Real World Awards Provide New Opportunities to Mock Old Friends

02_eric_nies

Oh The Real World. The once proud reality series has stumbled in recent seasons (I stopped watching midway through Denver), but despite flagging quality, the show is gearing up for its twentieth season (!!). To celebrate this impressive feat, MTV threw a special awards show for The Real World, and honestly, what better way to fete scads of self-involved, narcissistic, ridiculous people than with a concept that is at its core self-involved, narcissistic, and ridiculous?
We’ve yet to find out who won what (Best Drunkard, Biggest Idiot, Favorite Tantrum, Most Outrageous Self-Rationalization?), but my friend Laura hit the red carpet, and when she wasn’t doling out little passive-aggressive gems (“This is one of the seasons I did watch”), she was finding out tidbits from some of our kind of favorite stars from yore.
Quick observations:
• Eric Nies looks way old/stoned. Sort of sad.
• Stephen from Seattle got fat but is dressed well (those gays!).
• Melissa from Miami is still boring as hell.
• Ruthie may have shrunken.
• Teck would fail miserably on American Inventor. And he’s too small for his neck collar, but that’s neither here nor there.
• Beth is hilarious, but we all knew that.
Some photos from the red carpet after the jump, and to see the footage, click here (via Reality Blurred).

Continue reading “Real World Awards Provide New Opportunities to Mock Old Friends”

GYM HORRORS: So Bad, I Had To Inform The Staff

undies

It’s been a while since I’ve written up one of my gym horror stories, but sadly, I think that’s more a sign of my lackadaisical workout routine than it is of improved hygienic awareness. People are still disgusting, and never was that more evident than today when I headed to the gym and encountered a lapse of cleanliness so foul that I had no recourse but to actually talk to a staff member. And people who know me know that I’m not one of those people. I’ll complain and roll my eyes, but I rarely go running to the authorities. This time, however, I had to do what was right: narc. It was either that or barf.

Continue reading “GYM HORRORS: So Bad, I Had To Inform The Staff”

Oscar Winning Screen Legend Binges on Frozen Yogurt, Drives Unimpressive Car

faye-yogurt

I had quite the celebrity sighting yesterday. It wasn’t so excellent because of the star wattage — although, that was pretty cool —  but more for the bizarre randomness of the entire event. I’ll explain.
It was about 7 PM, and my friend Jash and I decided to stop in at Angelina’s Frozen Yogurt, one of the few fro-yo spots in Los Angeles that I can tolerate (mostly because it’s not overpriced and, more importantly, they serve flavors beyond just plain and green tea. I mean, seriously, what is up with the flavor nazis? But I digress). Anyway, as we walked into this humble shop of icy dairy goodness, I noticed an old woman off to the side receiving what appeared to be a lifetime’s supply of frozen yogurt. She seriously had so much, I thought she might be on some strange, geriatric office run. The whole thing was kind of bizarre, and I just figured she was an old coot doing some typically old coot-ish thing.
Well, I stood by the registers and waited to place my order, but of course, the server was busy tending to Miss Haversham in the corner. I looked over again, but before I saw the woman’s face, I was distracted by her ever growing collection of yogurt. She had ordered pretty much the largest size you can get, which I think was about a quart. Now, most people when they get a quart of ice cream or frozen yogurt, they usually put a lid on it and bring it home to devour over the course of a few days. This woman, however, was going to eat the whole damn thing. I could tell because the server continued to pour frozen yogurt into the container way after it had reached appropriate lid-containment levels. Yes, there was a full on fro-yo swirl at the top of this gargantuan load, but I merely shrugged it off. I’ve seen crazier things in L.A.. And besides, if this woman wants to stuff her face with fro-yo, all the power to her. There are some days when I wish I could be just like her.
Anyway, the server finally came over to me, and after I placed my not-so-healthy order (regular sized Belgian chocolate with peanut butter cup topping. Heh.), I glanced back at the dairy-lovin’ lady for no real reason. I don’ t know why I did it. Maybe it was curiosity, or maybe it was because she was hovering generally in the peanut butter cup region. Whatever the reason, for the first time, I actually saw her face, and something suddenly clicked in me. I was staring at a legend.

Continue reading “Oscar Winning Screen Legend Binges on Frozen Yogurt, Drives Unimpressive Car”

State of the Blog

mayor-bradford

It’s been a while since I’ve given an update on the ol’ site, but since today is the three month anniversary of bsideblog.com, I thought I’d take a moment to let you know about things that are going on around here and all that fun stuff.
First, as many of you may have noticed, my non-compete with TVgasm has expired, which means I can write about TV again. This is very exciting for me because as much as I’d like to put on intellectual airs and whatnot, the truth is that I live and breath television. I’ve recently tried to inject more highbrow activities into my life (ie. reading my friend’s old issues of The Economist), but as long as there’s Big Brother, I’ll be a glutton for all the down-market crap the networks can give me.

Continue reading “State of the Blog”

BARRISTER WATCH: The Wet Look Is So Hot Right Now

fiona-shackleton
Fiona Shackleton before and after encountering Heather Mills.

Yesterday, when Heather Mills absconded with nearly $50 million of Paul McCartney’s money, she did so with utmost class and dignity. And then she dumped a glass of water on his lawyer. Yes, Fiona Shackleton, barrister to the stars, found her puffy, carefully attended coif suddenly matted down under the harsh deluge of Ms. Mills’s liquid wrath, and while I’m sure there were gasps aplenty to be had, at the end of the day, I think Madame Shackleton looks all the foxier. Gone is that matronly sense of disapproval that weighed her face down like a thousand raisin scones. In its place is a young, new Fiona, ready hop on a plane at Heathrow and fly to St. Tropez for the latest Diddy white party. I know it must have been embarrassing for you, Fi-Fi, but rest assured, Paris Hilton best be watching her back now. Grrrrrowl!

Did Heroes Steal from a Previous NBC Sci-Fi Series?

I have shocking, absolutely SHOCKING news. After a spate of late-night nostalgia led me to look up clips from the failed 1985 NBC series Misfits of Science (featuring, among others, a young Courney Cox), I discovered that Heroes may have ripped off a thing or two from this campy gem. Not only does Misfits of Science also focus on a group of young, attractive people with supernatural powers, but it features a wayward warning: “Save Adele, save the world.”
Hmmmm…
For the uninformed, that line sounds suspiciously similar to the famous Heroes mantra, “Save the cheerleader, save the world.” But the coincidences don’t end there. Additionally, the creator of Heroes, Tim Kring, once was a writer on, you guessed it, MISFITS OF SCIENCE.
HMMMMMMMM…
I don’t know how this ranks on the scandal-meter, as stealing from oneself certainly isn’t the most awful thing ever, but nonetheless, Heroes definitely loses a point or two in the originality department. (Don’t worry though — the show’s quality is still light years ahead of its forerunner.) To see the incriminating line, watch the clip above. You only need to see the first 35 seconds or so. After that, it’s all campy fun. For further musings, click here.

Further Travails of New Yawk's Nouveau Riche

0000047049_20080304160204

In case you haven’t been watching, Bravo’s new series, The Real Housewives of New York City is fast becoming one of my new Spring favorites. It features a wide variety of nouveau riche excess, but unlike its sibling, The Real Housewives of Orange County, everything plays out against the backdrop of old money. These aren’t just a bunch of bleached blond women running around the isolated world of Coto de Caza. No, these women revel in tacky, déclassé behavior right under the noses of their WASPy neighbors, and what’s even sadder is that they think they actually fit in. Truthfully though, there’s only one member of the cast who’s a blue blood through and through. The rest are merely pale, but comical imitations.
After the jump, a guide to the housewives and where they rank on the socialite ladder.

Continue reading “Further Travails of New Yawk's Nouveau Riche”

And That's Why You Don't Pet Lions

lions

Common sense and some sort of innate, animal instinct tells us that when it comes to lions, we humans should probably keep our distance. However, someone forgot to pass along the memo to British school teacher Kate Drew, who on a recent safari, opted to get up close and personal with the big cats, thinking that, you know, she wouldn’t get her head gnawed off. Turns out that maybe she should have thought twice. The unlucky woman quickly found herself the chew-toy of choice for one jovial lion, but thankfully, she survived this completely predictable and avoidable attack. Non-graphic photos after the jump…

Continue reading “And That's Why You Don't Pet Lions”