I now have a difficult task in front of me. I have to recap an hour of Big Brother where very little happened. Sure, we got a new HOH, and sure, we have new nominees, but besides that, we got nothing going on in the BB house. That’s thanks to a final five which is entirely too chummy. Not only that, we have no heroes or villains. I guess Ragan is sort of a villain, but he’s also the underdog, and we all love underdogs. Lane has emerged as my favorite player, but a Lane victory has about as much drama as watching a gentle breeze urge a cotton ball along table (don’t get me wrong, that can be very dramatic, especially if scored by Philip Glass, but I think you know what I’m talking about).
That being said, there were some high points to this episode. I enjoyed the HOH competition quite a bit. Even though I already knew the outcome, the way it played out was quite nail-biting. Second, I enjoyed the silliness of Pandora’s Box. Let’s face it: nothing else is going on with these players, why not spend the time screwing with them. That’s exactly what the producers did. After new HOH (spoiler, if you haven’t seen it yet) Lane opened Pandora’s box and collected a whopping $91.17 in prizes from a money tree, the house had to endure three punishments. The first one we saw was the disappearance of cups and silverware for the week. It was a petty prank, but an effective one nonetheless. Color me crazy, but I’m more excited to see the next punishments than the outcome of this week.
Photocap after the jump…
“That Brendon was a strong competitor.”
“Yeah, really determined.”
“Mad respect for him.”
“Also, what a douche.”
“We have to win HOH. You get this, right? I mean, of course you get it. My communications skills are so proficient, one might think I have a PhD in the subject, WHICH I DON’T.”
“Oh my God. I would rather curl up into a little ball, roll down this plank, and land in a house of cards — provided the cards were made of razors and barbed wire that would shred my body into a thousand pieces — than play this game any longer.”
“When I got eliminated in the very first round, I wanted to walk into the kitchen, make a time machine out of a coffee pot and some place mats, travel to 1942 Hiroshima, and wait for the bomb to go off on my head. And yes, I realize the bomb didn’t go off until 1945, but I would rather sit there bored for THREE YEARS and then DIE instead of sitting on the sidelines of this game.”
“Why does everyone always want to talk strategy with me on this hammock? I would rather untie all these ropes, refashion them into a noose, stick my head in it, and HANG MYSELF from a ceiling fan than sit on this hammock any longer.”
“Meow Meow can do this. It’s like playing ski-ball at the Jersey Shore. Then again, I never did get more than five points at that. Screw all yous!”
“Playing with balls and shafts. JUST ANOTHER FRIDAY NIGHT FOR ME IN WEST HOLLYWOOD!!!”
“Guuuuurl, that’s a ZING!!!”
“This pillow is my only comfort. I only wish it didn’t remind me of Rachel’s FAT, PIMPLY FACE.”
“You ever make out with a penguin before?”
“I’m definitely going for Pandora’s Box, especially if there’s a turtle in there I can stab! Or shoot. As long as I can kill it, I’ll be happy.”
“I didn’t know Hannukah chocolates grew on trees!”
“What’s that? There’s a movie with Xtina AND Cher coming out? LET ME OUT OF THIS HOUSE RIGHT NOW!!!“
“Look at me. Licking a rim with my tongue. JUST ANOTHER FRIDAY NIGHT IN WEST HOLLYWOOD FOR ME!!!”
“Gurl, she’s on a roll!!!”
“The very notion that Fantasia Barrino tried to deprive this world of her natural gifts is so beyond horrifying to me… I can’t even speak, and this is coming from a man with a PHD IN COMMUNICATIONS!”
“Finally, the Meow Meow can eat out of saucers without it looking weird.”
What did you think about the episode?