B-Side Blog

Poutine In My Mouth, My Mother ‘Effin Mouth

A few weeks ago, after I had been invited to a media-comped meal of various Quebecois treats at P’tit Soleil in Westwood, I knew I just had to make some sort of crazy poutine pun in my headline. It took me a while, but I’m thankful for the musical genius of Akinyele for the assist (link not safe for work, btw). Anyway, now that I’ve officially patted myself on the back for my vulgar punnage, let’s move on, shall we?

So… POUTINE.

What do we know about poutine? Well, it’s a French Canadian indulgence involving gravy and cheese curds over fries. I first had it back in college on a fraternity trip up to Montreal where after a night of visiting such fine establishments as Club Super Sexe (real place, fake boobies), my BROS and I headed to McDonalds and enjoyed some poutine with our fries. Probably not the best exposure to the stuff. Fast forward 14 years [as I gently weep for time passed], and I found myself in the heart of “Tehrangeles,” amidst various eateries hawking any variety of Persian delicacies. Not P’tit Soleil, however. This place is all French Canadian all the time (sort of like Club Super Sexe, if you think about it, but probably more hygienic). Nevertheless, I was eager to reacquaint myself with poutine, even if it did mean loosening up the ol’ belt a notch or two.

Pics of the undertaking after the jump…

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REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NYC PHOTOCAP: Toast of the Town?

It’s been a while since I wrote a photocap for Real Housewives of New York City, and I can explain why very easily: I’m lazy. Truth is that I have more in common with Sonja Morgan than I’d like to admit. Basically, we both like to sit in bed and read about our “friends” in the New York Post (and by New York Post, I mean Facebook). Nevertheless, RHoNYC has ratcheted up the crazy the past two episodes, and I think barely one scene has gone by that hasn’t been totally, utterly cringe-inducing.

Take this week’s episode, for example. The show began with Heather and Sonja butting heads repeatedly over a toaster-oven photo shoot that looked about as pleasant as if I had stuffed my head into said toaster oven and turned the machine to broil (that of course assumes Sonja’s hardware actually works, which is not necessarily a given). Poor Heather looked positively frustrated as she stood around, NOT getting paid, waiting for Sonja’s lazy ass to show up. When Sonja did arrive, she had so many requests and demands that even Faye Dunaway was probably “Chill, girl.” It’s no wonder she needs a small army of interns to follow her around like ducklings. The crazy woman has so many needs at any given time that it would take at least five people to tend to her every whim (not the least of which pertains to bloody tampons. Ewwwww).

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B-Side Blog Now Has A Tumblr!

Did you know that B-Side Blog has a Tumblr? Probably not. That’s because it’s pretty new. I haven’t really explored Tumblr very much and don’t really know how to add functionality to it, but that’s okay. I don’t really need the bells and whistles.

So why follow my tumblr? Well, because it features all the fun of B-Side Blog and then some. The B-Side Blog tumblr contains blurbs and links to all the new posts here on claaaaasssic bsideblog.com, but in addition to that, I also post most of my instagram pics to the site as well, not to mention the various junk I reblog from other tumblr sites (which may or may not include gratuitous photos of U.S. sprinter Ryan Bailey). Plus, I’m hoping to post some quick “on the fly” stuff through my Tumblr app too. So, obviously, that will be awesome. Right?

In a sense, the Tumblr will actually be more active than this here site, if only because it’s easier for me to post a quick snippet or photo there than to do a whole lengthy item here (as some of you know, I’ve been busy the past few months with non-blog related obligations, which has slowed down my output). One annoying thing: someone already has bsideblog.tumblr.com; so I had to do the weird b-sideblog.tumblr.com. [stomps foot in ground, sighs] That’s what you get for jumping on the bandwagon late.

And of course, you can also follow me on my other cyber outlets:

Facebook: http://facebook.com/bsideblog
Twitter: http://twitter.com/bsideblog
Instagram username: wait for it… wait for it… bsideblog

Not all stuff on instagram goes to tumblr and twitter, not all stuff on twitter goes to Facebook, and not all stuff on Facebook goes to Twitter. Sssssssssoooooo follow them all!

kthnxbai

Lobster Ice Cream: Cool or Crap?

In case you hadn’t heard, gourmet food trucks have taken over Los Angeles. It all started four or five years ago with the arrival of Kogi’s and has snowballed from there. Now we have a truck for nearly every cuisine and specialty, and so it was only inevitable that a lobster truck would pop up. I’m not complaining.

Enter Cousins Maine Lobster Food Truck, which specializes in — you guessed it — lobster. When I was invited to enjoy a media-comped lunch at the truck, I was only too happy to oblige. And then when I was told there’d be lobster ice cream involved, I was all the more intrigued. I knew it had to either be really good… or really bad.

After the jump, my impressions of Cousins’ lobster ice cream…

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REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NYC PHOTOCAP: Aviva Goes To Miami, Has A Pervy Dad

It occurred to me this morning that it’s been ages since I’d written up a photocap for The Real Housewives of New York City. Maybe that’s because the new cast has yet to really gel (or at least spark). The revamped RHONYC has been something of a mild failure. The show is still entertaining to watch, and our old guard of LuAnn, Sonja, and Ramona certainly keep things interesting, but truth be told, the new girls are just too normal. Well, not normal, per se. Aviva’s boatload of phobia’s and insecurities are far from the norm. However, the new ladies are almost too polite and self-aware. We need brash, ridiculous behavior from these women, otherwise we’re stuck with just another Bravo show about affluent but boring city-dwellers.

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Real Housewives of Miami Are Back, and This Time They’re Ready For Primetime (We Hope)

When it comes to the Real Housewives franchise, everyone has their favorites: Beverly Hills and Atlanta remain perennially popular, and at the bottom of the heap come D.C. and Miami. Well, D.C. got the axe long ago, but Bravo was mum on Miami. We heard rumors that the series was shooting a second season, but when would it be back? Well, ladies and gents, it appears to be back and finally the series we always wanted it to be: exotic accents, fiery tempers, and at least one slap worthy of a telenovela.

Gone are the loathsome creatures known as Larsa Pippen and Cristy Rice. In their place come four new faces: socialite Lisa Hochstein, lawyer Ana Quincoces, celebrity dentist (lol) Karent Sierra, and lastly Joanna Krupa — the first Real Housewife to have already arrived to the series with Dancing with the Stars credit under her belt. Returning is Lea Black (she of the squawky voice), Adriana de Moura (she of the crazy temper), and Marysol Patton (she of the kooky mother, Elsa). Alexia Echeverria appears to also be back, but only as a supporting cast member.

I don’t know about all of you, but I’m willing to wipe the slate clean and embrace Miami 2.0. Here’s to hoping there’s enough drama to rival anything we might find on Telemundo….

Berry Breakthroughs on Drago Centro’s Summer Cocktail Menu

A few months ago, I raved about the totally awesome spring cocktails at Drago Centro, the esteemed Italian eatery in Downtown Los Angeles. Well, the seasons have changed, and so have the libations. Gone are mixologist Jaymee Mandeville’s fanciful uses of dill and honeycomb and kumquat. In their place are a new slate of drinks, many of which feature my most mortal enemy: BERRIES.

Avid readers of this blog know that I have some strange, woeful distaste for berries that makes me generally gag upon first taste, not to mention whiff. But given that being a food blogger is very serious business, I felt it was my God-given duty to bravely put aside my own apprehensions and dive headfirst into the fruity minefield that is the Drago Centro summer cocktail menu. Never has a media-comped meal been so fraught with anxiety.

Did I survive? Well, obviously yes. I’m here writing, aren’t I? But the trauma, the agony — was I able to rise above? Pictures of this most important journey after the jump…

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It’s a Stone Fruit Contest!

Calling all stone fruit fans: KCET has a groovy recipe contest going on now that could lead to one winner taking home a bountiful prize. All one must do is submit a recipe involving plums, apricots, or pluots. Use one ingredient. Use all three. It’s up to you. Winners receive a basket of tasty items, including flavored almonds, a t-shirt (less tasty, more practical), balsamic BBQ sauce, olives, fresh pasta, tapenade, sun-dried tomato pesto, and sun-dried tomatoes!

If you imagine yourself to be something of a Professor Plum (nyuk nyuk nyuk), be sure to mosey over to KCET and submit your entry. Deadline is 3PM on Friday.

Who Will You Vote For On ‘Food Network Star?’

Well, the latest great season of Food Network Star is rapidly drawing to a close with viewers getting to select a winner on this upcoming Sunday’s show, and for the first time ever, I must admit that I truly like all the final contenders. If you haven’t watched last night’s episode, beware: spoilers ahead…

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REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NJ PHOTOCAP: Footloose and Fancy Food

There were all sorts of big moments for The Real Housewives of New Jersey last night. Melissa Gorga finally put herself on display on display at Beatstock, a gig that attracted 10,000 festivalgoers, at least according to her. One look at the empty seats beyond the mosh pit seemed to indicate otherwise. Poor Melissa (and Gia) were clearly scheduled so early in the program that probably only a hundred people had even bothered to show up yet. I don’t know why no one was there though. Aside from the Gorga-Giudice family stage presence, the official Beatstock 2011 lineup was a veritable who’s who of ’90s superstars: Shaggy, Robin S, Crystal Waters, Ultra Naté, and Corina. SIGN ME UP. Not even joking. To be fair, Kelly Rowland also appeared… but so did the Cover Girls and other such luminaries as Qwote (?), Joe Zangie (?), and someone named Mike Hush (shhh).

Nevertheless, Melissa performing at Beatstock is far bigger than anything I’ve done; so I really can’t front, but I can snicker. And snicker I did as she pranced around on stage while Bravo so obviously played her track over the action. I guess we’ll never find out if she lipsynched (as Gia and devil sister Milania predicted).

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