This video is hilarious, and not just because it shows a woman so busy texting that she actually FALLS into a mall fountain. No, what’s hilarious about it is that this idiot now wants to sue the mall because no one came to her aid. “The fountain could have been empty… I could have been in the hospital… I could have walked into a bus; got hit by a car,” says Cathy Cruz Marrero, who seems happy to assign doomsday blame for her own stupidity. And speaking of stupidity, in case a) falling into a mall fountain and b) blaming the mall for it wasn’t stupid enough, Cathy Cruz Marrero wins the hat trick for idiocy by going on Good Morning America and exposing her dumb face to MILLIONS. Did she not realize that no one — absolutely no one — would have recognized her face or body from the grainy security cam footage in the original viral video? Bitch should have run home, spoken to no one, and locked herself in a room with a blow dryer. Then, worst case scenario: deny deny deny.

OR she could have done what the rest of us would have done: laughed at her own stupidity and milked it for a good status update and Tweet or two. I’m just spitballing, but I think “OMG you GUYZ, I just fell into a fountain at the mall. #FML!” would probably do the trick. Maybe even a “Who puts a fountain in a mall anyway? #GirlBye” too. There’s a whole world of possibilities for Cathy Cruz Marrero, and she most certainly took the worst route EVER. On the plus side, it is nice to point to someone new and say “That’s what’s wrong with America.” Really, on so many levels.

Big props to George Stephanopoulos for making it through the interview without cracking up.

In case the higher quality YouTube video above comes down, the official ABC News video is after the jump…

15 replies on “Woman Falls Into A Mall Fountain, And That’s Her Least Humiliating Problem”

  1. I love how they kept showing the video of her falling in, complete with hysterical laughter in the background, while she was lamenting. I agree with you. She should have just shut her mouth and went home!! Why on earth would you lay claim to that on national tv???!!!

  2. I was unaware that I could sue people for my own stupidity. I’m going to be ROLLING in it.

  3. Hearing security laugh was perfect, I can imagine the stuff that they see, but her suing the Mall where she works?? Its not like it was her 1st time there, see how stupid people can be.

    I would have dragged my soggy ass to a bench and laughed about it, I mean someone other than a security camera had to see it.

  4. “I was so embarrassed. I hoped no one saw me fall in. And then I went on ‘Good Morning America’ and told the entire world that that was me.”

    ???? That made sense to her???

  5. This woman is a dumbass. And as a bonus, it also turns out she’s a criminal! The ABC News article that goes along with that video has the whole rundown of her “retail theft” and hit-and-run issues.

    Hows about the mall arrest her for cavorting in its fountain? I’m sure it’s posted somewhere that patrons are to stay out of the water, no?

  6. The latest is that she’s in a world of trouble with identity theft and stealing from stores. She opened up a can of worms with her lawyer in tow.

  7. I would’ve laughed at myself on this one. lol

    You’re right: no one knew it was her until she came out to sue!

    1. If I had fallen into the fountain while texting, I would have considered that one of the best days of my life because I would have a hilarious story to entertain my friends with. I would have been happy that someone caught it on tape because visual aids always adds so much to a story.

  8. She’s a crook. A stupid one too especially to bring on all this attention to herself. She probably thought she could score big with her dip in the mall pool.

  9. This lady is a huge fuckstick. If she was so embarrassed then why the hell did she show up on television. Also I did know that you can also sue people for not calling you to ask if you are okay. These people are just grasping at straws. Trying to sue someone for posting the video to youtube when you can’t even tell that it is her. Her nephew probably knew it was her because she told her family the story. If she didn’t show up on Good Morning America she would have just been known as the dumbass who fell into a fountain, now she the dumb cunt who is trying to sue the mall for her own stupidity.

    And shame on Good Morning America for turning this into a news story. They really scraped the lowest bottom of the barrel. Way to continue encouraging stupid people to blame others and to think they can make a profit off of their stupid ways.

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