THE PARSLEY CHRONICLES: Chapter 2 – Coming Out Of The Dark

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Last week, I kicked off a series of reports which will document my progress as an urban farmer growing parsley from my window sill. It was an auspicious start to what I hope will become the most popular blogging series of all time (kind of a sure thing, am I right, people?). Of course, should the Parsley Chronicles fail to catch on, I can rest easy knowing that at the very least, I’ll emerge from the experience with some fresh parsley to use with my dinner.
Or will I?
After six days of inactivity from my plastic flower pot, I started to think something was afoot. I asked my friend Jash how his container of basil was coming along, and he proudly announced that it was sprouting already. Hmmmm… That’s not right. Mine should be sprouting too. Well, turns out Jash keeps his herb thing on a sill with Southern exposure, thus ensuring it receives sun all day long. Mine, however, faces the East. Clearly my parsley is a bit sun-deprived. That’s when I took matters into my own hands…

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BEHIND

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In case you all couldn’t tell, I’m quite behind with my posting. I’ve been working to reach a deadline today, and as a result, I didn’t have time to write my Hills recap over the weekend as planned. Fear not — it will be up. Eventually.
Also in store is my adventure meeting Ina Garten as well as a parsley update and a few other sundry items.
Your patience, as always, is appreciated.

'Real Housewives' Get Into A Real Fight!

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What a wonderful bit of news to wake up to this morning. There’s a fight brewing off camera on The Real Housewives of Atlanta, and guess what? It doesn’t involve Nene and Shereé. No, the two ladies involved in this explosive situation are Kim (not so surprising) and… wait for it… LISA WU HARTWELL. That’s right, the most level-headed cast member of them all seems to have gotten into a nasty war of words with Kimmay over something that has yet to surface. Some sites mention that the blowup happened at the tense reunion special (set to air November 25th). In a TMZ video, however, Kim suggests that the friction began even earlier than that. After happily mentioning that she and Sher-ayay were just “doing a movie” (a.k.a. appearing as extras) with Demi Moore and David Duchovny, the buxom blond (who admittedly looks closer to thirty than forty-five in the clip) reveals to us a hostile voicemail left on her phone by Lisa, and while it’s certainly angry in tone, I’m not sure it warrants the presence of the lawyer who then appears at Kim’s side. True, Lisa does say that if Kim doesn’t call her back, she’s gonna show up at her door, but I’m not sure the intent is to harm Kim as much as it is to perhaps extend an invitation to the next Drinks & Dialogue event; maybe show off some of that homemade joory!
For her part, Lisa admitted to Essence.com that she did most certainly lose her cool, but for good reason:

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HOUSEWIVES PHOTOCAP: Fashion Weak

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Last week amidst my move, I was unable to do a photocap for The Real Housewives of Atlanta, which was a shame since it was by far the most entertaining episode of the season. We finally got to see Kim sing, and it was terrible (as expected). We also learned that she has no idea what guacamole is, nor does she have any concept of a mortar and pestle. Needless to say, her juvenile revulsion directed at the “green stuff” in the “rock” was nothing short of hilarious. Of course, it was all trumped by the fantastic shot of her sitting in her convertible with a cigarette dangling from one hand outside the car and a glass of wine carefully perched in the other. I imagine these are the sort of women Absolutely Fabulous parodied in its heyday (except Kim woefully lacks that whole “fabulous” part).
This week’s episode, meanwhile, was not quite as entertaining, but pretty damn close. Watching Sher-ayay’s (or is it Sheree-ay?) fashion show (“without the fashions” as Nene’s gay friend noted) was somewhat amazing. The name alone was ridiculous enough. The line wasn’t merely called “She.” No, it was “She BY SHEREÉ.” Sadly for her, things did not go smoothly for the SBS launch. Sherayay received samples that she claimed were tacky; although, the jury (as in the courtroom kind, not the diamonds and gold kind) is still out on whether the original designs were anything worth noting in the first place. The tongue lashing she gave the seamstress was glorious (in an awful sort of way), and I must admit I was rather dumbfounded by the depths of Sher-ayay’s vindictiveness when she invited her ex-husband to her show, stood and posed with him warmly, and then announced to us that she just wanted to rub her success in his face. She by Shereé? More like BITCH by Shereé. Of course, Sherayay then boasted about being able to succeed without the presence of Bob in her life, which was kind of funny seeing how the viewing party was something of a failure (judging by the lack of anything to VIEW). I mean, if these people wanted to look at pictures of designs instead of the designs themselves, they could have just asked for a jpeg.
As for the other housewives, not much happened with them. DeShawn tried to play peacemaker between the warring factions of Nene vs. Kim-rayay, but that pretty much failed when the latter two ladies opted to skip the much hyped sunset barbecue at the Snow residence. Lisa, meanwhile, learned that her husband would be jetting off to Oakland to play for the Raiders. She wasn’t particularly happy about this (c’mon, Lisa. Support Ed. HE’S THE BEST), but she didn’t have much to fear. Spoiler alert: poor Ed didn’t make it beyond training camp. (And in other Wu Hartwell gossip, turns out Lisa was formerly married to Keith Sweat, with whom she had two boys. Dunh dunh DUNH!).
Oh, and then there was Nene. She pretty much puttered around this episode, raising some money for her charity, Twisted Hearts (sounds like an ’80s ballad), and talking smack about Kim and Sherayay. Things intensified for her quickly, however, when a sassy DNA testing experience resulted in the news that (get ready for it) Curtis was not her father. BOOM. I really thought he would be. Luckily, Nene had her whole family to rally around her, which was a very sweet moment, but she still seemed quite devastated. Hopefully we’ll see the repercussions of this news next week. Until then, onto the supersized photocap!

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THE PARSLEY CHRONICLES: Chapter 1 — And So It Begins

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This past weekend, I headed to the nearby Ikea in search of various household items for my new apartment, and because I’m somewhat clueless when it comes to discount Swedish design, I employed the dutiful help of my friend Jash, who happens to be an expert at all things decor related. Well, as we wended our way through the facility, we eventually came upon a small display of do-it-yourself herb boxes, with each one containing a pellet of soil and seeds — perfect for home-grown vegetation. Jash announced that he was buying one and suggested that I get one too. It seemed like a good idea: I never have fresh herbs available, and whenever I do, half of them usually go bad before I can use them up. However, if I grew my own, I’d not only have them accessible (in ten to twelve weeks), but they’d last longer! Huzzah!
Well, I grabbed the parsley — petroselinum crispum, if you will — and so began the grand experiment: would I be able to successfully grow a bundle of herbs in my apartment? Or would I fail miserably like the horticulturally averse city dweller that I am? I guess we’ll all find out because I plan to document the growth (or lack thereof) of my parsley over the next ten to twelve weeks, which is the amount of time Ikea suggests before the parsley is ready for harvesting. Hopefully, great things will come out of this herb adventure.
After the jump, check out the exciting planting process that will lay the foundation for the rest of this series.

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Change Comes to B-Side Blog

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Last week, change not only came to America, but to B-Side Blog as well. I packed up my belongings, left West Hollywood, and made the lengthy journey to a new residence a mile away. The good news is that I have finally entered the hallowed world of 21st century stovetops. The bad news is that I’m now woefully behind on my blogging obligations. Not only did I lose Internet access for three and a half days (the horror!), but the entire process of packing, unpacking, and raiding Target for vital housewares has thrown a wrench into pretty much all my writing. Things seem to have settled down though; so I should be getting up to speed soon enough. Please bear with me in the meantime!
Much appreciated,
B-Side
p.s. if you’re really antsy, feel free to discuss Sunday’s stellar episode of The Amazing Race.

Bobble Bowl 2008!

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Tonight my two favorite football players, Santana Moss and Hines Ward, are going head to head in a game I like to call Bobble Bowl 2008. It’s named that because I have bobbleheads of both players, and any time I have an opportunity to take both figurines out and place them next to the TV, I’m happy. The tradition started in early 2005 when the Jets faced the Steelers in a closely fought and unbearably exciting Divisional Playoffs game. Thanks to Doug Brien’s field goal choke, the Steelers advanced to the next round while the Jets went home empty handed, eventually trading Santana Moss to the Washington Redskins in the post season. In the nearly four years since then, Santana and Hines never faced each other in the regular season, and so Bobble Bowl has been on a quiet hiatus. Tonight though, that all changes. Who will I root for? I don’t know. But a fun time will be had by all!
Hines, Santana, SNL, The Hills, and Gossip Girl: could this be the best night of TV ever? Maybe…

Scenes from Halloween 2008

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Every year, half a million people descend on the West Hollywood Halloween Carnivale to drunkenly cavort and show off silly costumes. The looks range from simple and innocent to elaborate and bawdy. It’s nothing short of an eyeful. And it’s super fun. This year, a group of us headed down into the fray, and of course I brought my trusty camera. A large assortment of photos after the jump.
BE WARNED. There are a few pics that might not be very safe for work (partial, disturbing nudity!!!!)

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HOUSEWIVES PHOTOCAP: Going Once, Going Twice, Not Sold!!!

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I should be working on my Hills recap, but seeing that Monday’s show was a bit of a drag, I find myself more drawn to making fun of last night’s Real Housewives of Atlanta instead. Poor, poor Deshawn made a fool of herself on a national stage (just like she wanted!) when she organized one of the sloppiest and ill-conceived auctions in TV history. Even those poor saps on The Apprentice can figure out how to raise money (well, maybe not Steven Baldwin, but I digress). Here’s a hint, Deshawn: if you want to raise serious dough, charge for admission. And only invite Bill Gates.
In other news, a rift seems to be growing between Nene and faux-cougar Kim now that the latter party has become besties with fellow drag queen Sheree-ay, er, Sheray-ay, er, Shereé. It’s all a bit Laguna Beach season 1 (remember Christina not inviting Lo and LC to her party? tsk tsk), but nevertheless, it’s always funny to see petty women go at it. I’ll always be firmly in camp Nene though, especially because next week she appears to make fun of Kim’s age (which apparently really is 29 under all those crusty layers of blush).
Anyway, onto the photocap!

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