ADVENTURES IN DOMESTICITY: Pot Roast Edition

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Yesterday, I received a new dutch oven (technically a risotto pot), and in honor of this new, formidable piece of equipment, I knew I just had to braise something. But what? Well, I turned on the television, and there was Tyler Florence whipping up a pot roast. I wouldn’t say that it’s my favorite meal of all time, but there was a certain element of kismet that I couldn’t deny in watching TAHLAH (as I’ve called him ever since an old Asian woman on his show yelled out his name in similar fashion). Anyway, I went off to the store, bought a two pound chuck roast, some veggies, and got to work.
The results? Well, they’re after the break.

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LuAnn De Lesseps: "It's Every Girl's Dream To Be A Countess"

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The good people at W Magazine recently conducted an interview with Countess LuAnn de Lesseps from The Real Housewives of New York City, and in the piece, the beleaguered taco night detractor attempted some nimble damage control with a dash of self-promotion thrown in for good measure (insert haughty Countess laugh here, as well as a hand placed gently on your shoulder and perhaps an optional utterance of “No, no, no, my love”). Yes, Lu-Lu answered all sorts of questions, happily plugging her book, Class with the Countess, and noting that one of the primary reasons she penned it was because “it’s every girl’s dream to be a countess.” I do hope she was being tongue-in-cheek as I tend to think the stereotype is that most girls want to be princesses, not stuck somewhere on the nobleman spectrum, just above viscount but below marquess.
Aspirations of peerage be damned, LuAnn also assures us that many of her more snobby moments on the TV show are merely the result of editing. Ain’t that always the case? Of course, no interaction with The Countess would be complete without an unspoken sign of WASPy indignation (covered up, naturally with the HCL — Haughty Countess Laugh), and that moment came courtesy of a question about Kelly Killoren Bensimone’s presence on the show. LuAnn’s response? “[Laughs again. Loudly.] Poor thing, did you see the papers today?”
(And yes, that was a thinly veiled reference to the pugilistic allegations about Kelly that surfaced earlier this week.)
Anyway, I still like LuAnn quite a bit, despite her tendency to be a bit evil this season. To read more of the interview, check out the Editor’s Blog at W Magazine.
• REAL HOUSEWIFE LUANN ON ETIQUETTE, HER “FAN BASE,” AND THAT BETHENNY[W Magzine]

THERE'S A GODDAMN BUG IN MY THYME!!!

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SOMEONE CALL THE CDC!!!!
I did some grocery shopping at Fresh & Easy in Hollywood, and one of the things I purchased was some fresh thyme that I’d be using with dinner. Well, after I’d thrown four or five sprigs into the pot, I set about freezing the rest — an arduous process that would have me pulling the leaves off all the stems in the package. Everything seemed to be going fine until I saw the above monstrosity amidst my herbal refuge. HORRIFYING!
Is this a normal thing? Am I being a pansy? I should note that the herbs are organic; so I suppose anything goes with THAT.
UPDATE: Jash says that bugs are good for herbs and that in the future, I should be more diligent with my washing and shaking of the thyme. Crisis averted, I suppose.

HOUSEWIVES PHOTOCAP: Ramona Stirs Things Up Again

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It took a few episodes, but finally Ramona worked her charm and caused a totally awkward — as in painfully awkward — moment on last night’s episode of The Real Housewives of New York City. Oddly enough, I’m not sure she deserves full blame for the situation. What basically happened was that while setting up for a charity event at the American Cancer Society’s Hope House (I believe that’s what it was called), Ramona started giving Bethenny dating advice. Her recommendation: go out with a lot of guys and have fun. This, however, ran counter to what Countess LuAnn De Lesseps believed. The Titled One believed that such activities might make a lady look cheap and wanton — or so she said in so many words. Eventually, Bethenny fell to the wayside and LuAnn and Ramona sparred on the merits of male company, which somehow led to Ramona noting that LuAnn had married a man twice her age. Factually, this was incorrect (Alexandre was 42 when he married the 27 year old LuAnn), but what was more insulting to LuAnn was when she asked Ramona if she thought Alexandre was an old man, and Ramona shrugged “yeah.”
OHHHHHHH HEELLLLL TO THE NOOOO.

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T.I. Quest Begins!

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As many readers know, I’m prone to engaging in serialized quests for often fruitless goals: parsley, Angry whoppers, etc.. I’ve decided that my next pursuit will be rapper of the moment, T.I., who’ll be heading to jail in about seventeen days or so. I’m a big T. I. fan, and lately, he’s been popping up everywhere. I mean, everywhere. He’s put in a cameo on Kathy Griffin My Life On The D-List, and tonight, he’s going to be on Reality Chat on the TV Guide Network. Therefore, I’ve decided that I would like to throw my hat into the T.I. publicity ring. I’m not asking for an interview, but maybe a picture with the man? You know, I can show up at some gig or event here in Hollywood, snap a photo or two with him, and then be on my way like the dutiful blogger that I am. Sounds easy enough. I should add that I’m not some freak stalker; so let’s clarify that right now. And I’ve been known to be surprisingly un-awkward around rappers (I once received props from Method Man in one of my crowning Hollywood moments).
So…
Who here knows T.I.’s people?
[crickets]
Developing…

'Housewife' Kelly Killoren Bensimone Arrested — And Not For Being Criminally Boring

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It appears as though another lovelorn couple has fallen off the horse at the metaphorical Hamptons Classic. Kelly Killoren Bensimone, a.k.a. THE SOCIALIZER a.k.a. the boring new cast member of The Real Housewives of New York City has been arrested for punching her ex-fiancé, Nick Stefanov, in the face in what we can only imagine was the most personality-free beating of all time. Nevertheless, we don’t know much about the incident except that Stefanov allegedly complained that the injuries he sustained were worse than anything Rihanna had endured. Sounds like a dubious claim at most, but perhaps he’s trying to land a spot on Oprah’s upcoming domestic violence super bonanza airing this week. As for Kelly, she’s denied the allegations, and for all we know, even if she had battered her man, it was probably just her attempt to give him a young-old face to match her own. So really, it was out of love.
• BEAU: I GOT A ‘WIFE’ BEATING [New York Post]

The Greatest Collection of Album Covers Ever?

A few weeks ago, I blogged about a creative Facebook meme that quickly took the internet by storm for forty-eight beautiful hours before flaming out in typical cyber fad fashion. I’m talking, of course, about the create-your-own-album-cover craze which had users combining random quotes, Wikipedia entries, and Flickr pics into one wonderful mashup of potential Indie band art. The results were often hilarious, and even though making the images took a little bit of effort, it was always worth it. Anyway, I told people to send in their best pics, and now I’m happy to present all the submissions as well as a few from the Internet that I found amusing.
Pics after the jump…

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When Martha Tweets, I Feel Joy

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One thing I’m learning to enjoy about Twitter is the ability to follow real life celebs as they tweet the day away. For some, the feeds humanize them, turning stars into real people to a certain degree. For others, they just come off ass obnoxious and fake (like me!!). And then there’s Martha Stewart. Almost everything she posts is a gem, especially considering the high degree with which she mentions, replies to, or shows interest in hip hop stars. But it’s more than just that. It’s about imagining her famously measured yet cheerful voice as she gives shout-outs to Diddy, calls New Yorkers “wimps,” or merely delivers grim news about errant propane tragedies.
In case you’re not convinced, check out these five recent tweets from Martha’s feed:

MarthaStewart: perez hilton- new yorkers are feeling sorry for themselves– the economy etc- but buck up= the worst is yet to come and it will not be snow
MarthaStewart: @snoopdogg Yo snoop, check out MY doggies new doggie blog http://tinyurl.com/baeoat
MarthaStewart: getting read to meet q-tip and make a cute craft with him on my show-an afternoon taping he has a new single album
MarthaStewart: lunch with ludcris was great fun- just charming- he is in town preparing for tomorrow on jimmy fallon- he loved lunch-esp choc cake
MarthaStewart: chow breeder karen tracy lost eleven chows and five boarders in a tragic propane explosion- my little ghenghis khan perished in the blaze

(In related news, I hope everyone and everything is okay after that propane explosion)
Remember that you can follow me and this blog on Twitter. Just go to http://twitter.com/bsideblog.

HOUSEWIVES PHOTOCAP: The One Where Ramona One-Ups The Governor of New York

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I think discussion of last night’s Real Housewives of New York City begins and ends with Ramona assaulting Governor David Patterson with her own struggles with blindness. It pretty much sums her up to a T: crazy, funny, often inappropriate, and lacking self-awareness. Moments like this are what link this iteration of the franchise to Orange County and Atlanta and at the same time completely differentiate it. After all, Ramona is just as cringe-inducing as Tamra or Kim, but unlike them, she has access to high society circles (somehow) that those other women do not. So what am I trying to say? I don’t know. I thought I had a point, but I’m not sure I do.
Nevertheless, last night’s episode brought more of the crazy, thanks mostly to Ramona, who when not one-upping the blind governor was lecturing the Countess about boarding school, hissing at Alex and Simon, or talking about her daughter’s rheumatoid “something.” (Way to stay on top of her medical condition. I suppose that’s not one of the memories they share at night in bed.)
LuAnn meanwhile displayed some uncharacteristic rage at the end of the episode when her husband, Count Alexandre, missed their daughter’s DISASTROUS horse show. Methinks this was a mere appetizer to what appears to be a De Lesseps meltdown next week, no doubt spurred by her housekeeper’s new sassy look. Jealousy will do odd things to women. Speaking of Rosie, it was nice to see her back (even though we caught a glimpse of her two episodes ago in the background). LuAnn gave her a warm welcome before immediately cracking the whip and sending the poor woman down to the basement to deal with all those complicated things like folding up boxes for the trash.

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ADVENTURES IN DOMESTICITY: Brazilian Shrimp Stew Edition

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It’s been a while since I’ve written about my cooking, but fear not, I’m still attempting all sorts of exotic dishes in my humble kitchen, and yes, most of them turn out bright orange. Case in point: this Brazilian Shrimp Stew recipe that I found on Epicurious. As most of my culinary adventures are inspired by television, this dish from south of the Equator came about in my attempt to whip something up in honor of Survivor’s new season set in the Brazilian highlands. I was hoping to cook this for the season premiere, but, well, I didn’t. Instead, I think I had some sort of spinach concoction (which was quite good, I should add. I’ll have to publish that experience at a later date). Anyway, just because I was too lazy to cook this on the season premiere night didn’t mean that I was going to give up on it altogether. I eventually got my act together and tackled the recipe — with quite delightful results, I might add. The photos after the jump…

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