It was the best of times, it was the worst of times for Brenchel. No sooner had Brendon returned to the Big Brother house, he was up on the block, facing eviction for the second time in three weeks. Alas, such is the cruel fate for lovers in reality TV. Pairs must be broken up, especially when said pairs are strong, annoying, and occasionally mopey.
However, with Shelly on the block, there was still hope for Booki. After all, Shelly had been playing all sides of the house and had managed to piss everyone off in the process. Plus, her greatest allies — Jeff and Jordan — were even greater allies with Brendon and Rachel. And thus, this was not as open and shut a case as you’d think…
At least, that’s what I thought going into the episode. The moment we glimpsed the houseguests all decked out in athletic gear except for Brendon, it was pretty obvious who was going home. Clearly everyone was gearing up for some sort of arduous Head of Household competition, except for Booki, whose on imminent challenge would be fielding the Chenbot’s questions.
Sure enough, despite some attempts at misdirection by the producers, Booki was sent packing after Jeff and Jordan couldn’t find the votes to keep him in. All they needed to do was sway their loyal minion Adam, but just as Adam foiled Dani’s plan to oust Rachel last week, he now screwed over Jeff and Jordan by refusing to go against Shelly. Quite squirrelly that guy is. Sooner or later, he’ll face the wrath of the house, I’m sure.
Speaking of wrath, where is the wrath lately? Why haven’t we had a knock-down, drag-out fight yet this season? Sure, there have been some raised voices and tense screaming, but we need some serious rage, and it’s looking like our only hope is in Rachel, who all in all is much gentler this season. Here’s to hoping her next week with Booki is filled with strife and hormonal anger.
As for the rest of the episode, we got to spend time with Shelly’s sweet daughter, and that’s about it. We didn’t even get HOH results, thanks to a competition that required contestants to slide along a course filling up a massive bowl of liquid. Not the most scintillating episode of all time. Here’s the photocap:
“Hello, I’m Julie Chen, and I’m going to a hoedown.”
“Rachel, please stop doing that. You know how offensive I find your Asian impersonation.”
“Booki, I wish we could stay here and reenact Romeo + Juliette forever.”
“Admit it girls: you think I’m sexy as fuck.”
Porsche: “It’s funny — sometimes I wonder if dinosaurs had cars.”
“Anyway, I’m off to grab another snack. Do you want anything? Of course, I say that in a truly friendly way, not from a professional perspective that might suggest I’m a LUXURIOUS VIP waitress, WHICH I’M NOT.”
“Love you, Porsche!”
“I like my propeller hat. Propellers make me think of planes, and planes remind me of the sky. And the sky is blue. And blue is also the color of whales when I draw them. And I love whales. I always think that whales are, like, fish, but they’re not. They’re fake fish. It’s like when you go to a vegan restaurant and get fake sushi. And sushi makes me think of sake bombs. And oh my gosh! I just realized: there totally was a bombing in Kabul today!!!”
“Rachel, don’t give me that face. You need to settle down, Jessica Fletcher.”
“You know, Julie, it’s been a tough week, but sometimes you just gotta grab your balls and be a MAN.”
Chenbot: “How difficult would it be for you to say goodbye to Brendon again, Rachel?”
“GUUUUUUUUUUUUUURL, you have no idea.”
Chenbot: “Error. Unknown syntax. Cannot compute. System shutting down.”
“Why am I the only one dressed like this? I thought this was Little House on the Prairie Week.”
“I just want to say it’s been a thrill playing this game, and I hope you let me stay in the house, BRO.”
“EVICTEES GRAB YOUR SENSE OF DEJA VU!”
“Now open for hugs!!! Who wants one? You? You?”
“This is worse than taking a long, hard deuce on the can, BRO.”
What did you think about the episode? Did Jeff and Jordan make the right decision?