What a strange world we live in: Lawon became slightly less terrible, I’m rooting for Daniele Donato, and according to Porche, what I always thought to be the elbow is actually the shoulder. Who knew? Yes, bizarre happenings on the latest Big Brother, and all of them were entertaining. From watching Rachel bite it during a ridiculous running session around the backyard to seeing Adam prance around in an elf-costume, we definitely were left with some entertaining visuals tonight.
Perhaps the most satisfying image of all (aside from the aforementioned Rachel tumble) was seeing Daniele take home the victory during the endurance Head of Household competition. Sure, she was a little cocky up on those skis, but her snottiness was well-deserved, especially with the rest of the house rooting against her and Kalia.
I must ask questions now. How did Kalia become so universally despised by the vets? I mean, sure she knew about the Jeff and Jordan backdoor scheme, but did that really warrant her being given the proverbial scarlet letter? Maybe it’s just that she ran her mouth with Brendon out on the lawn. Methinks there’s more to this story than what’s made it to air. Commenters, feel free to fill me in since I haven’t been following the feeds super closely (that’s all changing now though because I just ordered Showtime for Big Brother After Dark. Obsessed).
Either way, Brenchel certainly hates Kalia, repeatedly calling her a superfloater. They also insisted that she was a “nobody” outside of the house, an attack with the laughable implications that Brendon and Rachel are actually “somebodies.” Nevertheless, Brenchel enjoyed an obligatory post-loss pouting session in which they complained about Kalia, complained about Daniele, and probably complained about the fabric in that awful purple room. Nothing is fair for them: it’s not fair that floaters waft along, going with the flow; it’s not fair that people like Daniele make big moves. I’m not sure what constitutes acceptable gameplay for these two, but as far as I can tell, there’s very little that does.
Once the HOH competition was over, the episode settled into a rather calm groove. The house endured Daniele’s HOH room reveal, Rachel fell on her face, and Lawon shared a rather poignant story about coming out to his grandmother. It was a rather refreshing scene because for once, Lawon wasn’t yelling loud proclamations at the camera like a low-rent Queen of Jordan impersonation. Of course, there was still plenty of that on the episode, but for at least three minutes, he was tolerable. Even likable. (According to live feeds watchers, this is the real Lawon, not the silly caricature that CBS presents us with).
Nevertheless, the Vets all pled their cases to Daniele, and in the end, she wound up nominating Brendon and Rachel. It was a strong play, but I couldn’t help thinking that an even better move would have been to put up Brendon and Jeff instead. Such a move would have forced the Vets to campaign against each other, and from the inevitable chaos, surely Daniele could have taken the bullseye off her back. Oh well.
“Beverly Hills 90210? More like 9021-SNOW! Get it? Get it? Ah, I kill me.”
“Y’all don’t mind me. I’m just auditioning for CSI: Aspen.”
“HOOO-WEEE! That skiing was CAH-RAY-ZEEE!!!”
“And here I thought my arms would be strong enough to support me. You know that means: not huggin’ enough people.”
“Rachel, I’m sorry I fell.”
“That’s okay, Booki. I think it’s cute that you’re a failure. Now go find me an igloo to cry in.”
“Can we never stop hugging?”
“Um, ain’t no hug getting between me and MY man!”
“I wish I were somewhere much warmer. Maybe I should charter a plane piloted by my good friend Mr. John TRAVOOLLLLLTAAAAAAA!!!!!”
“I don’t know if I can last. My shoulders really hurt. And as well know, the shoulders are attached to the feet.”
“My arms really hurt a lot. I hope I don’t go to a hospital. Hospitals make me think of sick people, and sick people make me think of medicine. And my favorite medicine is, like, Vicks Vapor Rub, and that makes me think of Michael Vick, and Michael Vick plays football, and oh my gosh, the Bengals totally traded Chad Ochocinco to the Patriots!”
“Yetis grab a snowball!!!!”
“Gosh, my shoulders gave out, which is funny because I don’t even know what shoulders are.”
“Here you go. Take your key. Congratulations. BITCH.”
“It’s not fair. All I want right now is a catalog from Crabtree and Evelyn.”
“Daniele, we don’t want you to nominate us; so just settle down, DJ Tanner.”
“Ain’t no raised patio getting between me and MY run!”
“Joggers grab your Band-Aids!!”
“By the way, Jeff, I totally saw your balls.”
“Booki! This is awful! I hate this food as much as I love science, WHICH I LOVE!”
“Houseguests, you are now all to vote on how comfortable you feel about having my vajayjay so close to so many sardines.”
“Daniele, I’m coming in for a hug whether you like it or not.”
“You tell her, Booki!”
Brendon: “ohmigod ohmigod ohmigod it’s happening.”
“The one thing we hate more than floaters are people who make big moves. So… basically we hate everyone.”
“Brendon and Rachel, this isn’t personal. It’s just… well… yeah, it’s personal.”
What did you think about the episode? Glad to see Daniele in power?