CUT Fitness is off to a great start! Yes, The Real Housewives of Orange County put the fit in fitness this week when Tamra had a disastrous launch event of sorts in the future home of her exercise studio. The problems began when Vicki asked if she could invite Tamra’s new arch-nemesis Alexis to the event, and claiming to be caught off guard, Tamra had said yes. Well, she soon regretted her decision to allow Jesus Jugs into her facility, and perhaps for good reason. It wasn’t long before Alexis began squawking about feeling “boolied,” a term that sent smoke out of the ears of Tamra, Gretchen, and Heather. This inevitably led to screaming, pointing, and Tamra’s much publicized ejection of Lady Bellino. It was certainly an explosive end to an episode, but just as noteworthy was the awkward and tense build up, which featured the women sitting around on couches, barely containing their rage. Basically, we were one Andy Cohen short of an actual reunion.
At least we had Lydia, who sweetly attempted to spur on some light conversation, but her attempts were thwarted by Gretchen, who replied with curt, bitchy remarks (usually supported by a nasty glare from Heather and Tamra). It was awful. And yet… awesome. This was one warehouse party I could defiitely get behind.
After the jump, check out the photocap…
“Alexis, I need you to come to Tamra’s party. It’s important that I appear smarter than at least one person.”
“Listen, I don’t want to start off on a bad foot or stick my note in my mouth, but I’m not that stupid.”
“You’re the spokeswoman for a trampoline park. You are very, very stupid.”
“I won’t be boolied by you or Katie Koorick or anyone else.”
“I guess you’re right. These girls will utterly tear you apart anyway.”
“Wow. You must really need me. Okay. I’ll go. Would a stupid person do that?”
“This is Heather Dubrow, and you’re listening to Real Chat with Heather: the only show that answers all your questions about parenting AND onion rings.”
Lydia: “And this is my daughter. She’s been so excited to meet you. Finally someone who can relate at her level.”
“HAHAHAHHAA wait, what are we laughing at? Trampaloons? Trampolines? How do you say it?”
“Mirror, Mirror on the wall. Whose onion ring is fairest of them all?”
“Unfortunately, we can’t have your tacky mansion on the cover of our magazine.”
Lydia: “Yeah, we’re running a feature on the top ten Shirley Temples in Mission Viejo instead. Spoiler alert: I just drank third place!”
“For the last time, Eddie, the answer is NO, I do NOT know where I can find you a matching pink bathrobe.”
“Okay, kids. Mommy’s going out now. Don’t finish Goodnight Moon without me. I wanna know how it ends.”
“I’m so sick of Alexis accusing me of being a mean girl. That’s so far from the truth. And that’s why me and the cool girls are going to be icy bitches to her tonight.”
“It’s amazing. Sometimes I just feel so HOT. And I feel just awful for you guys because you have to be around me and my HOTNESS, WHICH I HAVE. Like the sun. In LADY FORM.”
The women take a much needed break from their intense discussion of thermodynamic analysis and nanotechnology.
Tamra: “At first, when Vicki said she wanted to invite Alexis, I was so blindsided that I said yes. I mean, I wanted to be classy. But then today I realized: since when am I classy? GET THAT BITCH OUTTA HERE!!”
Vicki: “We’re here! I found this flower box in Adrienne Maloof’s trash!”
Alexis: “Hello, boolies.”
Lydia: “Cool garage!”
Tamra: “And this here is where the spin classes will happen.”
Alexis: “Really? How will people fit?”
Tamra: “This isn’t the real thing. It’s a model.”
Alexis: “Like, a bikini model?”
“No… forget it.”
“Listen, if it doens’t have a trampoline, I don’t care.”
Lydia: “So… who here likes potatoes?”
“Potatoes? Pssh. What a loser.”
Vicki: “Don’t listen to Gretchen. She’s a stupid person.”
Gretchen: “You’re stupid.”
Tamra: “Yeah. Seriously.”
Lydia: “Gretchen, do you have any kids?”
Gretchen: “Psssh. Yeah. A potato.”
Tamra: “omg you didn’t.”
Alexis: “Even though we have our differences, Tamra, I want to support you in your non-trampoline business.”
Tamra: “Yeah. And I want to support you in your bra.”
Gretchen: “haha, good one.”
“Thanks. She set me up.”
“She’s such a setter upper.”
“ugh I know.”
Lydia: “Wow. There’s a lot of tension here. You know what this party needs?”
Vicki: “I’m looking at these centerpieces, and I can’t help but wonder: did you get bouquet insurance?”
“THIS PARTY IS NOT ABOUT YOU.”
“I know it’s about you, but it’s also about how I’m here for you too.”
“This is supposed to be a fun, happy dinner in a giant industrial space. And you’re ruining it.”
“Grrr… I smell onion rings.”
Alexis: “I feel boolied. And so does my hair.”
“GET OUT! GET OUT OF MY COLD, EMPTY WAREHOUSE!!!”
“OH believe ME. I don’t WANT to be here. I’m going to go where I’m loved and appreciated: a trampoline park.”
Alexis: “I’m leaving, even though you are singing my favorite song.”
What did you think about the fight? Is Alexis overly sensitive? Should Vicki have invited her? And were Gretchen, Tamra, and Heather being mean girls or rightfully pissy?
“I found this flower box in Adrienne Maloof’s trash” is the best line, but wouldn’t it gave been found in Sur’s trash ? maybe Lisa gave it to Vicky as a joke. Haha. You are hilarious.
Christians on steroids = Lydia
Atheists on ambien = Me
Weirdest party ever. That place looked horrible and so did tmra. How much makeup was she wearing?
This dinner party reminded me of the first She by Sheree launch…not a piece of equipment in site. Ugh Tamra is awful.
Good to see that Vicki and Adrienne use the same florist. Is that a large piece of garlic and a mini watermelon in that “arrangement”?
Yay! Two photocaps in a row!
meanest tackiest bitches ever, they all need to grow up, but you wouldn’t have a show yhen ad they would not have a paycheck, ha!
This was one of the most uncomfortable episodes I ever remember watching. Truly cringe-worthy.
That party really was like a reunion without Andy Cohen. Uncomfortable. I am interested to see if this rift lasts the whole season or if they somehow make up. If it stays with these two distinct camps, I bet half the cast gets fired, like what happened on RHONY.
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