There are many things I'd expect Beyoncé to endorse. Hamburger Helper is not one of them. And so marks the most amusing Beyoncé commercial since her bizarre Directv spot.

I'm now looking forward to the inevitable Solange partnership with Past-a-Roni.

Gawker: The North Carolina Poop Monster Mystery
Pop Bytes: THIS MIGHT MAKE ME GO VEGETARIAN...
Eat Me Daily: Mark Bittman Is Possibly Trying to Kill You (or Give You Botulism)
Rod 2.0: Jackson's Will Leaves Diana Ross Guardian of Children if Mother Dies
ABC 7: Photos: Naked passenger disrupts flight
Esquire: The Day the Magic Died (interview with current BB contestant Lydia. Thanks, SorryIGotDrunk!)
Movieline: Nation's Tweens In Panic As Last-Resort Jonas Proposes
gas•tron•o•my: Ludo Bites - Los Angeles
LAist: 'Moral and professional dereliction' Cited in Recommendation to Discharge Openly Gay Lt. Dan Choi
AP: Gwyneth Paltrow says Spain changed her life
ESPN: Roddick edges Hewitt in four-hour battle

Via Jokers Updates

This just in! We finally have footage of the eviction ceremony from press day on Big Brother. Sadly, Rosanna's exit song to the evictee was edited out (rights, I'm sure), but let it be known that it was a beautiful moment (she sang "Fever"). Nevertheless, enjoy this last nugget from press day...

It's that time again! CBS has just announced the new cast for the upcoming season of Big Brother, which means we get to spend a week pondering who might be our early favorites, who might wind up sucking, and who could possibly win the whole shebang. After the jump, I've got a rundown of each contestant, as well as a nifty scale to gauge their potential douchiness or bitchiness. Take a look, and then share your thoughts on the cast too...

Before she was Danielle from The Real Housewives of New Jersey, she was Danielle from All My Children. Yes, it's Danielle Staub — rumored coke whore drug kingpin / confirmed dinner party ruiner. Here she is in a cameo appearance on the aforementioned soap opera All My Children in 2001, sharing the screen with none other than Josh Duhamel. Sadly, Danielle's moment in the limelight is brief, but it does afford us a neat view of her old face. We also get to see Josh Duhamel's old haircut (dumb), and as he spends the latter part of the clip rattling off the crimes of some notorious woman on the show, it's fun to imagine that he's actually talking about Danielle, that PROSTITUTION WHOO-AARRR!!!! Good times indeed.

New York Times: Airline Has Nothing to Hide. Really. (thanks Sly)
Gawker: Vibe Folds
Valleywag: Bing Upholds Microsoft's Tradition of Stealing Whatever Designs Interest Them
LA Now: New flights begin today from LAX to Cuba
Reality Blurred: Gene Simmons says Adam Lambert "killed his career" by coming out
Vulture: The Pirate Bay Sells Out, Goes Legit
CBC News: Mint says missing gold may have been stolen (thanks ms. tumnus)
Dish of Salt: Monday TV Overload And An Early Morning Wake Up Call
LAist: Neverland Owner Writes an Open Letter to Community
gas•tron•o•my: Bánh Cuõn
Food2: Food2 Casting Call
Movieline: EXCLUSIVE: Original Brüno Ending Included Brutal Gay Bashing Played for Laughs
Socialite Life: Chris Brown Was Welcome At BET Awards
Daily Dish: Snapshot: Waffle BLT
Franklin Avenue: Your Summer Pop Song of 2009 Is... (Really? Really?)
Modern Hiker: The Lure of the Trail Snags a Governor (ahhh, hindsight is 20/20)

Remember when Project Runway was the hippest reality show around, beloved for its urbane appeal and sophisticated style? Well, now it's on Lifetime, and if this promo is any indication, the emphasis has moved away from upmarket elitism and more towards Middle American mom-jeans milquetoast. If I sound snobby, well, that's because I am. Truth is this commercial plays more like a Sears ad than anything else. It's so tragically unhip in every way. Even the music is outdated. I love Basement Jaxx as much as anyone else, but that tune is eight years old and has been used in more stupid commercials than I can shake a fist at. The only thing worse would have been to select a song by Smashmouth. I'm pained, I tell you. Pained.

The real question is if the show itself can survive the shift to its new home, or will the core audience feel simply too isolated by the onslaught of Lifetime shlock-appeal? And let's not forget that Project Runway is switching to Los Angeles this season. Hmmm... My Jump-The-Shark-dar is certainly beeping like crazy...

What do you think?

I was bored today; so I decided to have some fun. What would happen if The Real Housewives headed into the many worlds of Super Mario Bros.?

Pics after the jump...

Team USA may have lost the FIFA Confederation Cup game yesterday, but they'll always have midfielder Benny Feilhaber to lift their spirits...

LA Now: Photos: Michael Jackson two days before his death
Vulture: Oscar Producers Dis Old People and Musicians in Attempt to Stoke Show's Ratings
Movieline: Two Gay Guys Sitting Around Talking About Bruno
D-Listed: Billy Mays Probably Died From Heart Disease
Reality Blurred: SYTYCD working on all-Michael Jackson tribute with Paula Abdul choreographing a dance
New York Times: Madoff Is Sentenced to 150 Years for Ponzi Scheme
ET Online: Drea de Matteo Joins 'Desperate Housewives'
Katherine Spiers: Hills Produce Co-Op excitement
Socialite Life: Mariah Carey Blames Nick Cannon For Weight Gain

Ten days ago, an exciting thing happened: I was invited to spend the day in the Big Brother house along with eleven other members of the media. This was a minor dream come true: I got to taste the Big Brother experience without committing to a summer of national exposure (most of which I'm sure would be extremely embarrassing for me). While in the house, we played a week's worth of the game -- from Head of Household to Veto to eviction. Yes, we did it all, and it was, in short, awesome.

Nevertheless, I've been under a media embargo for the past week and a half -- but as of 6 AM this morning, the blackout has been lifted! The house guests are safely sequestered, which means I can now share not only my experiences but also the neat video that CBS edited together of us in the house. It's all sorts of fun (although, curiously, the eviction ceremony was not included on our DVD). Either way, the videos are highly entertaining, and if they don't get you psyched for the season, I don't know what will.

Also, be sure to check out my very thorough account of Media Day. It's up over at TV Week (and while you're there, be sure to check out a nifty profile of my college classmate Mindy Kaling). For those who don't need to read every single detail of the experience, I'm planning to write an abridged report that I'll have up on this site at some point. Plus, if you have any questions about the house or the experience, feel free to ask them in the forums on a thread conveniently titled "Big Brother House Q & A."

After the jump, parts I, II and III of the Big Brother media day video as well as some screen shots to help give you a sense of the house...

Scallions can really be a pain in my ass sometimes. If you buy too many, they wilt. If you buy too few, you run out. It's a balancing act that can drive a man to tears, but thankfully, I think I've stumbled upon a solution. You see, during last week's episode of Next Food Network Star, one of the contestants imparted a helpful tip to the audience: if you stick the white bulbs of a scallion in a cup of water, the stalk will grow back. Could it be? Does a solution so simple truly exist? Might this signal the end of my scallion woes?

Well, after some cross-referencing with the Internet — which is always factual — it seemed like yes, this method does work. I couldn't wait to try it. Luckily, my Korean burrito adventure last week required the use of many scallions. I was sure to save the bulbs and place them in a glass of water on my windowsill. This would be an experiment of the ages, and as such, I've decided to document it religiously here on the blog in what I call Project Scallion.

The experiment, which is only four and a half days old, has already proven to be quite exciting. Images after the jump...

You know what's annoying? Having THIS helicopter hovering over your apartment ALL DAY LONG. Yes, it's one of many Michael Jackson Grief Helicopters (a.k.a. the local news) that are hovering over Hollywood, capturing images of people flocking to the aforementioned unflockable Michael Jackson star. I'm all for the mourning process, but the choppers have to go.

Yesterday, I tried to visit Michael Jackson's star but found it unfortunately covered up by Bruno premiere scaffolding. Today, I decided to give it another go. My gym is conveniently located half a block away from it on the Walk of Fame; so I made a little detour to see what I imagined would be a sizable shrine to the King of Pop. Some photos after the jump...

Well lookie at what I have here: footage from press day at the Big Brother house. I just watched it, and I must say — my mind is slightly blown. On the one hand, it was like I was watching a normal episode. But then right there in the middle is ME. Something seems incongruent with that pairing. Anyway, I once again can't divulge really anything about the experience; although, I can share this spoiler: in one of the two Diary Room scenes I'm featured in, I have a raging pit stain that is clearly visible, thanks to some arm flapping by yours truly. Not my proudest moment (and let's not talk about the acne. Oh, the acne... shaking fist at the heavens). I can also say there was a lot from the day that never made it into the video, but fear not, I have detailed the entire experience in what a considerably lengthy article that will first appear on TV Week's website. Chances are I'll post it again here a bit later, but I'm giving them the exclusive because without TV Week, I never would have made it into the house.

Of course, since succinct writing has never been my forte, don't be surprised when I tell you that the article is over 7,000 words long. Yes, it's a tad lengthy, but fear not — it looks like it's going to be chopped up into a multi-part series. Normally I wouldn't write so much, but this is Big Brother we're talking about. I wouldn't be a fan if I didn't relay every minute detail of the house and experience.

As for the video, I'll be hosting it here once the media embargo is lifted. Don't know if it'll appear here in exclusive form or just on my YouTube channel. Either way, check back, and be sure to follow me on Twitter where I'll be posting further updates...

Also — will be answering Q & A's to the best of my ability in my forums. Check it out here.

My favorite MJ song (forgive the cheesy video).

New York Times: Reports: Michael Jackson Is Dead
NPR: Sources: Michael Jackson, King Of Pop, Dies
CBS News: Pop Star Michael Jackson Has Died
MSNBC: Singer Michael Jackson dead at 50
ABC News: Michael Jackson, King of Pop, Dead at 50
CNN: Multiple reports: Michael Jackson dies at 50
Fox News: Pop Legend Michael Jackson Dead at 50
Time Pop Icon Michael Jackson Dead at 50
The Guardian: Michael Jackson reported to have died
San Jose Mercury News: King of Pop Michael Jackson dead at 50
E! Online: Michael Jackson, Pop's Thrilling King, Dead at 50
Chicago Tribune: Michael Jackson dies, leaves behind rich musical legacy
Forbes: Michael Jackson Reportedy Dead At 50
Socialite Life: Looking Back: Michael Jackson's Life As The King Of Pop
New York Daily News: Michael Jackson will always be the 'King of Pop'
USA Today: Michael Jackson dies at 50
Newsweek: Michael Jackson, Dead at 50
CNET: Michael Jackson's death roils Wikipedia
LA Times: Michael Jackson: Flava Flav visits family home in Encino
Franklin Avenue: R.I.P. Michael Jackson: Make Sure You Mourn The Right Star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame
Popbytes: MICHAEL JACKSON - REST IN PEACE (1957-2009)
D-Listed: Statements Pour In About The Death Of Michael Jackson
Gawker: Michael Jackson's Epic Music Videos
Movieline: In Loving Memory of Michael Jackson: Captain EO, In Its Entirety
Best Week Ever: Reliving 20 of Michael Jackson’s Greatest Hit Songs
LAist: Hundreds of Fans Head to UCLA to Remember Michael Jackson
Vulture: Michael Jackson’s First Moonwalk
Rod 2.0: Michael Jackson Dies of Cardiac Arrest
D-Listed: Michael Jackson Has Died
New York Times: Rose’s Turn: Patti LuPone Responds to ArtsBeat