Ding ding ding! Round Two of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills reunion commenced last night, and if last week was all about Lisa, this go-around, it was Brandi who took center stage. The spitfire continued to win over fans as she calmly called Taylor, Kyle, and Adrienne out on all their bullshit. It was at times cringe-worthy, but then again, when aren’t these reunion shows cringeworthy? Taylor did her best to sling the mud back, going as far as citing Brandi’s notorious tire-slashing of her ex’s car, but Brandi barely skipped a beat in owning up to the act, thus deflating any power Taylor thought she had.
Even better for Brandi, she now had an ally in fellow couch-mate Lisa, who still weathered a fare number of attacks from across the room. Lisa, however, remained cool as a cucumber, and it was Kyle, Taylor, and Adrienne who looked most foolish last night. Kyle’s only saving grace was owning up to her awful behavior on Game Night, but as admirable as this was, she still had a few excuses up her sleeve for her behavior. Meanwhile, Taylor relished the opportunity to take Brandi’s death threats seriously, taking her for task for saying “I will kill you” as if it were a serious pledge. Dumb. As for Camille, she once again came up smelling like roses as she reveled in her newfound popularity, gushed about her hunky boyfriend, and threw shade at Taylor repeatedly. Clearly, the Camille Couch was the place to be.
Photocap after the jump…
Andy: “Welcome back to the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills reunion! Let’s bring out Brandi Glanville!”
“You’re a bitch, you’re a bitch, and you’re a bitch.”
“Wow! Fun!!!”
“Andy, I think what Brandi’s trying to say is that Taylor’s a bitch.”
“They’re all bitches.”
“But mainly Taylor.”
“I can’t wait to write about this on m’Twitter!”
“Brandi, if I may make a fifteen-year old reference, you’re Angry Spice tonight.”
Adrienne: “Kyle, Kyle… let me handle this.”
“Oh this should be good.”
Adrienne: “I want all of you to know that Magica De Spell designed this dress, and it gives me the power to cast the spell of silence on Brandi.”
“Oh, I’d like to see you try.”
“I WASN’T TALKING TO YOU.”
“You weren’t talking to anyone.”
“In my head, I was having a lovely conversation with Lisa!”
“You’re crazy.”
“Adrienne’s wearing a wizard’s robe, and I’m the crazy one?”
“Well, I don’t think it’s a wizard’s robe. I mean, I know it was designed by Magica De Spell, but I think it’s more of a sorcerer housecoat or a peacoat of prestidigitation.”
“Kyle… Kyle… it’s a magic cloak. End of story.”
Andy: “Adrienne, is it true that your dress gives your left arm magic powers?”
“That’s what I’ve been told.”
“By whom?”
“Magica De Spell.”
“Wait. Isn’t that a character from DuckTales?“
“A-woo-oooh!”
“Yes, she is a close friend.”
“And she told you your sleeve will give you magic powers.”
“Yes. Huey, Dewey, and Louie agree. And so does Bernie.”
“Do you believe everything other people say?”
“Darling, they’re ducks, not people.”
Kyle: “Personally — Huey, Dewey, and Louie have never lied to me.”
“We do realize we’re talking about cartoons here, yes?”
“I don’t know about that.”
“Launchpad McQuack is HOT.”
“Launchpad is an asshole. I slashed the tires on his plane.”
“I BET YOU SLASHED THE TIRES ON HIS PLANE!”
“Yeah. I just said that.”
“Launchpad is actually a very close friend of mine, and he’s wonderful.”
“Adrienne, are you saying that Brandi is lying?”
“I think what Adrienne is saying is that–“
“Shhh… I have this, Kyle. What I’m saying is that I’ve heard Launchpad is a great pilot and a fantastic duck.”
“Wait, so do you actually know Launchpad?”
“No. This is just what I’ve heard.”
“The idea of Launchpad McQuack not being an asshole is about as believable as Adrienne not hearing something secondhand.”
“Hahahahhahaa best couch EVAR!”
“You shut your mouth, Camille! This woman invited you to her Halloween party!”
“It must have been good because she’s still in half of her costume.”
“I dressed like Bam-Bam for Halloween this year. But instead of a club, I just carried around a Wiffle Ball bat that said ‘Jackhole of the Week’ on it!”
“For Halloween, I dressed like a slut.”
Kyle: “That’s because you are a slut.”
Taylor: “What she said.”
“I wish I were a slut.”
“NO ONE IS SPEAKING TO YOU!”
“Actually, they were specifically speaking to me.”
“Taylor’s husband killed himself. Have some sympathy.”
“What does that have to do with anything?”
“Brandi. Brandi. Have some sympathy. He literally KILLED himself. Taylor drove him to DEATH. Be sympathetic.”
“I sent m’condolences.”
“Hey Taylor, when’s your book coming out? It’s been a hot minute.”
“It’s coming out as SOON as I figure out how to turn on my laptop.”
“You shouldn’t use laptops. They will burn the flesh off your lap.”
“I’ve never heard that.”
“Bernie told me. Must be true.”
“Why can’t you have my back, Camille?”
“I’ve never promised to have your back.”
“CAMILLE, Taylor’s husband literally HANGED HIMSELF. He is DEAD. Just try to be considerate.”
“Just so you all know, America loves me now and hates you Kyle; so… have fun with that.”
“I’m relatable. I go to Target.”
“I’m shocked they haven’t banned you with that temper of yours.”
“BOBBY FISHER!”
“Last time I went to Target I wound up in the stockroom with a husky salesperson named Emilio. He certainly found m’bullseye!”
“I bet Emilio didn’t have as many abs as my boyfriend.”
“Well, my husband is the hottest.”
“Hmmm. No. Dimitri is hotter.”
“You’re such a fucking liar, Camille!”
Adrienne: “Okay, Kyle, let me handle this. The hottest husband is Paul because he farts on camera and has a monkey face.”
“I like the sound of that! Gonna post a pic of Paul on m’Facebook!”
“Andy, my left arm has to go to gospel choir rehearsal. Can we wrap this up?”
“Yeah. I’m starving. I would kill someone for a sandwich.”
“OH REAL NICE, BRANDI! WAY TO THREATEN SOMEONE’S LIFE!”
“I didn’t mean I would literally KILL someone for a sandwich.”
“But didn’t you??”
“Yes. I would like to go to jail for homicide, all for a sandwich.”
“I rest my case!”
“You’re not a lawyer, but my HOT boyfriend is.”
“Well, your boyfriend isn’t as hot as Ace Young, who wrote a VERY lovely song for my daughter. If it weren’t for Ace, I never would have found my therapist.”
“How so?”
“Ace recommended a guy to clean my pool, and as it turns out that guy was Dr. Sophy. Who knew he was a poolboy AND a therapist?”
Lisa: “Girls, stop it. It’s rude to laugh. We’ll make fun of her at my house tonight over TEA.”
“Ooooooh! Gossip! I’ll bring m’jammies!”
What did you think about Part 2 of the reunion?
Oh Benny Benny Ben, I am Laughing M’ Ass Off! Especially Andy’s captions. Bless YOU!
Funny caps as always Taylor scares me, she is all passive then boom out comes her mean girl side, I mean bringing up Brandi’s ex?? What was that all about ? Will Taylor ever get past wearing the abused woman coat, I understand abuse, [been there done that] and what she has been through but mooooove on! and yeah the book came out pretty fast
Love Brandi!!
I loved the way Brandi handled Taylor, Kyle and Adrienne. She is refreshing compared to the backstabbing Adrienne.
Adrienne–oof! They can dump that tweaky gelfling any time now and I would not miss her in these shows/reunions.
Brandi owned those tires she put a knife into. I love this woman.
Taylor’s indignation that she would be harming women if she failed to release her book ASAP made me spit laugh. So how many women did she harm in the last 5 years (when she stated the abuse started) when she wasn’t publishing her book.??
Oh and apparently there are no British people in Oklahoma. (severe eye roll)
Kyle – the difference between sexy and slutty is that sexy is leaving something to the imagination while slutty is doing leg splits every chance you get.
hb
Adrienne’s dress has made the Housewive Hall of Fame as the stupidest thing ever worn. They should retire it and hang it on the set of Watch What Happens.
BranderPump …. Next seasons awesome alliance.
Also debatable Brandi is more famous then Eddie Cibrian and her show has better ratings!
How can Taylor’s book help abused women? They can’t buy that book and bring it home.
How is Taylor a role model for abused women? She stayed for over five years and took the abuse every six weeks or so for money. It is all about the money for her.
A role model would have left the abuser with her child and pride and started over. She disgusts me.
Her only redemption would to give ALL of the proceeds to a women’s shelter, to an actual shelter that actually helps women start over.
excuze the spelin
Every time I read one of your Andy Cohen-isms, I hear his voice in my head. That is truly something. The “bullseye” comment…I die.
I damn near died laughing with all of the Ducktales references. Quite a fond childhood memory that brought back.
Am I the only one who doesn’t blame Brandi in the least for texting someone else that Kyle is a C U Next Tuesday? I mean, I hated Brandi in the very beginning, but she’s easily moved up to my top three (with Camille and Lisa).
The only thing I can fault Brandi for is when she was explaining how Adrienne doesn’t like Lisa- because she heard it from someone who heard it from someone (the same way Adrienne was guilty of hearing anti-Bernie gossip from Lisa)
I also love how Brandi owns everything she does. She doesn’t backpedal or deflect like most everyone else. Andy also seemed to be truly enjoying her, like genuinely laughing at the things she said.
The “cliffhanger” implication at the end that Russell may have been murdered seemed ridiculous. I guess I’m out of the loop because I didn’t realize Taylor was now bearing the brunt of his financial problems, finding bank accounts in the Cayman Islands, etc.
At every reunion, the viewer questions are 99.9% so stupid, it never fails.
The other thing that struck me was how they kept saying how Taylor’s husband killed himself – but did they forget that she had filed for divorce?? I know legally they were still married, but it’s not like she walked into their bedroom and found him. And I am Team Brandi all the way in this, Taylor didn’t even let the body get cold before getting a book deal, and selling her abuse photos to Entertainment Tonight.
Race cars, Lasers, Aeroplanes…
So funny! I love the “m’ ” stuff Andy says. And how Adrienne is always trying to keep everyone else from talking so she can talk. I like Brandi so much better now than I did from the first part of the season. Keep up the photocaps – they make my day!
Taylor never denied Brandi’s accusation that Taylor encouraged Russell to send the threatening email to Camille. Watch the footage. She never denied it.
Also, when confronted by Brandi about writing a book about Russell and domestic violence A HOT MINUTE after Russell committed suicide, Taylor had some ridiculous rehearsed reply about the number of people who die a day due to domestic violence. That has nothing to do with Brandi’s point that Taylor rushed to get her book out during what should have been a devastating time for her (but you would not know it from her behavior.) Also, does Taylor fancy herself a savior of humanity to the point that her book needed to get out right away or else she’d have their lives on her conscience? I doubt that was the motivation behind writing the book.
Taylor trashed her dead husband numerous times and it was classless. She is a con artist of the highest order.
Loved Brandi because she’s onto all their bull and isn’t afraid to call them on it.
Just my thoughts here:
Taylor was actively involved as a volunteer for a domestic abuse shelter in season one, yet she didn’t know how to extricate herself from this situation? Really?
Watched her on WWHL and she was such a complete bitch regarding Brandi. She said she has a titanium mesh under her eye, why did the doctors NOT report this to the police?
She is one shady bitch and I hope her fifteen minutes are up quickly!
Tean Brandi, Camille and of course, my godess Lisa!
If you’re not going to be my friend at least…..buy my book. $17.99 at amazon.com!
Heehee. Tinkle in my pants!
Wishing there was a trapdoor under the Kyle/Adrienne/Taylor couch and at the end of the reunion they would disappear just like Madonna did at the Superbowl…..
Or maybe an anvil like in a road-runner cartoon.
I LOVE Brandi. I didn’t want to at the beginning of the season but she quickly became one of my favorites. She calls everyone on their BS and owns all of her bad behavior without missing a beat; slashed tires – Yep; accidentally text Kyle calling her a c*nt – Yep. I hope she’s back next season as a full-fledged cast member. She and Camille have been the only way I was able to stomach through scenes with Taylor.
i literally only watch the show to read your recaps. they are brilliant 🙂
The major point that really stood out to me, was when Camille was the only honest one to answer Andy’s question…..”should we have aired the season so soon after Russel’s suicide”. Her honesty was refreshing and her main point was in concern for Russel’s children. She seemed to be the only one that seemed to care how that would affect them in the future. Very classy of her.
Any loved Brandi’s honesty in calling out the others!!
peacoat of prestidigitation
Lol at Adrienne , Kyle I can handle this. ,,,, mmmm no you can’t mummy face. And to whoever above who said , if you can’t be my friend , buy my book for $ 17.99 that’s the funniest line I’ve heard anywhere!!!!!!!