Sorry I’m a bit behind on my Real Housewives of Beverly Hills coverage. Fear not: it’s not a reflection of my feelings towards them because I can assure you that I love them dearly. This installment in the franchise has been nothing but hilarious so far, which is no real surprise: I mean, the show follows half a dozen women with faces so tight their skin probably squeezes their brains into tiny, crescent-shaped masses. No wonder they’re all a bit insane. For the record, I’m convinced that my brain is a tiny, crescent-shaped mass, and I haven’t even had cosmetic surgery. The good news is that several of these ladies are eminently likable (Lisa, e.g.) or at least affable (Taylor, e.g.). The Richards sisters, of course, are out of their minds, but that should be no shock to anyone who has a vague knowledge of how child actors turn out — especially when they have nieces who are considerably more famous than they are. And then we have Adrienne Maloof, who looks like she chews up and shits out ten men a day. That includes her simian husband who spent much of last week’s episode trailing around his wife like a lost puppy-dog (assuming that puppy-dog had undergone a face-lift or two. Male plastic surgery = not good).
Anyway, I must admit that I was drunk when I watched the latest episode; so my memory of it is vague: the sisters fought, Paul clung on to Adrienne, the sisters fought some more, Lisa bought a chocolate bunny, Taylor tried on clothes for some reason, the sisters fought some more, Camille met with a gay, Taylor met with Brody Jenner’s mom, Brody Jenner’s mom said something about Africa, Taylor smiled at Brody Jenner’s mom, and finally, the sisters fought. That pretty much covers it, right? Photocap after the jump…
“To our original faces. May they rest in peace.”
“Does this dress make my lips look strange?”
“Do you see this, Kyle? Photographic evidence that I was once A STAR!!!!”
“Darling, please take this bubbly. I only give it to poors.”
“I’ll stab this bunny just the way Hollywood stabbed MEEEE in the back!”
“I taught Paris this move.”
“Hey look, I found a bag. Also, I used to be famous.”
“No offense, Paul, but you kind of look exactly like a monkey.”
What did you think about the episode?