Ding dong the bitch is dead! Or at least headed back to Staten Island. That’s right, Angelina finally packed her bags and marched out of the crab-den that is the Jersey Shore South Beach home (oh sorry, spoiler alert), thus allowing us to have perhaps a few episodes of peace and quiet before this Florida season wraps up. I must give the little lady some credit. She certainly spiced things up this season, but man oh man — at what cost? The girl was one of the most insufferable characters on reality TV in several years, what with her self-centered, lying, and obnoxious ways. We’ve had a lot of those types on TV before, but I think Angelina was the first to leave a used “feminine product” on the floor of a bathroom. Perhaps she’s this generation’s Puck. Just about the only thing redeeming about Angelina were her lame attempts at comebacks (ie. this episode when Mike said “Why don’t you drop your fat ass” to which she replied, “Why don’t you drop your FACE?”). Needless to say, her hygiene is highly suspect, and I can only imagine the sordid state of her bed sets.

Nevertheless, if Angelina was hoping for a tear-filled, emotional goodbye, she didn’t quite get it. Instead, she wound up tussling with Snooki in one of the most hilarious girlfights in quite some time. The two sparred over a guy named Alex, who elicited accusations of jealousy and whorishness — not to mention 2010’s bitchiest catchphrase, “Just sayin’.” Just sayin’.

Eventually, when push came to shove, Snooki removed her hula hoop earrings (she IS a lady, after all) and then charged Angelina. The two rolled around like some strange Pokemon ball, and of course, rather than break it up, everyone else just stood around and laughed. The Situation was kind enough to move the coffee table out of the way so that the girls could have optimum brawl space, and sure enough, they took advantage of it, squirming together in a grotesque vision of hair and bronzer that surely would have made any parent proud.

In the end though, Angelina couldn’t take it anymore. She packed up her bag, spouted off a few spiteful words (often involving the pluralization of the word “you”), and marched off into the sunset. Good riddance, Angelina. As for the rest of the episode, it was more of the same: Mike banged a Canadian harlot; Vinny and Pauly D goofed around; Ronnie nearly barfed in the SUV; and J-WOWW canoodled with her boyfriend. Fun times.

Photocap after the jump…

“Listen to those jerkoffs calling me a ho. How about I blow them all. THEN who’s the ho? Oh yeah. Me.”

J-WOWW: “Just so you know, I don’t want you to leave.”
“Thank you, Jenni. That was really nice.”
“Yeah, if you leave without cleaning up that pile of Maxi pads in the kitchen, I’m gonna punch you in the face.”

“Yo yo yo. I want you all to meet my girl from Canada. I call her Vaseline Dion.”

Suddenly and without warning, Ronnie’s lung herpes acts up again.

“You think I’m gonna go to the club with you jerkoffs?”
“Get over it, Angelina.”
“No, YOU get over it!”
“How about you get over your ugly ass.”

And with little fanfare, Snooki commences her thesis, “Balzac’s Rubempre Cycle: A Social History of Early 19th Century Paris.”

“I ain’t being nice to none of yous. All of yous are fake! Now WHO WANTS TO HAVE SEX?”

“Get awff of me, you jerkoff!”
“Look at us all twisted together. We’re like Cirque du frickin’ Soleil.”

Mike: “I just wanna move this coffee table out of the way.”
Pauly D: “Why? So they don’t hurt themselves?”
“Nah. I just don’t want them to think it’s a giant potato chip and eat it.”

“I’ve had it with these jerkoffs. Just wait ’til I go back to Staten Island and trash their names. JUST WAIT!”

What did you think about the episode? Glad to see Angelina go?

20 replies on “JERSEY SHORE PHOTOCAP: Miami Just Got 12.5% Less Awful”

  1. I refuse to believe that she and RHONJ’s Teresa are not related.

    On MTV’s Daily Clips, Pauly finds Angelina’s bloodied pillow she had stuck between her legs– while on her period, and then continued to sleep on. So gross.

  2. Wow…before reading this review I just typed on another site how Mondo from Project Runway was this Generations “Pedro Zamora” only to see that Jersey Shores had this generations “Puck”.

  3. I’m no fan of Trash Bags, but I kind of felt like she was ganged up on at the end. Granted she is a terrible person but i felt bad – ugh, now I have something in common with Sammi…

    1. I agree. The ganging up on made me feel bad for her…she had no allies in the house. And whenever the others were around, Mike would jump in her face. But when they weren’t around, he was calm and cordial. He just wants to keep the division and make it anti-Angelina. But, trust, now that she’s gone..the focus will be on him and his obnoxious behavior. Mike will now become the house enemy..he should’ve been nicer to Angelina so he could keep deflecting the hate that will most certaintly come his way.

  4. I thought it was funny that during “Round 2” of the fight, a random muscular black arm reaches down to break them up. Clearly the cast members weren’t concerned but the camera crew or security felt like they should intervene.

  5. Well maybe not all of them are loud MOANERS but I do find them pale and dependent upon the their government for health care. Oh, and our medical system to save their lives—something like that.

    1. It is not lost on the Canadian’s that you feel the comment section of a Jersey Shore recap is the place for a discussion of your uninformed view on the Canadian health care system.
      Please go here http://www.hc-sc.gc.ca/index-eng.php to comment on the Jersey Shore.

  6. It was strange how Snooki was inexplicably missing until Fight Club at the end. Yes, I missed her.

    But won’t miss Staten Island Dump.

  7. Am I the only one who feels bad for Angelina? Having been bullied a lot in my life, I can definitely relate to what she must have been going through.

    Moreover, I don’t understand the perception that she is any more of a slut than Snooki is. They have both hooked up with three of their roommates, but somehow, Snooki gets away with it while Angelina is labelled a slut, and don’t even get me started on the male/female double-standard in the house/society!

    Am I really alone here?

    1. Yes. You are alone. Unlike most bullying situations (pardon the pun), she brought it on herself. She’s a delusional and self-centered narcissist (is that redundant?). She causes drama. She lies. She’s loud. She manipulates. She doesn’t do her share around the house. She doesn’t take any time to get to know anyone, but wants everyone to “get” her. She’s always trying to make herself out to be the misunderstood victim. But in the words of B-Side himself, she’s AWFUL! (I don’t know if he’s ever called her awful, but I credit the word awful to B.) All of these things culminate to make the drama we love to watch.

      The reason Snooki gets away with it is because she’s likeable, honest and a good person. Could it be a double-standard? I guess. But I also don’t know that Snooki’s version of “hooked up” means slept with. I think her version is made out. Angelina’s is slept with.

      Clearly she has issues. But I don’t really feel sorry for her or anyone else with issues.

      Is it OK to bully kids in grade/middle/high school? No. But this is the real world. And Angelina deserves it. I couldn’t take another second of it.

      Angelina highlights:

      1. When Vinny’s coherent enough to see Angelina’s games and calls her on it (only for it to backfire).
      2. When Mike called her a dirty little hamster.
      3. When Mike put the used pad in her bed (I mean, seriously, I don’t know ANYONE who is so disgusting as to leave a used pad on the bathroom floor – not even wrapped in toilet paper).

      1. I’m with you, Pahllulah! I agree Angelina is a slob and rude. If the guys had stuck to those points, I wouldn’t have a problem. But they continually brought up the double standard of her bringing guys home and how girls shouldn’t do that. (Even though Snooki does and it’s cute apparently). I kind if hated everyone in this episode, except Jenny.

        I do wonder why Angelina left with so little time left. Did she already know she wasn’t going to be on Season 3? Do they get paid weekly or did she already get her paycheck and figured staying wasn’t worth it?

  8. Thank you, Kelly. Well said.

    Phallulah: Angelina is a shining example of someone who can dish it out but can’t take it. She is the child that is told, from day one nothing is her fault. Note how any and every criticism can, in her mind, be chalked up to “jealousy” over the fact that she’s just so damn awesome.

    Radaronline reported this week that Angelina is now claiming her Mother had to be “hospitalized for stomach ulcers” after watching last weeks episode. That apple didn’t plop far from the tree.

  9. I just liked how Angelina tried to turn to Sammi & Ronnie for sympathy, but Sammi said she called her fake, too. Sammi gets it when it comes to girl bs, just not man bs!

    Angelina shouldn’t have expected anyone to take up for her after she called EVERYONE in the house fake and told them ALL that she didn’t like them. Why would she expect Sammi to be on her side after that bull?? Crazy.

    1. Yea, but without Angelina, Sammi doesn’t have any girlfriends in the house. She could’ve defended Angelina or offered support like Jenni did. But she sat back, quiet, and then when angelina left, felt bad that she has no allies because she is still mad at jenni and Nicole over the note. So, Sammi is fake…or incredibly self-absorbed. or both.

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