Not a lot of drama on the latest episode of Real Housewives of New Jersey, but it did prove to be one of the most emotional installments in recent times. It was all about the gays this week, starting with Rosie’s heart-wrenching tale of coming out as a lesbian, leading to Caroline’s brother’s gay wedding, and ultimately ending with a smack of homophobia courtesy of the most gay-lovin’ man on TV: Joe Giudice. Fun times had by all!
Let’s start with Rosie. We loved her random cameos last season, and this year, the producers have wisely upped her role in the cast. Often she’s been seen as an ambling, butch, amusingly volatile lady, but this week we saw her tender side as she tearfully explained to her niece and nephew the hardships she endured as a closeted lesbian. Her account of talking to her father just prior to his death and his declaration that she probably would never get married was nothing short of tear-inducing. Of course, I didn’t cry because I’m a STRONG MAN, but I did get misty (and my viewing partner Phamtastic had a full-on trembling lip). It honestly was one of those great, moving scenes that remind us that reality TV can — at times — have a heart.
Similarly moving was Kathy’s teary response to her sister’s struggles. Her unconditional love and support for Rosie was almost as cry-worthy, and quite frankly, it further cemented her position as one of the best Housewives (and perhaps individuals) on reality TV. Even that big ol’ mook Rich knocked it out of the park in the human decency department as he quickly dismissed Rosie’s paranoia that he wouldn’t allow the kids near her if she were to come out as a lesbian. Those Wakiles — GOOD PEOPLE.
We then had the Manzos, who all headed off to Chicago for brother Jaime’s gay wedding. For reasons that are unclear to me, Teresa received an invite also, and while I imagine the allure of Teresa’s tackiness was to great for any gay couple to resist, methinks the real reason she was there was because Bravo bankrolled the wedding on the condition that she could come. That might explain all the scuttlebutt about how the wedding was put together so quickly that half the Manzo clan couldn’t make it. You know, for all the talk about family and loyalty with the Manzos, I found it rather abhorrent that pretty much none of Jaime’s siblings came to his wedding.
That includes Dina, who had always been a fan favorite, but now I must question her judgment. We finally learned the root of her feud with Caroline, which had something to do with Teresa saying that Caroline claimed she would undermine any opportunity that would come Dina’s way. Why Dina would believe this crazy bitch over her own sister is shocking, and the fact that she let this inanity come before her own brother’s wedding is full-on stupid. If Dina doesn’t reprioritize her friendships, I’m gonna mentally kick her to the curb like a stale cannoli (never one of Kathy’s cannolis though. Clearly they would all be eaten before they could grow stale. And that includes the giant cannoli that her little cannolis would inevitably arrive in. Am I really writing Kathy Wakile cannoli fan fiction?).
Speaking of Teresa, she continued to float through this episode assuming that everything was alright in the world because she had said sorry. Every week we have a new reason to hate this woman, and this time around, it came from her rejection of therapy. Despite his initial resistance, Joe Gorga decided that joint therapy with his sister might be a good thing; so he texted her as much, but of course Teresa refused to entertain the idea. SHE didn’t need therapy. Only he needed it. And he needed it with his wife. Yet again, this stupid woman has convinced herself that the problem is Melissa and not her. Actually, the real problem is the state of Paterson, NJ’s educational system, which led to a grown woman confusing “physical therapy” with regular “therapy.”
Later, after the wedding rehearsal, the Manzos, the Lauritas, Greg, and the Giudices all shared a party bus back to the hotel in Chicago. Joe Giudice — sweaty and drunk, as per usual — made the inevitable homophobic joke we’d been waiting for all episode. With a hearty chuckle, he commented that Greg probably had the loosest asshole on the bus. First of all, it wasn’t a particularly clever or funny joke. Second, coming from the mouth of a drunken alcoholic, it felt particularly sad. And third, it was just bad. Oddly enough, I’m sure Joe Gorga could have made the same joke, and we (including Greg) would have laughed it off. I suppose that’s because there’s a sense that it doesn’t come from a homophobic place with him. However, Joe Giudice with his history of casually dropping the f-bomb (the one that rhymes with maggot) and other gay slurs, simply can’t make the joke without sounding like a major douche. Besides, are we really supposed to believe Greg has the loosest asshole when it’s been Joe Giudice who’s spent all that time in jail? As Danielle Staub would say, “JUST SAYIN’.”
“Oh my gosh. SHE IS TRULY THE ANTICHRIST!”
“Awl I’m saying Teresa is that you shouldn’t worry about your brotha so much. Hows about this? Hows about we lube up our tits, drink some Sutter Home Companns, and then hit up TJ Maxx to find more of the these Diva glasses?”
“I am SO excited for this wedding! Quick question: what are the odds that the wedding cake is nothing more than egg whites and cocoa powder?”
“Wow, Teresa, this NannyCam footage of your kids is amazing. Oh look! There’s Milania slitting the neck of your mailman.”
“I was wondering what happened to that guy! Hahahhaa, kids these days.”
“Why, of ALL days, must I have an existential crisis now???”
“Milania, I want you to listen to me. If you make your nanny hang herself again, you will be GROUNDED!”
Kathy: “I want you to know that the Jersey Shore is about more than just partying. It’s about appreciating nature and the Na’vi way.”
“YO YO YO! WHERE MY BITCHEZ AT??”
“I applied to be on Jersey Shore, and this is where I wound up. Great.”
“Hey doggie, get away from me. You got real mental issues, you know? You should go to a dog physical therapist.”
Jaime: “I’m so sorry for inviting Teresa.”
“That drag queen better not ruin our wedding. Or our treehouse mansion.”
“Why am I the only one who dressed up like Katy Perry in the ‘Last Friday Night’ video?”
“Why am I the only one who dressed like Kathy Wakile from Real Housewives of New Jersey?”
“Oh my gawd! I can’t wait for me and Joe to DO IT in this tub!”
Kathy: “This is so fun! I feel like I’m at the Na’vi Festival of Nature and Life!”
Rich: “My boner is so big right now, I could impregnate Cliff Robinson if I wanted.”
Rosie: “Wait, before we take this to the next level, can we discuss your horrific tattoo?”
“I’M SO DRUNK!”
Joe: “This guy! Probably has the loosest butt out of all of yous on this bus! Hahaha, THIS GUY!!! Aw, I’m sorry Greggy. Let me give you a hug. But don’t get a boner or nuthin’! Hahaha, I’m just kidding. But you do have a queer asshole.”
Joe: “I ever tell you about the gayest thing I ever did? One time when I was a teenager, I got to talking to a friend about whose dick was bigger than whose, and then somehow we wound up taking our dicks out and showing them to each other.”
Greg: “Great.”
“And then I was like ‘I bet my dick tastes better than yours!’ and somehow we wound up giving each other blowjobs. Hahaha. Kids.”
“Whoa.”
“And then we were like ‘Let’s be REAL queer’ and as a joke I bent over, and he gave it to me up the ass. Horsing around, you know? Hahaha.”
“I think you had gay sex.”
“Nah. I was just a silly teenager. This never happened when I was in prison. Never, ever, ever, ever. My extreme emphasis means that I’m telling the truth. Haha give me a hug, you big queer.”
What did you think about this episode?
Ben, you’ve got this one wrong….just because Caroline says that’s the reason doesn’t make it so. I’ve been reading the exact opposite – the reason the wedding was so quickly pulled together is that Dina was going to have it on HGTV and Caroline instead went to Bravo with it…so the “interfering with business matters” might be accurate, but not who is doing the interfering.
Intriguing!!
Interesting! This makes alot of sense…..it’s common though: pimping out your brother’s wedding for your reality show by stealing the wedding from your sister’s competing reality show. Happens all the time.
But this does make sense why Tre was randomly there. If this is true, awful move on Carolyn’s part.
Teresa was there because she is friends with Jaime. Check out his twitter, they have friendly exchanges. Plus she was friends with Dina and Caroline, it makes sense that she would make friends with the other Laurita’s. I also agree that Dina must have had solid facts to be mad at Caroline, there is no way she would just take Teresa’s word for it and that’s it.
I also feel that most of this stuff that goes down on the tv show was concocted for the tv show. Even the things in the book Teresa wrote were just stupid and not really anything to get mad about. I think that Caroline is making a lot of nothing and maybe Dina sees that. I can also imagine Teresa being somewhat different off the show than on, and if you got Joe Guidice out of her life, she’d be home free.
Granted, she can be really obnoxious and annoying but so can all of these women, and I don’t think that Caroline really has anything to be that angry about.
The Katie Perry comparison is a total riot! Great recap. The Guidices repulse me like no others. Ick.
Great recap as always….love Rosie pulling up in that car and you just know that Milania was gonna jump all over that giant bed and throw her sister off of it as soon as she had the chance.
WTF is the architectural style of Jamie’s house?? Early 21st.century gingerbread house.It was horrible
lmao I know! Although the landscaping and gardens were soooo amazing, wtf was that house?
Caroline is getting a bad rap. truth is- she’s justified in her anger towards Tre and a victim in the fight between herself and Dina. There are 2 important behind the scenes incidents that clear things up.
1. Season 1 Dina had her dughter on the show which required a release from Dina and her ex. Dina forged her ex’s signature so Lexi could appear. Danielle got wind of it- informed the ex who threatened legal action. This put Bravo and Dina in a bad situtation. This is also what Caroline was so mysteriously referring to at the season 1 reunion (“you know whatyou did”) Since Dina’s current husband would not appear on the show and , now, her daughter couldn’t- Dina was cut.Also because she commited fraud and put Bravo at risk. Dina wanted Caroline and Jaq to refuse to come back without her. Obviously, they did not and now Dina isn’t speaking to either. Dina needs to get a grip and be glad her ass isn’t in jail.
2. It was well reported that in Puta Cana (last season) there was an incident in a bar where Tre sprayed some chamapne that got on other customers. A fight broke out and Caroline’s boys, among others, had to deal with the fallout from local law. There was an attempted cover up of this story and Tre never took responsibility- as usual
3. Regardless- If I was around someone as stupid and thick as Tre- I would probably be cranky as well.
How is it Teresa’s fault that Dina forged her ex’s signature?
How is it Teresa’s fault that Caroline’s derelict sons beat up some guy in Punta Cana just because Teresa accidently sprayed them with champagne?
That’s right! EVERYTHING is Teresa’s fault!
You can’t possibly believe that Dina is mad at Caroline because of something Teresa supposedly said. You think Caroline would let it end there? Please. As far as Caroline is concerned EVERYTHING is Teresa’s fault – including the fact that Albert got fired from his paying government position including but not limited to medical benefits that he held ONLY because HE LIED. Caroline being in menopause is Teresa’s fault too I suppose. And don’t forget Lauren wouldn’t be overweight if it weren’t for Teresa. Gas prices – also Teresa’s fault.
Prop 1 passed in NC… definitely Teresa’s fault.
These clowns blame everything on Teresa… it is truly comical.
“including the fact that Albert got fired from his paying government position including but not limited to medical benefits that he held ONLY because HE LIED. ”
Actually, he didn’t get fired. He got suspended by Gov. Christie )partly because Christie is smart enough to know hot to get free publicity when any opportunity arises), and since there were only a few weeks left to Manzo’s term at that time, he opted to resign. Also the alleged “fact” that HE LIED was not the ONLY reason he got the job. He got the job because the last governor appointed him to that job. Further, I’ve seen no evidence that he did indeed lie. Al Manzo has listed his apartment at the Brownstone as his main residence ever since the 1990s. His drivers license says Paterson. He has always voted in Paterson. His Paterson address is listed on his tax documents, etc. The man never denied that he also owns a residence in Franklin Lakes. As a commissioner, he filed a duel residency form, listing both of his homes. At that time, two independent investigators from the county elections office investigated him thoroughly and concluded that he did have a valid address in Paterson and had done absolutely nothing wrong. By the way, Manzo’s salary as water commissioner was only $7,500 per year, and that entire amount was donated to charity, so I doubt he was doing it for the money. And considering that the guy owns a sucessful and very profitable business, I’m going out on a limb and assuming that he already had health insurance, therefore it seems highly unlikely that he became a coimmissioner just for the meager health insurance benefits it offered him either.
I’m shecokd that I found this info so easily.
Who cares about Teresa ? She’s an idiot? And probably the worst out of all the housewives except for Taylor . They both need physical therapy
I tired of Caroline’s sermons from the mount last season, but this season I truly cannot stand her. Hearing her rambling justifications as to why all the Lauritas weren’t going to the wedding was ridiculous and just proved she’s the biggest hypocrite on Bravo. So tired of the Theresa blaming as well. Caroline has literally spoken of nothing else in her confessionals this season. At least Theresa is entertaining!
Joe Guidice is so repugnant. I dislike him so.
KIM D, PUT A DAMN SHIRT ON. I DO NOT WANT TO SEE THOSE THINGS!!
Joseph Wakile asking Rosie if she has gaydar had me laughing.
The Wakile kids are the only kind, compassionate and intelligent of all of the kids of these NJ Housewives. I think that says as much about the parents as it does the kids. I adore Kathy and believe that Caroline is jealous of Theresa’s being on Celebrity Apprentice, her cookbooks, her get up and go (considering her lack of cerebral matter). Jealousy, Caroline. Jealousy. And look at whom you are jealous? A monkey with a few more smarts but not much insight into herself…kind of like you. Except, she works much harder than you ever could or would.
And stop blaming Al’s side of the family for Lauren’s weight problem. YOU had one, too, as I remember it, didn’t you?
Short memories all…including me. Thank G-d!
Lauren got lap band surgery! I’m sure her family will still find something to make fun of her about.
I never understood why Tre had to give permission for Kathie and Melissa to be on the show or else she would be and has been pissed every since, I think the Gorgas and Wakiles have added some much needed personality to the show and Juicy Joe is harmless but only hears Tres side of a story, I don’t think he really knows she’s nuts.
That was kinda sweet when Juicy said he’d wished for a little boy or something like that when they lit the lanterns at the wedding……….?