It’s been a few weeks since I did a Survivor photocap, and quite frankly it’s only because I’ve been lazy. Utterly lazy. That being said, Survivor Nicaragua has been heating up lately. I’ve had some discussions with friends recently who have derided this season, with some going so far as to say it’s been one of the very worst. I highly disagree. While it’s not the best, it’s certainly been entertaining; although, admittedly, there was a little lull in the post Jimmy Johnson / Jimmy T era.
Things lately have been getting all sorts of screwy on the show. It actually reminds me of the bonkers Casaya tribe on Survivor: Panama (right next door geographically, coincidentally) which saw so many bizarre power shifts thanks to everyone being totally nuts (ie. Shane, Courtney, Danielle). The same thing’s going on here in Nicaragua. Between kooky Holly, gritty Jane, cagey Shane, wacky Naonka, goofy Fabio, grumpy Dan, and surly Benry, this tribe is a mess, with alliances shifting so wildly, I honestly can’t even keep up anymore.
Going into this week’s episode, the tribe was split in two factions: Team Jane (Jane, Holly, NaOnka, Chase) and Team Marty (Marty, Benry, Jud, Dan). In the middle were Sash and Brenda — and oh yeah, Purple Kelly, who continues to be a silent threat (minus the threat). Seriously, what is up with Purple Kelly? And why do they keep calling her Purple Kelly now that the other Kelly is gone? And why does she never wear purple? I just don’t get her. And when at the end of this week’s episode she cast the lone rogue vote for Benry, I couldn’t help but laugh and shake my head: oh Purple Kelly. Will you ever learn?
Nevertheless, with Team Jane and Team Marty firmly in place, Sash and Brenda drew a line in the sand and joined the Janers, getting rid of Marty in the process. It was exciting and fun, but I knew that for the next few weeks, we’d have to just sit there and watch the Janes pick off the Martys. Imagine my surprise then when this week’s ep opened up with Holly and Benry kicking their alliances to the side and realizing that they had to work together to dethrone Sash and Brenda (the respective queen and king of the game, according to Brenda).
I wish I could explain to you clearly how it all shook out over the episode, but it was so frantic and over the map that it was hard to follow at times. You see, Holly started getting her ducks in a row, including NaOnka who flopped on Brenda pretty easily. Holly’s first mistake, however, was approaching Chase, who is widely known as Brenda’s biggest lapdog. Holly let him know about the plan, and then of course he told Brenda. Luckily for Holly, Brenda had a very laissez-faire approach to retaliation — as in, she didn’t really do it. Instead, she and Chase set their eyes on Benry.
While they trained their ire on Benry, the rest of the gang chatted about how they couldn’t trust Chase at all… and yet that didn’t stop NaOnka and Holly AGAIN from going up to him and talking strategy. Even stranger was that NaOnka spilled the plan to Sash, who is also widely known to be Brenda’s right-hand man. I mean, if you’re trying to get out Sash and Brenda, and one of them has an idol, why let them in on the scheme? I think maybe NaOnka wanted Sash to join her? I’m not sure. All I know is that suddenly NaOnka got blamed for starting up this whole shitstorm, and so Brenda began targeting her at Tribal Council. It was all a mess. But in the end, Brenda opted to play it cool and seem like she was in control, perhaps assuming her minions would do her dirty work. However, they didn’t, and pretty much everyone (including Sash) voted her out. Oh, and Purple Kelly voted for Benry.
I wasn’t sure why Brenda didn’t play Sash’s idol. I just have to imagine that he didn’t want to part with it. Either way, she had been a great player but like many great players in the past, hubris got the best of her. All Brenda had to do was start some story around camp about how Benry wanted NaOnka out or vice versa. Her inability to get down and dirty is what did her in, and now once again the tribe is left without a major player. This leaves only Sash as the prime strategist, but who knows how that’ll go. It looks like we’re just gonna have a bunch of chickens with their heads cut off running around camp — and hey, I’m down with that. Let the craziness continue!
p.s. I love Jane.
Holly: “You wanna lick my finger?”
Benry: “Me want! Me want!”
“I just shat in this barrel.”
“I kind of have to go to the bathroom. Maybe I should ask Brenda first.”
“What a disaster! Who would have thought if we surrounded a campfire with large wooden objects that they would catch on fire from the aforementioned fire that was mere inches away???”
“Oh no! Everything burned down! Our rice! Our flour! Sash’s twig dolls of Cher and Christina Aguilera!”
“As the biggest bachelor in Manhattan, I can say that I’ve never seen such a flaming mess.”
“OMG, I can’t wait to see this on TV. I’m going to have sooooooo much airtime!”
“Hey guys, if this volcano erupts, do you think we’ll survive? I mean, we’re playing Survivor, you know?”
“Seriously, Chase, just tie Benry up to a stump, bend him over, and I’ll do the hell out of him.”
Jeff: “Dig deep! Find the strength that you know is in you! A million dollars on the line! You can DO IT!! Except you, Danny. You’re worthless.”
Jeff: “Purple Kelly, does it bother you that we put you on the turquoise peg? MWHWAHAHAHAHA!!!”
“Yup, I could stay up here forever.”
Brenda: “You should drop.”
“I could stay up here longer than a pickled goose on a frying pan.”
“Just a country sayin’, Jeff. Like riding a donkey to a ferris wheel in the middle of a pudding storm.”
Chase: “I kind of like this driftwood. What do you think?”
Brenda: “I hate it.”
“Yeah, me too.”
“God, Chase is a pussy.”
“You know what I feel like doing? Sittin’. Man, I love sittin’.”
“Jeff, I’m not going to scramble. If you scramble, it shows you’re desperate. I’m just going to sit back and be fine. Because, you know, that works.”
“OMG, I just realized I’m an actually player in this game! I thought I was interning for Mark Burnett!”
What did you think about the episode? How do you think this will all shake out?