You know, I love me some Shereé, but she was up to no good whatsoever on this week’s episode of The Real Housewives of Atlanta. She continued to perpetuate this silly (and false) rumor that Kandi was talking smack about Kim, specifically in regards to whether the Wig’d One would hold a black baby in Africa. The whole thing was so stupid and petty, and yet unbelievably frustrating thanks to the editors who replayed Kandi’s actual words umpteen times. For the record, it was Cynthia who made the initial remark, and regardless of what she or Kandi said afterwards, they were both joking around (and they were both correct with what they were saying). That, of course, did not come through in Shereé’s version of the truth, which for some reason Kim glommed onto as if it were gospel. Suddenly Kim announced to us that if there was one thing that Kim didn’t do, it was talk crap behind her back. Since when did Kim become so sure of Shereé’s allegiances? Wasn’t it just a few months ago when Ms. Whitfield was tugging at Kim’s weave outside of esteemed eatery FAB?
The truth is that poor, naive Kim probably just believes whoever gets to her first, and in this case, that person was Shereé. I don’t suppose we can expect Kim to approach a situation like this rationally — after all, this is the same woman who proudly declares that she doesn’t speak behind her friends’ backs while simultaneously speaking behind Kandi’s back.
Then again, maybe we can’t blame Kim. She is awfully stressed after all. This episode saw her enduring the difficulties of selecting fabrics for her home and… checking email. I swear, with all that hard work she could be a latter-day Horatio Alger heroine.
Luckily, Kim has intrepid assistant Sweetie to shoulder some (read: all of the load). One problem: Kim is just now realizing how useless Sweetie actually is (Exhibit A: she lounges by the pool instead of works — not that she has any real work to do anyway). It’s only a matter of time before Kim axes Sweetie, especially now that she’s grumbling about missed calls and Kroy’s dissatisfaction with her. But without Sweetie, who will take care of the difficult stuff like… checking voicemail and running the dishwasher? I do not envy the leisure-free life of Kim!!!
Facing more serious issues is Nene, whose son once again landed in jail — this time for shoplifting razors from Walmart. As an example of tough love, Nene decided to let Bryson rot in prison, but Peter (as in Cynthia’s Peter) knew that this wasn’t the way to help the boy. Who knows what could happen to a good kid like Bryson in jail (translation: sodomy). Anyway, Peter was very adamant that Nene should rescue her son, but I’m not sure Peter is the best person to be taking advice from. After all, this is the same guy who wants to invite 150 people to a one year anniversary party. Not only does he not seem to have the cash for such a ridiculous event, but he barely seems to have the approval of his wife, Cynthia, who said she only wanted a small party. Why do they even need a party in the first place? Making it through the first year of marriage is not a particularly noteworthy milestone for anyone except a husband and wife.
Then again, what’s the fun of not having money if you can’t spend it? Go ahead, Peter. Have fun growing your debt.
“Please be sure to wrap all my shoes individually. And place the handbags in the larger suitcase. And be sure to fold my jockstraps carefully.”
“Well, Africa has been fun, but I’m ready to go home and fritter money away on a party I can’t afford.”
“SWEETIE, what are you doing out here? I’m inside STRESSED OUT. I had to, like, turn on my computer all by myself!”
“Sweetie. Oh my God. How do you keep beating me at Words with Friends?”
“Sweetie, where is my Chick Fil-A? One moment it was here, and then I ate it, and now I can’t find it. What the hell, Sweetie??”
“Okay, so here’s what we’re going to do. We going to invite 150 people, put them in the living room, paint a two story portrait of you, load in a dinosaur skeleton, and call it a party.”
“Kandi, how do I make a Facebook profile for my wig?”
“Well, this is great.”
“I see some weeds–“
“–and some dust–“
“Girl, you know Sheree gone freak when she find out we seen her lot.”
“I do NOT have an empty lot. My house is halfway built! AND IT’S INVISIBLE.”
“Why would Kandi say that I wouldn’t hold a black baby? I love black babies!!! And for the record, Black Baby is a type of Chardonnay, right?”
“Nene, the longer your son is in prison, the more he’s getting raped.”
“Listen to me, Nene. I am a model of smart living: I have thirty-four kids with thirty-three women, I run businesses into the ground, and I have no money to my name. I think I know what I’m talking about.”
“Well, as a star of Celebrity Apprentice, I’m not sure I can agree with that.”
“Look, here’s what you do. Bail your son out, find a dinosaur skeleton, and have a party for him under it.”
Nibble by Nibblé.
“Now tell me again how they make banana chips?”
“Wait, Cheesy Poofs and Cheese Doodles are the same thing?? What a world.”
Accusation by Accusationée.
“How many times do I have to repeat this? I DID NOT SAY ANYTHING ABOUT A BLACK BABY!!! Are you people stupid? Wait, don’t answer that.”
“I would love to hold a black baby! I was a nurse!!!! Wait, would I have to touch the black baby? Because that’s kind of a dealbreaker.”
I Rest My Case By I Rest My Casé.
What did you think about this episode?