to fall off or someone to get hurt. Maybe Teresa assumed she had two more little trolls so it didn’t matter, right?

  21. I think the whole thing was disgusting, but if it brought money to the family of the baby. Well, that’s what the fundraiser was all about I guess. And the family DID invite Danielle. They must have known she was a psycho.

  22. Kim G. Who is she ? I just can’t stand Danielle, not only does she show herself up but her poor daughters must be nervouse wrecks having to deal with the fall out she always seems to leave , she really does need help I think she should be commited before she causes herself are some other poor sucker actual harm

  23. I’ve gt to tell you that I have become friends with Dina over the last year. We design and manufacture her jewelry line. We have had several dinners while in Ny and she is just a DOLL! She lives what she preaches. We never discuss Danielle, she just says she is a sad person. I think most people can see that these situations in Danielle’s mind are just that.
    THe Manzo’s obviously have more imortant things on their minds! Teresa , on the other hand, GOOD crazy. Makes me laugh soooooo hard! LOVE HER!
    Oh, DUMP THAT KIMG!!!!!!!!

  24. Now everybody that is how a low-class person look like, danielle is so fake she think she is high class sorry danielle you are not high-class

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