RACHEL ZOE PHOTOCAP: Like, LITERALLY, The Season Is Already Over

It seemed like it had just started, but The Rachel Zoe Project is already over. That’s too bad because I didn’t feel like I got my full dose of lunacy. Don’t get me wrong: there were plenty of quintessential Rachel Zoe moments over the past few weeks, but there was also way too much of Rodger and Joey, both of whom have an infinite capability to grate. Rodger whines, and Joey’s just entitled. Poor Jeremiah really got the raw end of the deal here, getting axed for expressing interest in the company. Sure, his plan for Rachel Zoe Home is a bit overly ambitious at this stage of the game, but the guy is so likable and clearly has an eye for style. Why not teach him the ways of the celebrity stylist?

Luckily for ‘miah, he earned a reprieve last night after successfully creating a “store-in-store” experience for Rachel at Bloomingdales. His strong work resulted in an invitation back into the company, which was great news for him, but we all know he’s just gonna be stuck caring for Baby Skylar (or “Sky,” as Rachel says in her trademark staccato). Even if Jeremiah does inch his way into styling, it’s obvious that Joey will push him out. The gayz can be competitive, especially when one of them has the esteemed title of #1 Gay Sidekick to a a Celebrity. Look for more friction on that front.

Nevertheless, as the season drew to a close, Rachel and Rodger had the gang over for a barbecue, and I had to admit that there really did seem to be a family vibe going on with all these kooky characters. Say what you will about Joey or Rodger, but they all do form some strange tribe, and it was oddly endearing. What is wrong with me? Didn’t I used to be snarky? Photocap after the jump…

“Ohmygod. My little man is sitting on Rodge’s lap. I’m, like, obsessed with my little man. I want to sit on his lap while he sits in Rodge’s lap. It’s like a store-in-store, but with laps. I die for his lap. Ohmygod.”

Skylar: “Wow, my dad really does bitch a lot.”

“Hey Mandana, isn’t it funny how I’m, like, a hairstylist, but my hair always looks like a disaster?”

“Ohmygod. I’m holding a baby. I’m literally holding Skylar. Where’s ‘Miah? I want to show him Sky. Sky is my precious jewel. Ohmygod. Sky. I’m obSESSED.”

“Ohmygod. Where’s Pammy? I die for Pammy. Almost as much as I die for Sky. I can’t wait to dress him in Givenchy flats and a Chanel sarong.”

Joey: “Ohmygod, Rachel. I gag for your baby.”
“I die for your gag.”
“I, like, want to throw up because Sky is so cute.”
“I die for Sky. Obsessed.”
“Like, I think Sky came from Chanel because he’s, like, perfect in only the way Chanel can be.”
“Ohmygod. I just had a baby Chanel moment. Sky is so MAJE.”

“Hey, Jeremiah. We just want to fire you again.”

“Ohmygod, Rodge. Where’s the stroller?”
“I don’t know.”
“I die for a stroller right now.”
“I don’t know where it is, Rach.”
“Call ‘miah. He’ll know.”
“I’m sure we can find it.”
“What if the stroller left us and took my clients?”
“I don’t think so, Rach.”
“It makes me sick to my stomach to think about what we gave that stroller.”
“The stroller isn’t stealing clients.”
“That stroller was my precious jewell.”
“I know.”
“Like, I wanted to dress the stroller up in Givenchy, give it some sunnies, and tell people it’s my stroller baby.”
“Well, luckily you have a real baby.”
“I want to put my real baby in my stroller baby.”
“You can do that.”
“Do you think my stroller baby will eat my real baby?”
“I don’t think so.”
“What if stroller baby is jealous of Sky?”
“He won’t be.”
“I don’t want stroller baby in this house.”
“What? I thought you wanted the stroller.”
“Stroller baby wants to kill Sky. And I won’t have that. Sky is shutting. it. down.”

“HELLO. Mr. July is smokin’ hot!”
“Um, that’s a portfolio of chairs.”
“Huh. I guess that explains why Mr. July looks so upholstered.”

“So this is fun. I have, like, ten minutes to make a store-in-store. All so I can get fired again. Great.”

“Hey, Rodge. Look at our little guy.”
“Yeah. He’s cute. Can I hold him?”
“I’m OBSESSED with Sky. I can’t give him up.”
“C’monnnn Rach.”
“If I give him up, I don’t know what to do.”
“Why don’t you call Mandana and work on things? You can do that, right?”
“Unclear.”
“Just give me the baby.”
“Ohmygod. I LITERALLY am holding Sky. Do you not see me holding my little man?”
“I do, but–“
“Ohmygod. Rodge can’t see me.”
“I can see you.”
“Literally, I’m invisible. Am I dead? Am I a ghost?”
“No, Rachel. You’re alive.”
“Ohmygod. Rodge. You’re communing with a ghost. Where is Patrick Swayze. He’s my precious ghost.”
“Rachel…”
“Call Demi. Tell her I’m with Patrick. This ghost moment is shutting. it. down.”

“Ohmygod. I just want to get into my car and drive my little man around the city. Where am I going? I’m lost. I die for some navigation. Ohmygod. There’s traffic. And a light. LITERALLY, this major intersection is MAJE.”

“Ohmygod. I feel like I am LITERALLY walking the runway in baby fashion week.”
Mandana: “You look very fashionable.”
“Where is the store-in-store?”
“It should be around here soon.”
“I die for a store-in-store.”
“I’m sure it’ll be awesome.”
“Mandana?”
“Yes.”
“Tell me about the store-in-store.”
“Well, I haven’t seen it yet.”
“Why not?”
“I just haven’t.”
“Did the store-in-store die?”
“No.”
“Is it a ghost store-in-store?”
“No.”
“Will there be ghosts-in-ghosts in the store-in-store?”
“No.”
“What if a ghost that’s not in another ghost wants to go to the store-in-store?”
“I don’t think that will be a problem.”
“We should let ghosts know that they are all welcome.”
“I don’t think any ghosts will be coming.”
“Oh no. I feel sick. The ghosts aren’t coming to my ghost-in-ghost store-in-store.”
“No, I mean–“
“Do we need to add another store? A store-in-store-in-store?”
“I don’t think we can do that.”
“Ohmygod. I just thought of something.”
“What?”
“A store-in-store-in-store-in-store.”
“Stop adding stores, Rachel.”
“Ohmygod. What about a ghost-store-in-store-in-store-in-store? For the ghosts.”
“I’m so confused.”
“Did ‘miah put any chairs in the store-in-store-in-store-in-store-in-store?”
“He did, yes.”
“I don’t want two fat, bored ghosts in the middle of the store-in-store-in-store-in-store-in-store.”
“Rachel, you added another store.”
“And I’ll keep adding stores if the ghosts keep coming.”
“Rachel…”
“Ohmygod. What if Pacman comes and eats up all the ghosts? This will be a storesast-in-sast-in-sast-in-sast-in-saster.”

“‘miah, you are my precious jewel.”
“Thank you!!”
“You’re fired.”

“‘miah, I’m so glad you’re back. We need your help with these flowers.”
“No worries! All done!”
“Wow. Those are MAJE.”
“Thanks!”
“You’re fired.”

Joey: “I’m still her best gay, BITCH!”

“There was a lot of stress this year, and I want to thank you all for letting me bitch and whine. I had a great time doing it, and I look forward to more bitching and whining in the years to come.”

What did you think about this season?