Well, the Real Housewives of Atlanta kicked off yet another raucous reunion this week, and to the surprise of no one in particular, it wound up being the Kenya Moore show. That’s pretty much the way it’s been all season, and Kenya did not disappoint (unless we’re talking about all aspects of her personal and professional career, in which case, yes, she most likely has disappointed everyone in her life). With a fan in place and many sneers at her disposal, Kenya once again brandished her overly-deliberate psycho bitch persona, and while it’s such a patently obvious play for camera time, I can’t help but be entertained by it. Hey, it’s like watching professional wrestling: we know it’s fake; so, why not go along for the ride? And yes, I do truly believe the spirit of Andre the Giant carries on with these ladies (if not the fashion sense).
The big topics of this first hour mostly revolved around Kenya. There was Kenya vs. Porsha, Kenya vs. Phaedra, and Kenya vs. any semblance of sanity. Most of the squabbling went in one ear and out the other, but big ups to Phaedra who managed one of the best lines of the night: “Single white female, black delusional Kenya.” Along the way there was a nifty awkward moment as Porsha defended her now defunct marriage. Plus, we enjoyed a small tiff between Kandi and Nene, who took the time to revive their annual “You’re mean to me / I’m just sharing my opinion / Well, it’s mean / Well, I’m sorry. I never intended it to be mean” argument. All fun times.
Next week, the return of Kim. C’mon wig! But until then, check out the photocap after the jump…
Andy: “Welcome to the Real Housewives of Atlanta reunion. I have a boner.”
“This year’s theme is tablecloths.”
“And that’s when I said to myself ‘Nene, you MUST wear a duvet cover today.'”
Cynthia: “Okay people, I’m showing inner-side boob. Does this FINALLY make me interesting?”
Phaedra: “No.”
Kenya: “Pardon me, I just had a HILARIOUS memory from the set of one of my multi-million dollar straight-to-DVD films that no one has ever seen.”
Porsha: “So let me get this straight: the difference between a turnip and a turban is that one is a vegetable and the other is a type of Subaru?”
Kandi: “Not even close.”
Cynthia: “See, there it is: the Bailey Agency official iPhone App.”
Nene: “Chile, that’s just a link to a dancing banana.”
Nene: “I want to congratulate Cynthia. I saw one… no, THREE people going into her agency.”
Phaedra: “Now hold on. Are you sure those weren’t just birds crashing into the window?”
Nene: “Oh girl, you right.”
“I don’t really understand the difference between Miss America and Miss USA. The only thing I do know is that Kordell loves me, and we’ll be together forever!”
“The difference between Miss America and Miss USA is rather clear: Miss America is old and irrelevant whereas Miss USA is new and irrelevant.”
“Please make sure my makeup is good. I don’t want to disappoint all zero of my fans.”
“Man, what a day. And to think that after this I have to go to a gala to raise awareness about nothing in particular.”
Kandi: “Here’s what you gotta know about Kenya. She’s mentally unstable. Like, straight-up bipolar.”
Kenya: “Hahahhaa I AM!”
Kandi: “I was telling RIIIIILEY that if she want to live a good life, she should look at Kenya and do the exact OPPOSITE.”
Kenya: “I’m just a terrible role model!”
Porsha: “I wonder if Joe Camel and Camelo Anthony are related. Wait, it’s Carmelo? Not Camelo? So is he made of caramel or something?”
Kandi: “I sure could use a to-go box of chicken milanese right now.”
Kenya: “I feel like an iconic black woman — much like Halle Berry in B.A.P.S. or that woman from the Snackwells commercials.”
“As a woman who loves oversized penises, I have to say… nothing. I just wanted to mention that I love oversized penises.”
Kandi: “Nene, you always throwing me some shade. Even RIIIILEY’s like ‘Mama, why Nene throw you shade?’ and I’m like ‘RIIIIIILEY, do your homework!'”
Porsha: “Just to clarify, a tortilla is made from little tortoises, yes?”
Kandi: “No.”
Cynthia: “It’s funny: last season, people hated me for not speaking up. This season, people hate me for speaking up too much. You just can’t please everyone.”
Nene: “Either that or people just inherently hate you.”
What did you think about the reunion?
LOL!! Loved your photo recap, especially with Cynthia. That chile’s boobs are more interesting. They should bring out RIIIIIILEY and let her talk next time.
Bring back the Reunion recaps as portrayed by salt and pepper shakers!!!
Thank u Ben! These recaps bring so much joy to my life. C’mon wig!