The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills traded in the sunny shores of California for the snowy peaks of Colorado last night as the women all headed east for a weekend at Camille’s mountain home. As you can imagine, this led to our first triumphant ski-bunny montage in the history of the Housewives, but sadly, there were no bloopers in the pow-pow as all five of the “creaky beavers,” as Lisa called them survived the slopes at Beaver Creek.
Just because no one face planted in the snow (as I surely would have) didn’t mean we were lacking in entertainment. There were plenty of petty attacks and confrontations to keep the show moving, ultimately ending in yet another sad Taylor Armstrong moment that unfortunately foreshadows her husband’s terrible fate. Oy.
The big story this episode was that Bravo still seems intent on making Lisa VanderPump some sort of villainess. The producers have been throwing in several less-than-flattering moments, such as Lisa announcing her displeasure to us that none of the other women had complimented her on her fluffy, marshmallow-esque ski ensemble. It was a rather shallow tort, but it did absolutely nothing to change my opinion of Lisa, who still remains the best housewife ever, despite her multiple open-mouth smooches with Giggy. I’m still trying to weigh what’s more unsettling: that or Ken slurping the dog’s backwash. It all pales next to this though:
Nevertheless, Lisa seemed to spend much of the episode politely butting heads with Taylor. First there was an incident in a limo in which Kyle cheerfully rehashed all the therapy talk from Adrienne’s dinner party. A snippy Taylor noted that no one had asked for Ken’s opinion on the matter (wrong: all the women pressed him to clarify why he wouldn’t go to therapy), which caused Lisa to ultimately demand that Taylor have this argument with Ken and not her “END OF STORY.” Later, the two women found themselves in each other’s company yet again as they were the only ones awake. A frosty Lisa more or less ignored Tay-Tay as she silently wished other women would rescue them from the awkwardness. It was uncomfortable.
For all the unpleasant silence between Taylor and Lisa, there was plenty of chatting from the Richards’ sisters. Well, actually only Kim, who spent the whole episode yammering away about who knows what. She was chatty from the moment she arrived at LAX, and I’m fairly certain she didn’t shut up for the entire weekend. I genuinely felt bad for the other women who were stuck with her in that four hour limo ride to Camille’s house.
Speaking of Camille, she’s oddly likable this season, which I guess isn’t really that odd since I never truly thought she was the worst thing ever. Still, it’s super fun watching her take passive-aggressive digs at Kelsey, and if she can keep up the bitter, jilted ex-wife thing all season, she might become a favorite.
As for Adrienne, she didn’t do much this episode except have a silly, perhaps scripted argument with Paul about closing doors. She also managed to pack three huge suitcases for two days of ski fun. I’d like to see her cope on The Amazing Race. I suppose it’s tradition that these women pack like they’re headed out on the Northern Passage to Europe, no matter what the occasion.
Nevertheless, after some brisk action on the slopes, the episode came to a close with Taylor and Kyle enjoying a warm dip in the jacuzzi. The two got to talking, and once again Taylor semi-opened up about her marital woes. She expressed the difficulty she was having in letting go of her resentments and blamed herself for not ever using her voice (but perhaps if she used her voice, she wouldn’t have wound up in the marriage in the first place — hmmmm). Kyle gave some sound, pragmatic advice in suggesting that at a certain point, Taylor would have to move on from Russell (curious coming from the woman who a week ago said that one has to fight for a marriage to work tooth and nail). Nevertheless, I agreed with Kyle, and I’m sure I wasn’t the only one who didn’t feel just a touch uneasy when Taylor told us she was so afraid of being alone without her husband. I’m glad Bravo is leaving in these scenes, but man, they are downers…
Anyway, here’s the photocap:
“Mirror Mirror on the Wall. Who’s the Fairest Of Them All? … CAMILLE?????”
Kyle’s long lost tribute to The Witches of Eastwick.
“Oh cutie. I’m going to miss you! Now who’s ready for some tongue action??”
“I rather like this ensemble. It’s made from polar bear.”
Adrienne: “Oh. Great. YOU.”
“I’m scared to ski because I tore my meniscus last time I was on the slopes?”
Taylor: “Oh no. You land a jump wrong?”
“No. It was a hair tassel incident. I’d rather not get into it.”
“Do hurry up, girls. I have an Estonian spy I must poison in the executive lounge.”
Kim: “I need my time. Just hold your horses. Gosh, I love horses. When I was little I used to ride them. Mr. Disney would always tell me I looked pretty on horses. Black ones, white ones, brown ones. I loved the ones with the spots. I also like cows too. But you can’t ride a cow. I mean, I guess you could RIDE a cow, but it’s not as fun. I once milked a cow, and—“
Kyle: “Howdy partner. Two tickets to Denver!”
Kim: “I really love Denver. The air is so thin up there. It can be hard to breathe. Sometimes I’m like HUUUH HUUUUUH as I try to take in the air. My biggest fear is suffocating. Well, that and being eaten alive by snakes. I really don’t like snakes. Do you think there are snakes on the plane? Hahaha. Get it? I just made a joke because there was that movie a few years ago, and—“
Kyle: “So, Ms. VanderPump, care to take a tour of my lady ranch?”
Kim: “She’s talking about her beaver!”
“WHAT DO YOU MEAN WE’RE NOT STOPPING AT APPLEBEES???”
“Kim, did you just blow your nose in my organza?”
“I… I didn’t realize…”
“Hahahahhaa that is so funny! Almost as funny as my ex KELSEY GRAMMER’s abundant back hair!”
“Taylor, you have no idea how awkward this conversation is for everyone watching at home.”
“I just farted in the jacuzzi!”
What did you think about the episode?
I was shocked, SHOCKED, I tell you that they flew commercial. And it did seem to me that Kim’s constant chatter and 6th grade boy-craziness might have been chemically induced, if you know what I’m sayin’.
Really sad scene in the Jacuzzi. I know a lot of people see Taylor as the villaness in this whole saga, but I’m sorry I feel for her. If you listen to the 911 call the night they discovered his body, you can literally hear her heart breaking. What a horrific tragedy to endure…
I still am on Team Vanderpump. I would have fawned over her Dr. Zhivago outfit.
I guess Louboutin doesn’t make ski boots.
Kelsey is a bad kisser. Does this surprise anyone? He looks like he does a lot of things badly.
hb
I think Lisa sees Taylor as very needy and wont make a good friend for Kyle and she is right. I am waiting for Lisa to give Taylor a piece of her mind. I just hope they don’t edit something like that out because of the suicide.
I wonder what the point would be in editing Lisa to be unlikeable–because it’s kind of working on me. The snide remarks about Taylor, the pouting about no one commenting on her ski jacket, the semi gloating over getting the best room at Camille’s place. I don’t know. I’m just not liking her as much seeing this side of her. And the dog kisses and the way she calls Giggy sexy. Ew.
Feeling bad for Taylor because of what happened with Russell is one thing, but excusing her past behavior and current annoying-ness doesn’t really work. She is who she is and she’s not someone that I like, based on last season and even these two episodes. I can feel bad for her because of her current situation but this was filmed months ago. Maybe she’s changed now- which I doubt, seeing as she’s shopping around pictures of her abused face- but then she was still passive-aggressive, immature, and an asshat.
Totally agree. If she was abused, that is awful and I am sorry for her. But she still appears to be a selfish, manipulative, social climbing, sh*t-starter. I wouldn’t wish her situation on my worst enemy but I just can’t seem to like her. And, I think it is disgusting she is releasing those pictures now. Only confirms my negative perceptions of her.
What I don’t get about Taylor is that she said she didn’t call the police when he busted her face because of their daughter. But now for some reason she has no thought for the same daughter while shopping around a book to talk about domestic abuse AND showing her abuse pics to anyone and everyone. Don’t make sense to me.
I’m just going to flat out admit that I’m going to be a bitch here, because I don’t feel sorry for Taylor at all. She made her bed, now she has to lie in it.
Alice: Agree totally with you.
And Taylor is one fugly looking Auschwitz-looking survivor. Those horrible lips and that really ugly bone structure make ME want to pop her one.She is literally disgusting looking and I honestly feel that her outward appearance reflects her inward (lack of) soul.
So disingenuous of her to spill the beans now…no matter how much money she needs for Kennedy’s next birthday party or for her plastic surgery and Loubitans. To someday subject HER child and Russell’s other 2 kids to this just shows a lack of class. I say back to the trailer park and Off with her head!. Can’t stand her.
The whole Taylor story in my opinion is off the charts. On some blogs people have all kinds of conspiracy theories to explain away her black eye. Theories about how the bruise could have been made, it might be from plastic surgery, it might have been a fake photo, she might have done it to herself, her boyfriend might have done it and on and on it goes.
Can’t we bring this rhetoric down just a tad. Could it be possible that the truth is really just simple. Simply put, her husband gave her a black eye. Both of these two people have numerous shady things in their background including securities fraud and previous restraining orders. Let me put it out there that Taylor is very difficult to warm up to and I get that. But certainly if she was abused I can have compassion for her on that level. Abuse is a dirty little secret and secrecy is what keeps women down. It is not pretty and people don’t like looking at ugliness. I know because I lived abuse for 21 yrs. I don’t want another abused woman thinking she has to stay because no one will believe her. I really don’t know why I read these blogs sometimes because on this issue, it is difficut to hear some of the comments. It is hard when you have lived it but I feel the need to speak out on some level also. It just maks me sad. Sorry if I rambled but I have strong feelings on abuse.
Let’s face it Dani, Taylor didn’t stay in an abusive relationship because she didn’t think anyone would believe her. She stayed for the money, plain and simple.
I don’t claim to be an expert or even get that serious but I think domestic violence situations involve a lot more than staying with someone for money. I think that’s part of the whole deal, you get so mentally beat down you think you deserve what you get. Taylor does have a sketchy background but I think it does a disservice to claim she only stayed with him for the money.
A disservice to whom? Honestly, she married for money and she stayed for money. Women that stay with men that beat them are idiots. Plain and simple. If my husband ever laid a hand on me, he’d better made it a good one, because he’d NEVER get a second chance.
I have to agree, personality issues aside, unless you’ve been abused or are in an abusive relationship you simply don’t know how hard it actually is. Moreover, you may have no idea how you got dragged down such an ugly rat hole once you’re there. Abuse is perpetuated by silencing and secrecy, it’s still a taboo subject in our society and I have to say I agree with Dani.
Baseline here is we have to very dysfunctional individuals who found each other and the worst possible outcome happened. I am not saying I am a fan or, even like Taylor but no one, no living, breathing creature, deserves abuse.
And abuse begets abuse, in many instances.
Throwing a 60k birthday party and having so much plastic surgery, expensive clothing, not working and probably bugging him in private all the time for more, more more is abusive especially to a husband who is struggling to keep his wife UP with the Vanderpumps…Well, I really wish he would have left her before she left him. And with her anorexia, she could have been WEAK enough to fall and create that black eye all on her own.
Both of my sisters married batterers…and couldn’t hide the evidence. One of them was lucky in that her husband died of a heart attack at age 42 and the other one finally left. Neither had alot of self confidence, but they had friends and family in their corner and willing to call out the abusive husbands and be there for them.
Taylor apparantly had no one to whom she could run, because she probably didn’t have a rich sugar daddy in the peanut gallery. That would have motivated her to go….if it was as bad as she is now claiming.
Just looking at her makes me want to hurl. She looks like a stick figure with blow-up lips and nothing else on her face. All that’s necessary is the noose and scaffold. Sounds really cold of me, but I have no patience for this woman who has been lying and playing the victim now for too long.
Her daughter and Russell’s other 2 children will be the ones to suffer because of HER, not him! Shame shame on her.
You got it, Alice V. You’re taking the words right out of my mouth!
On the up side: The beautiful German Shepherd lives, was not traded in for a smaller model and was not turned into a Lisa Vanderpelt.
Downside: The Uncomfortable Limo dialog, the uncomfortable hot tub dialog, Camille getting the great edit again this week, Bravo turning Lisa into a villianess and next week’s highlights of Taylor sitting in a suitcase – very disturbing.
Dani, your comments are spot on. I can’t stand Taylor but some of the webamarks have gotten completely out of control, to the point that I can’t even read them anymore.
“completely out of control?” seriously? Perhaps the interwebz are the place for you.
*aren’t the place for you*
fixed.
Can someone please tell me WHY in the name of Andy Cohen the ladies were flying coach? The horror.
I believe they were in First Class. Today, it’s difficult to tell the difference, but they were in 2 seats, I believe and they only have 2 seats on each side in First. You can stop worrying now about the poor BH Housewives.
Must correct myself. There were 3 seats among each of them. It’s possible that there was no first class on that airline to the Punta Cana Airport. When I flew there, we flew into Santo Domingo (the capital) and they lost my luggage. I only had one suitcase and my hubby one.
I am crazy now. Punta Cana. Wrong Housewives. LOL. They are all starting to run into each other maybe. Gotta go. Men in white coats here. Bye Byeeeeeeeeeeeee.
Lisa has a very dry sense of humor ( remarks regarding her outfit should be seen as self depricating ), very British. She also doesn’t suffer fools lightly and is direct about it, this includes Taylor who is needy and snide. Just because her” soon to be ex-husband” took his own life, doesn’t mean she is now some saint and should be treated with kid gloves.
As a European immigrant I can only say that the hardest adjustment to make in this country was the fact that it is apparently impolite to state the truth directly. In my country being direct is a way of life, here it is construed as being bitchy. Whatever, Lisa is my favourite housewife ever.
Brigitte, it really depends on the person. I prefer the direct approach – and I agree with you on Lisa’s remarks. I took them as more self-depricating than bitchy.
You are right Alice, I should have said that many people do not like the direct approach instead of making a sweepieng statement. 🙂
sweeping
AMEN to you Brigette and I was born here. Honesty is shunned in America and I think that sucks!
Thank you, Bridgitte. Although I cannot believe that Kyle is growing on me and so too Camille.
Well yes women often do stay in abusive relationships due to the money issue. It is harder to get out if you have no resources. That wouldn’t surprise me at all.
I still love Lisa, no matter how they edit her. And I’m waiting for the crazy Camile to emerge. I know she’s in there some where. I’m glad she acting nicer this season, but she can’t change that much.
I feel badly for Taylor, for whatever reason why she stayed in her marriage, and no one really knows what goes on behind closed doors. That said, it is hard to watch her scenes, knowing what we now know.
Lastly, add me to the ones who can’t believe they flew coach! And a 4 hr. limo ride? Good heavens, where is Beaver Creek? No local airports?
Eagle County Airport (EGE)…about a 20-30 minute ride the Beaver Creek/Vail area. They must have gotten comped tickets on an airline that does not fly into that airport. OR they needed a nice, long limo ride so that they would have plenty of time to make catty, snide remarks.
I thought the driver said the road was closed and they had to go around. I think so anyway.
LOL and well said.
They flew coach into Denver instead of taking a flight (or Adrienne’s plane?) into Eagle. Those I-70 closures were announced weeks before they happened! I think the producers knew they could get some good drama out of a 4 hour drive.
Did they really ski or did they just get dressed up to do it? Because where they are standing is where the mini-gondola drops off the kids for the ski school slope. You ski for 2 minutes and you are back at the village.