Sad news: Survivor hit us with the old switcheroo last night, which meant the young vs. old showdown was officially put to rest. This bummed me out as I kind of loved the rivalry, even if the young chaps seemed to be demolishing their elder opponents. Clearly the producers wanted to halt the bloodbath before it got too ridiculous, but I think they should have kept it going a few more weeks. Maybe the old folk would have gotten their act together. Oh, who am I kidding? They were a disaster of a tribe, and not because they were at a physical disadvantage. Their real problem was that they were a disorganized mess. With raging egos like dearly departed Jimmy T or self-interesting schemers like Marty, there’s no way this tribe could truly act as a unit. Heck, they kicked off the most accomplished leader of all with Jimmy Johnson. Not a lot of brain power going on there — could we really expect them to come out victorious in the competitions?
Of course, the youngsters don’t have oodles of brain power either. Between Fabio and NaOnka, there’s not a whole lot of high level thinking going on. However, the kids seem to have their act together. That’s why they were so bummed when they had to give up NaOnka, Alina, Chase, and Benry to the other tribe (and received Marty, Jill, and Jane — who I love — in return). Yes, our old tribes said goodbye — as did the bombastically named MEDALLION OF POWER, which clearly was just around to give the old folk a leg up from time to time. I can’t say I’ll miss it much.
Anyway, on his new tribe, Marty set about sowing his arrogant seeds again, going so far as to reveal his hidden immunity idol (I wonder how Jill felt about that). I don’t know what he thought he’d gain by showing his trump card, but I think one thing’s for sure: Marty’s gonna get blindsided. And I hope he does. The guy gives me the heebee jeebies. He’s not like Russell who is fun to watch in all his awfulness. Marty’s just a creep — the type who’ll stab you in the back five times over as he ascends the corporate ladder. Nevertheless, I must give credit where credit is due: aside from the immunity idol reveal, Marty has played a smart game. He’s lucky, however, that his team won the Immunity Challenge (which featured a strange waterwheel / spitting twist that reminded me of some rejected competition from The Real World / Road Rules Challenge). I guarantee that had Marty’s tribe headed to Tribal Council, he would have gone home.
Instead, it was the other group that needed to kick someone off the island. At first it seemed like NaOnka would be a prime candidate after she broke down during a torrential downpour. However, after a lovely personal moment with Chase (seriously, who else got slightly misty eyed?), NaOnka seemed to get her head back in the game, which meant that the tribe’s wrath could now focus on Tyrone. Up until now, Tyrone had been totally likable, but as the leader of the new tribe, he began to rub people the wrong way. Plus, he committed the gravest sin of all: he ate more chicken than anyone else. There’s nothing worse than being a food hoarder. Just ask Kel from Outback or Clarence from Africa or James from Fans vs. Favorites. Once the tribe sense you’ve been greedy, it’s over.
Sure enough, after a rather uneventful Tribal Council, Tyrone got the axe. Never eat too much chicken, folks. Here’s the photocap:
“I would like to apologize in advance for something: I put arsenic in all your canteens.”
“Damn, I miss my PBS! How am I supposed to watch The News Hour out here??”
Brenda: “WE have to swap with THEM??”
Other girl: “And who am I anyway? Have I always been on the show??”
“Me? Psychotic? Would a psycho have hair like this? I rest my point.”
“I don’t know about you guys, but I’m totally having a PLINKOgasm.”
“I’m totally in control of this tribe. See those branches behind me? They totally do whatever I tell them to do.”
Brenda: “Welcome to our tribe! This is Fabio–“
“I don’t know why we call him Fabio, but we do. Oh, and this is Sash.”
Sash: “Hey, guuurl. Love your shoes. Let me tell you about all the HOT PUSSY I get in Manhattan!”
“It’s true, you know. Sometimes you DO feel like a nut, and sometimes you don’t.”
“Let’s make a deal: I won’t steal your shoes, and you won’t steal my shoes.”
“Great! Just warning you though — I already threw your shoes in the ocean. I am so sorry.”
“I hereby declare this tree branch a Knight of the Highest Order. Be loyal of hand and of mouth, Tree Branch, and seek to serve every man as best ye may. Seek ye the fellowship of good men, hearken unto their words and remember them.”
“What? Who says I’m arrogant? Just because I’m brazen enough to tell you about my hidden immunity and think you won’t try to blindside me doesn’t mean I’m arrogant! Just stupid.”
“So do you want a hug or no??”
“Mark this moment, people: high point of my life.”
“This is actually how I motivate my swim students: I dive into the pool, take in as much water as I can, and then spit on their faces. Of course, I do it to them when they’re sitting in math class; so it’s always a little awkward.”
“Everyone be conscious of your neighbor… and make sure you always take MORE than them!”
“Don’t mind me. I’m just going to eat all the chicken. And as we all know, hogging food has never sent anyone home…”
“What’re you talkin’ about, saying my shirt is ripped. You crazy.”
“Be conscious of your neighbors, Jeff.”
“What do you mean?”
“Just be conscious of them.”
“I don’t have to worry about my neighbors.”
“Sounds like you’re not being very conscious of them.”
“There’s nothing to be conscious of.”
“Yes, there is.”
“What? What do I have to be conscious of?”
“Okay, that’s enough.”
“Did you ask your neighbors if it’s enough?”
“I don’t have to.”
“Sounds like you’re not being conscious of your neighbors.”
What did you think about the episode?