Sad news: Survivor hit us with the old switcheroo last night, which meant the young vs. old showdown was officially put to rest. This bummed me out as I kind of loved the rivalry, even if the young chaps seemed to be demolishing their elder opponents. Clearly the producers wanted to halt the bloodbath before it got too ridiculous, but I think they should have kept it going a few more weeks. Maybe the old folk would have gotten their act together. Oh, who am I kidding? They were a disaster of a tribe, and not because they were at a physical disadvantage. Their real problem was that they were a disorganized mess. With raging egos like dearly departed Jimmy T or self-interesting schemers like Marty, there’s no way this tribe could truly act as a unit. Heck, they kicked off the most accomplished leader of all with Jimmy Johnson. Not a lot of brain power going on there — could we really expect them to come out victorious in the competitions?

Of course, the youngsters don’t have oodles of brain power either. Between Fabio and NaOnka, there’s not a whole lot of high level thinking going on. However, the kids seem to have their act together. That’s why they were so bummed when they had to give up NaOnka, Alina, Chase, and Benry to the other tribe (and received Marty, Jill, and Jane — who I love — in return). Yes, our old tribes said goodbye — as did the bombastically named MEDALLION OF POWER, which clearly was just around to give the old folk a leg up from time to time. I can’t say I’ll miss it much.

Anyway, on his new tribe, Marty set about sowing his arrogant seeds again, going so far as to reveal his hidden immunity idol (I wonder how Jill felt about that). I don’t know what he thought he’d gain by showing his trump card, but I think one thing’s for sure: Marty’s gonna get blindsided. And I hope he does. The guy gives me the heebee jeebies. He’s not like Russell who is fun to watch in all his awfulness. Marty’s just a creep — the type who’ll stab you in the back five times over as he ascends the corporate ladder. Nevertheless, I must give credit where credit is due: aside from the immunity idol reveal, Marty has played a smart game. He’s lucky, however, that his team won the Immunity Challenge (which featured a strange waterwheel / spitting twist that reminded me of some rejected competition from The Real World / Road Rules Challenge). I guarantee that had Marty’s tribe headed to Tribal Council, he would have gone home.

Instead, it was the other group that needed to kick someone off the island. At first it seemed like NaOnka would be a prime candidate after she broke down during a torrential downpour. However, after a lovely personal moment with Chase (seriously, who else got slightly misty eyed?), NaOnka seemed to get her head back in the game, which meant that the tribe’s wrath could now focus on Tyrone. Up until now, Tyrone had been totally likable, but as the leader of the new tribe, he began to rub people the wrong way. Plus, he committed the gravest sin of all: he ate more chicken than anyone else. There’s nothing worse than being a food hoarder. Just ask Kel from Outback or Clarence from Africa or James from Fans vs. Favorites. Once the tribe sense you’ve been greedy, it’s over.

Sure enough, after a rather uneventful Tribal Council, Tyrone got the axe. Never eat too much chicken, folks. Here’s the photocap:

“I would like to apologize in advance for something: I put arsenic in all your canteens.”

“Damn, I miss my PBS! How am I supposed to watch The News Hour out here??”

Brenda: “WE have to swap with THEM??”
Other girl: “And who am I anyway? Have I always been on the show??”

“Me? Psychotic? Would a psycho have hair like this? I rest my point.”

“I don’t know about you guys, but I’m totally having a PLINKOgasm.”

“I’m totally in control of this tribe. See those branches behind me? They totally do whatever I tell them to do.”

Brenda: “Welcome to our tribe! This is Fabio–“
Fabio: “Hey.”
“I don’t know why we call him Fabio, but we do. Oh, and this is Sash.”
Sash: “Hey, guuurl. Love your shoes. Let me tell you about all the HOT PUSSY I get in Manhattan!”

“It’s true, you know. Sometimes you DO feel like a nut, and sometimes you don’t.”

“Let’s make a deal: I won’t steal your shoes, and you won’t steal my shoes.”
“Great! Just warning you though — I already threw your shoes in the ocean. I am so sorry.”

“I hereby declare this tree branch a Knight of the Highest Order. Be loyal of hand and of mouth, Tree Branch, and seek to serve every man as best ye may. Seek ye the fellowship of good men, hearken unto their words and remember them.”

“What? Who says I’m arrogant? Just because I’m brazen enough to tell you about my hidden immunity and think you won’t try to blindside me doesn’t mean I’m arrogant! Just stupid.”

“So do you want a hug or no??”

“Mark this moment, people: high point of my life.”

“This is actually how I motivate my swim students: I dive into the pool, take in as much water as I can, and then spit on their faces. Of course, I do it to them when they’re sitting in math class; so it’s always a little awkward.”

“Everyone be conscious of your neighbor… and make sure you always take MORE than them!”

“Don’t mind me. I’m just going to eat all the chicken. And as we all know, hogging food has never sent anyone home…”

“What’re you talkin’ about, saying my shirt is ripped. You crazy.”

“Be conscious of your neighbors, Jeff.”
“What do you mean?”
“Just be conscious of them.”
“I don’t have to worry about my neighbors.”
“Sounds like you’re not being very conscious of them.”
“There’s nothing to be conscious of.”
“Yes, there is.”
“What? What do I have to be conscious of?”
“Your neighbors.”
“Okay, that’s enough.”
“Did you ask your neighbors if it’s enough?”
“I don’t have to.”
“Sounds like you’re not being conscious of your neighbors.”
“Just go.”

What did you think about the episode?

10 replies on “SURVIVOR PHOTOCAP: Spit, Don’t Swallow”

  1. As Tyrone explained today, on another website, he was eating the dregs, he did not rush in to scoop up food, he ate after they all did, and ate the crap on the bones, it was all editing.
    I like Marty, Brenda, and lurrvvve chase. Naonka got me to hate her a little bit less last night.

  2. I hate Marty and Naonka, and like Jane, Chase and even crazy Holly. The spitting water challenge was a doozy! Too bad that Espeda couldn’t pull it out. I hated to see Tyrone go, but it was understandable after his leadership actions. I think that Brenda will be the one to take him down.

    btw B- shouldn’t you have said “sowing” the seeds?

  3. I love when Probst is an ass. Like when he asked Benry if it’s easy to make a target of someone who is feeling weak and wants to quit, even if they seem better now and Benry does that “i don’t want what you mean Jeff.” Then Probst shakes his head and says “I don’t believe you don’t know.”
    Oh come on Probst – just yell “LIAR.!!”


  4. Marty is the most annoying kind of moron of all — the kind of moron who thinks he’s a genius. Showing “his” HI (hey, wasn’t it his & Jill’s?) was just about the dumbest move in Survivor history since the “hero” tribe gave Russel the a$$hat their HI. But dumber than Marty is Jill who told him where to find the HI — she should have kept her mouth and found it herself, but she has proven she is too stupid to think for herself and follows Marty around like a puppy (ie — going along with him to vote of Jimmy J — the main fisherman of the tribe who fed them; and Jimmy T — a loudmouth but strong, over Dan who is limping around like an 90 year old man). And what was Marty’s “great genius strategy” in voting out the strong players? Jealousy of Jimmy J. for being 10x the man he is, and jealousy of Jimmy T for calling him out on his b.s. I mean, Jimmy T didn’t do himself any favors by being a loudmouth, but he pulled his weight around camp & the challenges and he really seemed like a good (if obnoxious) guy.
    Best case karma scenario for Jill & Marty is: (1) Marty uses the HI to save himself at Jill’s expense (that will teach her to keep her mouth shut) and (2) Marty is the first boot once his HI is played in a total blindside by the others. That should show both of them how “smart” they really are.
    NaOnka only seemed slightly more likable because she didn’t have Kelly B.’s leg to obssess on — I wish Alina had told her to go eff herself when she was bitching and moaning about the rain. Who is the “weak” one now, NaOnka?

  5. What kind of strategy is the old Espada using now? They had even numbers 4/4 and they voted off one of their own thus giving the Young team transplants the numbers for the future. The young kids already have the numbers for the other team so me thinks they screwed themselves. Even though Holly said she would vote with the kids – if the older folks would have rallied they could have voted of Nay who needed to be gone days ago for being an asshat.

    These people are stupid – Tyrone might have been a blowhard but they need him for challenges. This season is certainly entertaining but my god – anyone else yelling at the tv screen?

    1. To answer your question, jelliepair, YES. They are stupid and either have watched enough Survivors to make them cocky and think they know it all, or haven’t watched at all so they don’t know the strategy of keeping your team strong until the merge.

  6. that’s what i was telling my dad about tyrone and the chicken, but he was having a heart attack that tyrone took all the chicken…


    omg. i think he was upset that the older black gentleman would do that as *he* wouldn’t do that as an older black gentleman. lol.

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