I just received an email that was quite curious, and not because it called me by the Asian-esque name, “BEN BEN.” The cyber missive came from an organization called, and seeing that the title comprised two of my favorite things, I was immediately intrigued. After the header (From:, To: BEN BEN), the first paragraph offered these brief but compelling details about the club:

HollywoodMixer is a website for entertainment professionals. Meet other producers, agents, managers and entertainment execs as well as share gossip and rumors.

Gossip and rumors? Entertainment execs? Professionals? It was an intoxicating blend, no doubt! (I wasn’t intrigued by the agents and managers section because I’m all taken care of in that department — high five, TEAM!) Anyway, the email continued:

Our membership is growing and all profiles are screened and manually pre-approved.

An air of exclusivity: my kind of club. And of course, by virtue of receiving this email, I just had to assume I was being invited to be screened and manually pre-approved. Color my ego inflated! And then came the third paragraph:

At this time, we are NOT accepting actors, screenwriters or directors.

What in the what what? You’re not accepting screenwriters? THEN WHY THE HELL DID YOU SEND ME THE EMAIL? It’s like telling people “Here’s a party that you’re NOT invited to.” Of course, maybe it wasn’t an invitation. Maybe it was merely a notice to the general public; a way to draw a line in the sand as if to say, “In case you think that we associate with creative types, you’re wrong. WE DON’T.” Either way, HollywoodMixer is probably just an organization full of assistants looking for a leg-up, and to them I say: you won’t have BEN BEN to kick around anymore!