We’re coming down to the wire on Big Brother, and I find myself torn in many ways. On the one hand, I’ve found myself rooting for Rachel out of all people. After all, she is the unquestionable star of the season (as she was last year), and despite her ridiculous histrionics, she’s actually played a pretty strong game — albeit with some assists from the producers. With Brendon gone, she’s mellowed out quite a bit, and while I still can’t endorse her perpetual witch hunt against floaters, I gotta give it to Rachel that she really deserves to win this thing.

But then there’s the side of me that just loves twists and turns, and for as much as I’m wanting Rachel to win, I’m also rooting for a total reversal of fortune. I love me some underdogs, and if this thing comes down to two Veterans battling it out, I just won’t be happy. That’s why at the end of the day, I was hoping for nominees Kalia and Porsche to come off the block on Wednesday’s show. And for that to happen, we had to rely on Adam.

Effin’ Adam.

Adam seems like the nicest guy. He truly does. But he is one of the most worthless players of all time. I know, I know — I can’t defend the “floating” strategy in one breath and then bash Adam in another, but I guess what irks me about Adam is his style of floating. Sure, there’s some premeditation to it, but I do tend to think he just gravitates towards power in a relatively thoughtless way. I like floaters who are strategic, Machiavellian. Adam is neither (at least as far as I can tell). That’s why it was utterly painful to see him come away with the victory in last night’s Veto competition (which saw the return of lovable OTEV, this time in the form of a dumb shark. Bring back the clam who loves showtunes!!!!).

Anyway, Adam just barely eked out a win, which meant he had all the power. Kalia — who was a blubbering, crying mess (much to Rachel’s dismay, which was kiiiiind of throwing-stones-glass-house-y) — said it best when she needed the help of the one man who hates to get his hands dirty in this game. If Adam were to use the veto, then Jordan would have to go on the block, which would give the newbies a significant advantage. However, asking him to make such a move would mean that Adam would have to go against his idols, which apparently would be about as horrific a notion as him giving Tori Spelling the silent treatment.

Sure enough, Adam chose not to use the Veto, stating that he wanted to show he was a man of his word (which based on his constant fluctuating is not very true). It was all noble and everything, but the dumb lug didn’t seem to realize that taking the vets to the final three put the odds severely against him. No jury member would care about “his word,” and in a season where everyone is preoccupied with “big moves,” Adam’s passive choices are what will do him in.

Nevertheless, when it came time to vote, Jordan oddly cast her lot against Porsche while Adam went after Kalia. A surprise tie! But as expected, Rachel evicted Kalia’s ass, and that was the end of that.

Later, the Fortune Teller came to life and began feeding the house guests random clues that they then had to call upon during a tricky little trivia HOH competition. Adam managed to pull out his second consecutive win, which meant that if he did make it to the end, he would use the whole “I won when it mattered” card. I was really hoping for a Porsche victory because quite frankly, the last person I want to see in the top three is Adam, but alas the damage is done. What matters most is the veto (I know the results, but please if you do too, don’t spoil it for others here in the comments section).

At this point, I just want one thing: for Adam not to win the game.

Oh yeah! We also went to the jury house where a still angry Jeff refused to accept Shelly’s logic that it didn’t make sense for her to go to the final three with him and Jordan. Things got very tense, and Jeff threw strange accusations that didn’t really make sense — ie. claiming that Shelly opted to side with someone who breaks promises [Daniele] vs. someone who keeps them [Jeff]. I didn’t really see what that had to do with anything, particularly since Jeff had an implicit “promise” to Jordan to take her to the final two. Nevertheless, the bickering was a delight, especially when it came to Brendon, who just stood by with a goofy little grin on his face. WHY IS HE SO LIKABLE NOW???

Daniele, it should be noted, has returned to her bratty ways. Well, she probably never left them — I just chose to ignore them.

“Good evening. I’m Julie Chen, and I’m auditioning for role of Cheetara.”

“It’s day sixty-eight inside the Big Brother house, and what the house guests don’t know is that I’m auditioning for The Real Housewives of Orange County.”

“BUT FIRST… I must return to the Big Cats cage at the zoo.”

“What a wonderful day! I feel like calling up my very good friend, Mr. John TravOLLLLLTAAAAAAAAA!!!!”

“Don’t mind me. I’m just lying here, thinking of ways I can ensure I don’t win the $500,000.”

These two actually started climbing three hours ago.

A rare glimpse inside Rachel’s mouth.

“Oh shucks. I was too slow with my pie. Pie makes me think of cheesecake, and that makes me think of the Cheesecake Factory. And whenever I go to the Cheesecake Factory, I’m always like ‘Where are the conveyor belts?’ That makes me think of things like cars getting made. And cars are like trucks. And that makes me think of armored trucks. Those are for security. And that just made me realize something: I BET SOCIAL SECURITY IS A HOT BUTTON ISSUE BETWEEN MITT ROMNEY AND RICK PERRY!!!”

“There, there Kalia. Let my icy touch be of comfort to you.”

“[sniff sniff] This is like when Carrie [sniff] had to call it off with Aidan [sniff]. GOD I AM SUCH A CARRIE RIGHT NOW!!!”

“Boo hoo, girlfriend. Cue the violins. If you’re going to cry, shut up and find a bush to crawl into!”


“Cheers to you, Roz from Night Court.”

“I think I see a clown shoe at the bottom of the glass!!!”

“Daniele, just be honest with me: you want me to juice some oranges, don’t you?”

“Long time no see, BROS!!!”


“Hey Shelly, do me a favor and explain to me how betraying us when we would have never ever ever taken you to the final two was actually a good game move? I just don’t get it!”

Brendon: “Guys, I don’t mean to break this up, but I think you should both just hug it out. Or better yet, hug me. And then maybe we can juice some of those oranges.”

Kalia: “We have to make sure Adam uses that veto.”
Porsche: “Yeah… hey, do you ever get the feeling that we’re on a TV show or something?”

“You know what would be awesome? If I did something that wasn’t totally passive. Hahahahahha.”

“I wonder where dandelions come from.”


“Well, guys, I was already funny in one of my speeches — as you ALL remember, hahaha still laughing — so for this speech, I’ll just say that I hope everyone likes that I wore a marshmallow for my top.”

“Adam, I’m begging you: please play like an All-Star.”

“Play like a wallflower. GOT IT.”


“You know, Julie, I couldn’t help wondering: in the unstable housing market known as love, are we all just on the verge of being evicted?”

Julie: “Adam is the new Head of Household. Tune in tomorrow to see who he nominates, and who will be going home. Until then, you can find me at Jazzercize.”

What did you think about the episode? Did Adam make the right choice?

20 replies on “BIG BROTHER PHOTOCAP: Sharks and Floaters”

  1. I loved all the Adam bits. It’ll be so sad when he comes out of the house and realizes that he will be the first player in the game to be forgotten this season (unless he wins…which would be a total joke).

    And Jeff is a weenie.

  2. Jeff just keeps pi**ing me off…WHO does he think he is? Why does he think he and Jordan were somehow entitled to win this season? How can he call Shelly a liar and a back stabber when he himself both lied and back stabbed Brendon and Dani? This man needs a serious attitude adjustment. Shelly had every right to play the game any way she wanted. And to align with whomever she wished. If she wanted to switch side so what? So did Adam. For that matter they all have at one time or another. Enough already with his self righteous attitude!
    If Adam wins I may just throw a clown shoe at my TV. I could probably find one faster than Jeff.

  3. I’m usually very defensive of the floating/laying low strategy as I think it works pretty well in a game like big brother but Adam has shown no evidence that he’s even playing for himself anymore. Keeping Jordan and Rachel to go to the final 3 with them when he can not beat them makes no sense.

    Jeff is just a flat out sore loser.

  4. Did any of the newbies play strategically? Did they know how? They were all floaters

    Rachel FTW!!!

    Say what you will I love J&J

    1. How were Kalia and Porsche floaters? They both chose a side and stuck to it for the whole game. That’s definitely not a floater. Adam mindlessly floating to whoever wins HOH pisses me off to no end.

      I think Rachel deserves to win, but there’s something about Porsche I find really endearing. And I hope she can pull something off this week, since she’s pretty much the underdog going against a tight alliance.

      Btw has anyone mentioned how worthless Jordo is this season? Freaking Adam already has more comp wins then her. I don’t understand how she can say that Kalia and Porsche have slept the whole game when she hasn’t won a challenge since week two.

  5. It’s already been reported that Jordan did not want to go on this season, but Jeff did, so
    they thought they could spend the summer together since they live far apart.

    Floaters not, really? Kahlia and Porsche were with the veterans, then they were not, then they tried to make a 4 girl deal. Adam has done less floating than that. Actually, Kahlia was the biggest ass-kisser, from one hoh to the next.

    Go Rachel, you deserve this.

    1. Kalia/Porsche’s journey:
      Week 1-3: With the vets
      Week 4-end: With Daniele and Shelly

      Adam’s journey:
      Day 1: With the rookies
      Day 3: With the vets:
      Day 8: Back with rookies
      Week 2: With vets
      Week 4: With rookies
      Week 6: With vets
      Beginning of week 8: With rookies
      End of week 8: With vets

      just sayin

  6. Well we all know by now who won the Veto and who went home and if you don’t then you should be watching the show and not reading comments about the show.
    I am so happy for Porsche, and while she made a good choice in keeping Rachel, Jordan would have been easier to beat in competitions. But probably impossible to beat in votes. I would love to see Porsche and Rachel at the end. Although I’m sure Rachel would win, I’d still love to see Porsche make it to the end.
    I guess there is no Sunday night show so we’ll see what happens next week. It’s been fun!

  7. Oops I just read where there’s a major power outage out west (California?) So maybe some folks haven’t seen the show after all. I apologize if I spoiled it for anyone.

  8. OMG B-Side. Your comment regarding Julie and Jazzercize almost made me choke on the sugar-free Popsicle I should not be eating at 12:43am. Love you.

    I don’t like Porche. Don’t find her a bit endearing. But for some reason I always root for Rachel and most people seem to hate her, so maybe I’m just on my own planet. I’d love to see Rachel win. She’d undoubtedly be completely obnoxious and over-the-top about it, but whatever. Adam can come in second. Porche can return to her luxurious life as a VIP cocktail waitress, empty-handed.

  9. HA! I totally played out an entire scenario in my head where Adam gives Tori Spelling the silent treatment. That gave me a good laugh. What’s everyone got against floaters anyhow? The head hanchos took themselves out leaving none other than… the ultimate floater, Adam. It worked wonders for him. Although I would have liked to have seen more of the interrogative abrasive Adam. “WHY do you want to keep Danielle in this house so much? Your not answering the question- WHY do you want to keep Danielle in this house so much?”

  10. Maybe I don’t understand the veto rules, but if Adam were to have used the veto on Porshe or Kalia, what would have prevented Rachel from just putting up Adam himself? Winning veto allows you to pull someone off the block, but does it guarantee your own safety as well? I don’t think it does.

    1. When you win the veto you have the power to take someone off the block and the HOH is prevented from putting the veto winner up for elimination.

  11. The only thing I’m going to miss about Kalia not being in the house anymore are your Oprah captions about her very good friend John Travolta. I think that’s a sad thing to say about a person.

  12. Two weeks in a row watching a lying floater who went back and forth then beg and plead to stay was delicious!! Shelly tried to bribe Rachel with a ring and Kalia tried to bribe Adam with a chess piece. Morons. Buh Bye Kalia – your bed will miss you.

    I like Jeff’s weenie.


  13. Great recap. Glad I finally found this site since you left your old Gasm spot.

    Anyways. I suspect Adam will leave the game and find his balls waiting for him with Farrah, who cut them off and put them in a pickle jar before he went into the house.

    I would love for Rachelle to win the money. But come on, imagine giving all that money to an egotistical, narcissistic, co-dependent, mentally unstable person. It would magnify all of those bad traits to the 9th degree and I cannot live in a world with THAT type of Rachelle.

    So I’m pulling for Portia.

  14. Jeff made an excellent point…you were in a final four deal with people who had proven trustworthy TO YOU SHELLEY for the entire game so far…so you split off…destroyed the alliance and landed yourself in the jury house. Shelley is an idiot and worse, her move made no sense. Who KNOWS what would have happened before the final’s not like those four were guaranteed to make it all the way, just a promise to stick together as a group to ATTEMPT it. Like Jeff said, he told them to win something if they wanted to help the four-some..the man’s NOT President of BB-land who could decree them to be allowed to make it to final four unscathed. There was no guarantee it would be final 3 with J & J and Shelley…just a promise to attempt it. They were SOLID with her, but apparently, she thought she’d hook up with them and walk through to final 3 having won NOTHING. The bitch did NOTHING to help..and when her alliance needed her most, she didn’t only bail on them..she threw a live grenade in the middle of them. He’s right to be mad..he’s right she stole his chance at the $500 K as if she’d taken it out of his wallet. She’s crazy sitting there saying how she’s ‘smarter than you think’ and he’s right ‘apparently not’ because you’re sitting here like the rest of us. If Rachel doesn’t win this season, at this point, it’s a travesty.

  15. I disagree that MOST people hate Rachel. I am pretty sure it’s more like 50/50. If she gets to the final 2, I think we can all agree she has Jeff, Jordan, and Brendon’s votes. She will need one of Dani, Shelley, Kalia, & Adam/Porsche. Hopefully, she wins HOH, remembers Dani said Adam is the worst player ever, and votes out Porsche. She would then likely get Dani’s vote.

    Go Rachel! Finish this thing. Half of BB’s audience is rooting for you.

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