How much do I love Downton Abbey? Let me count the ways. Or actually, just take my word for it. I love everything about this series — from the dialogue to the acting to the characters to the cinematography. That’s why it’s rather shocking that I only now caught up to the latest episode (heavens!). Due to a time crunch caused by various external events, I’ve been tragically behind on this season, which meant I couldn’t do any photocaps. Thankfully though, I’m all up to speed now, and my photocapping can happily resume. Feels good to be back. Let’s just hope there aren’t any shocking soup scandals to derail me once again. My my!
Photocap after the jump…
“Heavens! Are those letters? Were they written before dinner? Surely no one would be receiving letters written AFTER dinner!”
“Mr. Molesley, did’ya receive a letter, did you?”
“No, mum. It’s just a napkin. I stare at it whenever Anna goes on about Mr. Bates.”
Mary: “I had a dreadful nightmare last night.”
Matthew: “Do tell.”
“I dreamt that p’PAA had mismanaged Downton Abbey.”
“Well I should say that sounds like quite the fright.”
“Could you imagine? MISMANAGEMENT? Heavens!!!”
“Lady Crowley, I fear that you have news about Ethel. I think we all know that her luck has taken a downward turn.”
“Yes, she’s a prostitute.”
“HEAVENS! I can’t believe you would say such a word!”
“Which word? Prostitute?”
“I’m afraid the more one says PROSTITUTE, the funnier it sounds. Prostitute prostitute prostitute!”
“Has she no decency?”
“You know what I need right now? An electric toaster.”
“Wouldn’t it be grand if I had a tractor? Sure, I may be alone the rest of my life, but at least I’d have a tractor. Oh p’PAA! Just imagine it!!!!”
“Edith, do shut up.”
“Maybe I should have taken breakfast in bed.”
“I wonder if Mr. Bates has written me any BORING letters.”
“Oh look! It’s a letter from Mr. Baaaaates!!! Oh wait. It’s just a thimble.”
“I’m afraid I have some bad news. I tried to smuggle an electric toaster in my hat, but the villagers caught me. Heavens…”
“Dear Anna. Things are boring in here. Love, Mr. Bates.”
“Ethel, you should have no shame. One must make oneself useful, even if it is with one’s fuzzy scone.”
“Sometimes I wonder… why am I back on this show?”
Cora: “Edith, is something wrong? You look ghastly.”
Mary: “No, mother. That’s just the way spinsters look.”
“I want a tractor, and I want it NOW!”
Cora: “Maybe we should set you up with one of the invalids down by the porridge kitchen.”
“Tell me: what are your thoughts on Argo?“
“I keep my opinions to myself… specifically, in my gullet.”
“Don’t tell anyone, but I’m on the run. I’m wanted for 1st Degree Annoyingness.”
“HEAVENS!! Then it’s settled.”
“I don’t understand.”
“IT is SETTLED.”
“For God’s sake, Branson. It’s what I say when I haven’t got anything more inventive to say.”
“Ah. So then it’s settled.”
“NO. I SAY WHEN IT, whatever IT IS, IS SETTLED!”
“Oh Mr. Carson. I am dddrrrrrrunnnk.”
“HEAVENS!! What is that monstrosity! You know I fear metal objects!”
“It’s an electric toaster. Finally: an answer to all my toast needs!”
“Although… I wonder… maybe instead of staying up late toasting bread, I should be finding true love and happiness.”
“Nope. I’d rather have toast!”
“Hello, I’m here to interview for the position of Simon Baker.”
“Yerr a sight for sore eyes. And my eyes are very sore. Stayed up until 3 AM toasting bread.”
“Tell me, Jimmy… do you enjoy Katy Perry too?”
Matthew: “There are some peculiar items in this log.”
“THEN IT’S SETTLED.”
“Quite the contrary. It appears as though–“
“Matthew. I said it is settled.”
“Oh darling. It was so hard being awful without you.”
“Do I smell burnt toast?”
“I have a lady back.”
“Oh, hello. I can’t help but notice that you’re disrobing. Might I watch? Purely for educational reasons.”
“Sure. That’s not strange at all. By the way, have you seen my electric toaster? Some old lady in town hit me with a fire poker and stole mine.”
“Mary, I’m afraid I have some distressing news. It appears as though there’s been some… mismanagement.”
“HEAVENS! How could you DARE raise the spectre of mismanagement? I should have you thrown right out of this house… except we haven’t paid the staff in three months; so they’ll be rather reticent to listen to my commands.”
“Father, I wrote a letter to the newspaper demanding rights for tractors.”
“Edith, at least TRY to put some effort into your appearance.”
“Hullo. I’m Jimmy. Quick question: is it customary for the valet to help undress footmen also?”
“Aren’t you The Mentalist?”
“I love The Mentalist! Almost as much as I love tractors!”
“Oh dear. There truly is no hope for Edith.”
“How about that Edith? Writing letters as if ANYONE cares what she has to say. We never much liked her.”
“She is a bit of a wet crumpet. Speaking of downers, I need to speak to you about some mismanagement.”
“Mismanagement?? Heavens! That’s a great laugh. If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go invest your fortune in sweetbreads and top hats.”
“Sybil, I may be annoying, but you have to admit: I got a bangin’ body under this thermal.”
“Ah yes. My favorite morning activity. Reading the newspaper. Here’s a funny headline. ‘Tractors Deserve Rights, and So Do Women. But Mainly Tractors,’ written by… EDITH GRANTHAM. HEAVENS!!!!!”
“Oh Father, do you like it?”
“Are you out of your mind? What’s gotten into that ugly little head of yours?”
“I thought it was rather nicely written… well, for a spinster.”
“Even I liked it, and I’m awful.”
“Maybe it’s the smell of burnt toast altering my judgment, but I thought I did a rather standup job with my article.”
“Edith, it’s times like these when I’m envious of Ethel and her willingness to give away her child to strangers.”
“Cousin Violet, I’m afraid I have some rather distressing news. I believe there’s been some–“
“Please don’t say mismanagement.”
“HEAVENS!!! Not mismanagement!!!”
And now let’s end on an utterly boring note.
What do you think about this season so far?
**Please no spoilers if you’ve already gone ahead and watched the rest of season three**
I share your love of this show. From the first note of that lucious theme until the end of the hour, I am riveted. And yes, I got teary when Bates and Anna got their letters from each other. But I get soppy easily. And the ending wasn’t boring, you! 🙂
Branson is the worst revolutionary ever. He fights for equality in Ireland, but at the first offer of bespoke suits, he backs down and learns to accept the spoils of marrying rich. His arc is about learning that it’s not that bad to be rich.
I also love this season’s breakfast scenes with Lord Crowley, Matthew, Branson and Edith.
Ben, thank goodness ur photocapping this amazing show. I love it too!!!! My absolute favourite. Cousin Isabel is my favorite. And yes, that Bates storyline is the worst part. Everytime there’s a scene at the prison, I wanna pull my hair out. He should stay there.
And since u love this show as much as I do, check this amazing impressions of the characters by some guy named Luke kempner. It’s a must see if ur a fan.
Hey Ben, don’t watch that YouTube until after uve seen episode 5 cuz it might spoil some stuff. Hehe. Sorry I don’t wanna ruin some surprises for you.
Poor poor spinster Edith.
I’m anxious for juicier scenes with Thomas and the new footman!
This photocap made me laugh so hard I was crying! So funny! I can’t wait until you get all caught up!
Comments are closed.