A few observations from this past week’s Real Housewives of Atlanta:

1) Somehow, Phaedra has become one of my favorite housewives. She’s ridiculous, but she’s also hilarious, and this season, she’s eased up on the bullshit (ie. claiming she was at full term after six months of pregnancy). Now what we have a jolly woman who happily delivers lopsided cakes and a comforting coo of “Giiiiiiiiiirlllll!” Plus, while I’ve yet to actually see her legal chops in action, I do love her vigilant attitude in defending Sherayay from both her dubious contractor and her deadbeat husband. The fact that she also scatters each episode with a dozen hilarious observations doesn’t hurt either.

2) For all her ridiculousness, Kim Zolciak has also emerged as a more likable force this season. Dare I say that Kroy truly has grounded her, even if it’s just a shade? I’m glad to see her reined in from the spoiled diva precipice she seemed so close to teetering over last season.

3) Nene has become fairly obnoxious, but she’s still so flamboyantly amusing that it’s impossible to write her off entirely.

4) Bar One seems to be a most ill-advised business venture. First things first: after Peter’s Uptown Club failed last season, Cynthia assured us that her husband had moved on to a much smaller venue. I was so naive to think the space would be a narrow bar, much like many a cute New York City watering holes. Nope. As far as I could tell, this was a full-on house with multiple rooms (none of which seemed ready for the “preview” that we witnessed this week). I’m not sure Peter knows the meaning of small. He might not even know the meaning of “business savvy.” Either way, the place was a disaster — no air conditioning, ugly decor, horrific location. Call it personal snobbery, but I generally hate bars and restaurants that feel like the inside of a home (there are exceptions of course). Everything about this place seems destined to fail, but then again, as Phaedra noted, even people in the hood need someplace to drink…

Photocap after the jump…

Phaedra: “Girl, I am so sorry about the other night. Mind if I set this down on your ass?”

“Is the cake that bad? I had Redickulous stick his penis in the batter.”

“Mirror, mirror on the wall. Who’s the most boring of them all?…Mirror? Did you fall asleep?”

“Apologies. The last look we saw was not in fact Donna Karan but K-Mart.”

Woman behind Cynthia: “Wait a second. This isn’t the annual meeting of the Audubon Society.”

“Where are the strippers?”

“Lawrence, I am open to all sexual orientations and gender expressions, but you look ridiculous.”

“I’m really excited about Bar One. I think it’s going to do great. It’s oversized, it’s in the hood, and it doesn’t have air conditioning. Plus, Peter is an asshole, and the customers really like that. How could it go wrong?”

“I’m sorry… I just don’t understand how my own sister could be SO BORING.”

“Bob, you better pay child support or else I’m going to spit cobra venom at you.”


“Hey Brielle. Momma just ate a turducken.”

“Don’t you just love this place, Nene? Peter’s calling it Bar One because there’s only one air vent in the bar.”

“Oh I’m sorry. I just thought about Cynthia, and it made me instantly nod off.”

“I am an attorney at law with very important clients. Now, tell me, what stripper company are you with? None? Well, I’m not sure this is a fit.”

“Momma, where did you get that ridiculous wig?”

“I wanted to see what I would look like with two-month grown out Joyce Dewitt hair.”

“You realize your wig is far more offensive than any long-dong’d stripper.”

“Sherayay, we in the hood!”
“You better keep your eyes on the road, Lawrence!”
“Girl, there ain’t no one on the road!”
“Girl, I think I just ran over a fisherman with a hook for a hand.”
“Lawrence, he comin’ over here.”
“Sherayay! What he doing?”
“I… I don’t know…. AWWW HELL NO, that fisherman put his penis in a drink!”

“Cheers to this God-awful bar that looks like a living room.”

Peter: “And now my big surprise: it’s a twelve foot I.O.U.!”

Sherayay: “Now THIS I can get behind!”

“HAHAHHAAHA this place is terrible.”

“Why did Peter design the floors to be at a 35 degree angle?”

What did you think about the episode?

13 replies on “REAL HOUSEWIVES OF ATLANTA: Bar One Is Atlanta’s Hottest Club!”

  1. I agree about Kim. The scene with her daughter was pretty endearing and Kroy actually seems to be taking this father thing seriously (much to my surprise).

    Phaedra has become a favorite this season as well. Strolling on in with that cake, I about died.

  2. I totally agree with your observations, with the exception of #3 – Nene is on my last nerve this season, it seems like she thinks she’s somehow more famous than the rest of the girls since she did “Celebrity Apprentice”. Yeah, you got into a fight with Starr Jones on the network that OWNS your mothership, yep, you’re A list now.

  3. I totally agree about Phaedra this season- she is definitely bringing some comedy to the scene. Kim I totally disagree about though. How she landed a man like Kroy is beyond me. She is, to quote the BH Housewives, a slut pig to me. So after a few seasons of vile behavior and sheer gall she is supposed to be the etiquette master now? I am sorry you can dress up a pig and send it to charm school but it is still a pig. She disgusts me on every level and how she ended up in the most normal and grounded relationship out of these women is beyond me. Still nails on a chalkboard to me though- sweeeeeeetieeeeeeee. Gah.

    Nene makes me laugh. I think I take everything she says as theatrical and as a joke so she doesn’t offend me like she offends others. I’d hang out with her 1,000 times before Sheree (and for all eternity over Kim) but maybe I am taking things as a joke that are serious. Who knows. She could be a total asshole for all I know. I did think it was completely lame for her to show up late to a co-hosted event. I doubt it had to do with Charles- I mean why would she care if he was there? If anything, if she was so allegedly butthurt as everyone seemed to think, wouldn’t the in-your-face Nene go there and go off on him anyway? Put him in his place and bloop on outta there girl.

  4. I’m in agreement about Phaedra. She is so damn entertaining to watch. And as much up her own ass NeNe is, she was the only housewife anyone was walking up to at that disastrous Bar One. Sheree couldn’t say that.

  5. I could sit and watch Lawrence all day long…he slays me. Phaedra is really fun to watch. Nene gets on my nerves with her giant ego….she needs to stop being so smug….are we to see Theresa go hog wild over being on Celebrity Apprentice next season? These women hardly need ego boosts.

    This recap had me rolling….and that picture of Sheray at the Fashion show almost gave us the first nip slip of the season. I usually expect that from Kim

  6. Let me jump on the Phaedra love pile. I’d heard that in real life she isn’t as bad as she was last season, and that she was playing it up for the cameras, so I’m glad to see that she can bring on the entertainment without being so vile.

    Now from the love pile onto my soapbox. None of these women except Cynthia live in Atlanta. They all live in distant suburbs, places where you can afford a McMansion for the price of a bungalow in the city. It is not a point of pride to live in the suburbs, and the fact that they all act like they’ve chosen luxury and exclusivity is hogwash. None of them could afford houses that garish if they actually lived in the city. All of this invented snobbery that comes with new money just kills me.

    Also, while I hear that the decor and clientele at Bar One are totally ghetto, it is not in the ghetto. The area is only recently gentrified, but it’s very happening and there are lots of condos, bars and restaurants in that neighborhood.

  7. I agree, Phaedra has been killing me this year. I love her southern drawl, and I love her outfits, especially her business suits. When she walked in with that fancy, uneven and slanted cake she looked adorable.

    In the wise words of awesome Lawrence: “Bar One? more like Bar None, hun”. That place is a dump. I was picturing downtown Atlanta, not some shack in the ‘hood. Peter sucks. He’s what Unsolved Mysteries called a “Sweetheart Swindler”…seems like a total scam artist.

  8. I’m a longtime reader but never comment however I must say this was one of your best lately B-side. The last caption killed me! Too funny! And yes I agree w the Phaedra love.

  9. I am from Atlanta and can assure you that Grant Park is not the hood. Also many Atlanta venues are in remodeled homes. Even the ritzy Buckhead district has bars styled like Bar One. Many of the housewives of Atlanta actually live in the suburbs or the outer perimeter, Peter and Cynthia are representative of Atlanta city residents.

  10. I must ask the age old question, why does Kim wear a wig? Look at her daughter’s full head of thick hair, highlighted blond to look just like her Mother’s wig. I just don’t get it, did she have early onset female pattern baldness? And Kroy, bless his heart, he doesn’t mind? I need to move to the ATL and pick me up a 25 year old grounded gentleman who isn’t afraid of baggage, weaves and cussing and, plays in the NFL. WTH?

    1. absolutely gypsy………why the wigs?

      they live in hotlanta so you know she’s sweating like a ho in church…

      <blockquote cite="I must ask the age old question, why does Kim wear a wig?

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