I should be working on my Hills recap, but seeing that Monday’s show was a bit of a drag, I find myself more drawn to making fun of last night’s Real Housewives of Atlanta instead. Poor, poor Deshawn made a fool of herself on a national stage (just like she wanted!) when she organized one of the sloppiest and ill-conceived auctions in TV history. Even those poor saps on The Apprentice can figure out how to raise money (well, maybe not Steven Baldwin, but I digress). Here’s a hint, Deshawn: if you want to raise serious dough, charge for admission. And only invite Bill Gates.
In other news, a rift seems to be growing between Nene and faux-cougar Kim now that the latter party has become besties with fellow drag queen Sheree-ay, er, Sheray-ay, er, Shereé. It’s all a bit Laguna Beach season 1 (remember Christina not inviting Lo and LC to her party? tsk tsk), but nevertheless, it’s always funny to see petty women go at it. I’ll always be firmly in camp Nene though, especially because next week she appears to make fun of Kim’s age (which apparently really is 29 under all those crusty layers of blush).
Anyway, onto the photocap!

“So here’s the plan: I intend to raise a million dollars by auctioning off only twelve items and not charging anyone admission. Sounds pretty foolproof to me.”

“Gosh, these mimosas really could use some Dom to help them out. We should also ask if they have any ketchup for the beluga caviar I just ordered.”

“I love champagne. I remember having so much of it on my 21st birthday… THIRTY YEARS AGO.”

“ED! This video is inappropriate for jewelry night! What do you think this is? DRINKS & DIALOGUE???”

“You have to promise not to make my son look like RuPaul.”
“Make your son look like RuPaul. Got it!”

“Cheers to us being beautiful! And by ‘beautiful,’ I mean me looking 45 and you looking like a man.”

“Phew! Thank God we’re doing this. I almost went thirteen hours without a professional photo shoot!”

“There’s no coat check? What the hell sort of drag show is this?”

“Hi everyone. I just want to welcome you to the WORST AUCTION EVER.”

“Now I have to tell these girls with low self-esteem that no one wanted to help them. GREAT.”

“Yeah, so, next time you spend $30,000 of my hard earned money, get a party planner. kthanxbye.”