Well, another week has come and gone in the Big Brother house, and Head of Household Aaryn has managed to live up to expectations: she dropped a few questionable bon mots (that whole “axed” thing with the Cheez-Its) and of course managed to put the two black people in the house on the block. Admittedly, I honestly don’t think that Candice and Howard were nominated due to racial bias (at least not overtly), but then again, when one looks at why Candice and Howard were forced together as a duo in the first place, the picture becomes murkier.
Yes, the summer of racism has certainly been an intriguing one, and joining Aaryn on the list of terrible people has been Amanda — a fan favorite just two weeks ago. Amanda has been leading a witch hunt against Howard that has at times seemed totally nonsensical. She’s clearly become the power player in the house (along with Helen), but unlike the latter lady, Amanda has shown a brash, brutish side — to the point where I think most of America probably didn’t mind when Spencer told her to simply SHUT THE HELL UP. Normally, we’d be crying “misogyny!” especially since Spencer is, you know, a misogynist, but it’s amazing what context will do for a guy. There’s something great about hearing a bully like Amanda being told to shut up (especially after SHE pulls the “You’re bullying me” card). Never mind that she’s been saying more and more racist and homophobic things on the live feeds these days.
Nevertheless, Spencer tried to help his buddy Howard by rallying troops against Amanda and McCrae, but as usual, he placed trust in the wrong people (seriously, everyone in The Moving Company is an idiot), and naturally Andy went and told Amanda that Spencer was trying to target her. When she later confronted him, Spencer lied and said Candice was his target, and of course Helen overheard this and told Candice. Unfortunately, Candice isn’t always the smartest player. Yes, she sniffed out The Moving Company, but she’s also halfway insane. Rather than consider the idea that Helen might be playing her, Candice stomped out in to the backyard and called out Spencer, one of her few allies. At that point, it was clear there’d be no saving poor Howard. Indeed, the racists finally won, and the meek muscleman was sent packing. Aw.
To the photocap!
“Good evening, I’m Julie Chen, and I WANT MY DINNER!”
“Man, I’ve been pedaling for hours, but I still haven’t reached the Nevada border. This is the worst bike I’ve ever used.”
Howard: “Candice, we ain’t gonna be ugly like that. Keep your cool!”
Candice: “Lose my cool. Got it!”
Elissa: “No OFFFFFENSE, but whoever put the octopusssss on the shelf should put him back in the fish tank. He’s, like, going to die now. THAAAANNNNKKKSSS.”
“To think of a black man getting farther than me — a NON-RACIST — is sickening. But enough about that. Did you have some queer issue to talk about, Andy?”
“Did we ever get an answer from Karen Carpenter about why birds suddenly appear?”
“I dunno. They wanna be close to you maybe? I really don’t have time for this.”
“Close to me? BUT WHY?”
“Fashion advice? What else are you queers good for?”
“Please stop speaking like that.”
“What? I am like a walking gay pride float. Gays love me. Don’t you love me, Kermit The Fa–“
“Please don’t use that word.”
“Everyone’s so sensitive. I blame Howard. Let’s vote him out.”
Amanda: “Aw, Andy. Don’t you worry. I’ll protect you from the birds.”
“I figured it out: Howard’s been controlling the birds that torment Andy. WE HAVE TO VOTE OUT HOWARD.”
“Shut the hell up.”
“I think a bird just told me to shut up. This is all Howard’s fault.”
“Hey Spencer, I don’t care what you say, I am going to wear my J-Lo shades.”
“The joke’s on Candice because I love her in J-Lo shades!”
“I can’t wait to tell Santa who’s been naughty.”
“Could you believe Candice’s rant? It was all Mary J. Blige this, Red Lobster that.”
“I’m sorry, but Candice’s rant didn’t even make any sense. Like, she needs to learn how to concentrate on her words. You know how fat people go to fat camps? She needs to go to a CONCENTRATION CAMP. For real.”
“Hi Juuuuulie. I jussst want to say that I hate covering my shoulders. Like, who does that? No OFFFENSE. THAAANKKKKSS fer ASSSKING.”
Julie: “I never asked.”
Howard: “I wonder if Julie is going to ask me about my calzone hat.”
“OH MY GAWD. STAWP IT!!! That candle over there looks like Nick’s elbow!! LOVE YOU NICK CANDLE!!!!”
“Hiiii Juliiiieeee. I saddddddly have to evict Amanda’s one-piece. THANNNNNKSSS NO OFFFFENSE.”
“Candice and Howard, by a vote of 9 to 1, your accessories have been evicted from Claire’s Boutique.”
“Wow. This HOH room sure is spacious!”
“Howard, you’ve been evicted.”
“Well, that’s okay. Imma go back to my private island off the coast of Paraguay.”
“Paraguay is landlocked.”
“Uh… I meant Nepal.”
“Good save, ME.”
“Howard, are you lying?”
“Okay. I lied. But that’s the VERY last lie. Now I have it off my chest, and I have a clear conscience. Feels great!”
“So will you give me a straight answer if I ask why you have pizza dough in the shape of a hat on your head?”
“Uh… It’s because… I always run warm; so why not make a pizza on my head?”
“Howard… you didn’t realize you were wearing pizza dough, did you?”
“No, I did not.”
“But I kinda like it!!!”
Amanda: “Well, Howard, you’ve finally been evicted, which means I can now focus on my next task: getting you evicted.”
Elissa: “Ew, who would bring a giant log into this house? Like, NO OFFENSE, but I saddddly have to say THANNNNKS but NO THANNNNKS.”
What did you think about the episode? Did the household make the right choice?
And check out our in-depth and often catty analysis of week 6 in the house on The TV Clique (yes, we’re back to that name — sorry for the confusion!). It’s really funny and fun and you should watch and tell your friends! Yay!
*Thanks to all the love from Jokers Updates too!