BIG BROTHER PHOTOCAP: The Newbies Need A Helping Hand

It was a Sunday night episode of Big Brother, which meant it wasn’t quite as involved with the drama, but the intrigue with this season has been steadily building. The big news with Thursday’s eviction episode was that Kalia and Shelly voted with the veterans but neither one has ‘fessed up to it to their Newbie alliance. This has thus caused rampant paranoia — much along the lines of Eric’s America’s Player “hinky” votes did on season eight. And let me tell you something: paranoia in the Big Brother house is a beautiful thing.

As the Newbies gathered in the padded room after the eviction, they all tried to suss out the traitors, but like any good game of “Mafia,” it all whittled down to biases and body language, all of which served the Newbies miserably. Suspicion immediately fell on either Adam or Dom. Adam, because he had talked to the Vets extensively, and Dom, because he then walked guiltily out of the room just after Adam had admitted his ties with Dick et al.

And so we had two partners who thought the other one had sold out the alliance when in fact both were totally innocent.

Brilliant!

Even better, both Adam and Dom felt like they had been cut adrift in the game; so what did they do? They both attempted to cut deals with the Vets. Adam and Dom both separately swore their allegiances to Jeff and Jordan, but the power couple was wary of both. After all, Adam had deceived them once prior, and Dom seemed like too much of a gamer to be trusted.

Dom may have the edge though because he then set his gaze on Daniele Donato, with whom he began the flirting game. With her on his side, he could get the extra boost he needs to push Adam out of the house because, oh yeah, they were both nominated by the end of the episode.

This was a major coup for Cassi, who just narrowly avoided going on the block. She seems to now be at the center of a brewing catfight between her, Rachel, and Porshe. It’s still in its infancy, but sooner or later, the claws will come out, and we’ll have our first knock-down, drag-out scream-fest of the season, and it will all be courtesy of these women. As a refresher, Cassi doesn’t like Porsche because she sees her as a traitor. Rachel doesn’t like Cassi because she voted against Porsche. And Porsche doesn’t like Cassi because Rachel told her that Cassi doesn’t like her. It’s a miracle that Cassi avoided the eviction seat this week, but I guess she can thank not having pissed off Jordan for that.

I’m just hopeful Cassi doesn’t get backdoored or anything so that she can win HoH and begin a reign of terror on Brenchel. That’s when the sparks will truly fire. Of course, Brendon might be able to save his lady if he dons his superhero costume again. I wasn’t sure what that little bit of tomfoolery was about, but it involved a lot of bulges and a lot of Booki.

Later in the episode, the teams had to slither around in ant costumes for the Have-Have-Nots competition, which led to our second week of homoerotic, sodomy-tastic imagery. Brenchel managed to take the win while Kalia suffered a shoulder injury that necessitated a visit from the set medic. Turns out she was fine, but I couldn’t help feeling a touch of claustrophobia as she lay there in a pipe with Lawon stuck on top of her. It was rather horrific, and I couldn’t understand why Lawon wasn’t on the bottom. Surely that is a position he’s comfortable with, yes?

Anyway, here are some pics from the episode:

“Ain’t no one coming between me and MY beanie!”

“Oh I am MAD! I. AM. MAD! I did NOT dress up in FERN colors to not be asked about my CAH-RAZY outfit by Julie!”

“I mean, LOOK. I’m wearing a novelty bow tie! Isn’t that just OUTRAGEOUS?? I BEST be America’s new favorite gay now!”

“Porsche, I see something in your that I like. A certain LUXURIOUS quality. Like you’re a VIP. But at the same time, you’re quite SERVILE.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I… I’m a spinster. I don’t live a luxurious lifestyle such as one afforded to a VIP Waitress, WHICH I MOST CERTAINLY AM NOT!”

“Hey dishes, y’all ready for DOUBLE TROUBLE???”

“Captain Booki has arrived!”

“America, do you want a hug?”

“This turtle orders America to hug Captain Booki!”

“Whoa. This here is CAH-RAY-ZEE!!! (That’s all I’m gonna say from now on).”

“C’mon, Dom. Give me a hug. Don’t run away. Hug!”

“Take my hand. Together, we shall hug for hours.”

“Please?”

Dominic: “How about instead I just do this annoying dance I’ve been doing everyday?”

“This hammock keeps swinging. It’s not FAIR!!!”

“So what do you think about us working together?”

“Why do I always have to be the one who gets immunity and has people wanting to work with her to advance her game? It’s not FAAAAAIR!!!!”

Brendon: “Strapped into a reverse hug position? I like this game already!”

Kalia: “Ohmygosh. This is like the time Carrie and Big fell in the pond in Central Park. Ugh, I am SO Carrie!”

Lawon: “Whoa. This here is CAH-RAY-ZEE!!!”

“Brendon, you said you were going to hug me, not anal rape me!”
“Baby, if you don’t let me do this to you right now, I don’t know where our relationship stands.”
“But BOOKI!”
“Don’t demasculinate me.”
“Okay Booki.”

Rachel: “Good job, Booki!”
“This is nice. It’s like a face hug.”

“GET OFF ME! I’M IN PAIN!!”
“What’s wrong?”
“I just remembered the outfit you wore on Thursday. IT’S BRINGING ME PHYSICAL PAIN.”

“With these Clark Kent glasses, they’ll never detect my LUXURIOUS VIP cocktail waitress lifestyle!”

“There’s a hole in my jeans. It’s not FAIR!!!”

“Oooh, a key. I wonder if this will start my car?”

Daniele: “I guess I’ll just sit here and not participate in the nomination ceremony. I hate being safe! IT’S NOT FAAAAIIIIR!!!”
Porsche: “How strange for me to be sitting at a table instead of serving one. Not that I’m a server, or a LUXURIOUS VIP one at that, WHICH I’M NOT!”

What did you think about the episode?