The three week Moroccan event continued last night on The Real Housewives of New York City, and the second installment saw the much-hyped fight between Jill and Ramoner. The two women had seemed to be getting along, but there was still plenty they needed to air out at the riad should they want to enjoy the rest of their vacation without a giant camel in the room.
Here’s how it went down: Ramona very nervously and very sincerely told Jill that her feelings were hurt because she felt Jill was being two-faced. Jill nodded, then asked for specific instances, and then went on the attack. What ensued was the most frustrating confrontation EVAR.
Here’s what made the fight so maddening: both women actually had valid emotional issues that needed to be addressed, but neither one was hearing the other. Jill didn’t really want to listen to what Ramona had to say until she got an apology about Scary Island (she was still bristling over having been rejected after her surprise appearance last year), and Ramona wasn’t about to apologize for Scary Island until Jill acknowledged that she was two-faced.
I must admit that I liked Jill’s point about being two-faced in order to remain civilized (because if everyone said whatever they felt, Jill claimed, we’d be stuck with a bunch of Ramonas). However, I think this was an oversimplification. It’s one thing to bite one’s tongue to be polite; it’s another to actively talk smack behind someone’s back.
Nevertheless, Ramona had a strong point of her own: when Jill was crying that Ramona had ruined her last chance to make up with Bethenny, Ramona happily reminded her that Jill lived JUST DOWN THE BLOCK. She didn’t need to go to the island to make peace. Furthermore, Ramona made a second, excellent point, which is that had LUANN not dragged Jill out of Ramona’s apartment prior to all of this, the two women probably would have made up.
Well, none of that happened, and now we were stuck with these two women bickering in circles. By the time the episode ended, it looked like their friendship was dunzo, but I’m hoping that with the screaming out of their system (and by “their,” I mean, “Jill’s”), they can now talk it over like adults. You know, like Cindy and Sonja did.
Backing up a bit, we had another major imbroglio this episode. Let me set the scene: the women were all piling into vans for a fanciful afternoon at the Souq when all of a sudden, LuAnn felt the need to hit the Little Countesses Room. “Save my seat,” she told Sonja quickly as she galloped away.
WELL.
Here came Cindy Barshop, who seemed absolutely determined to sit where LuAnn had placed her clutch. When Sonja delivered the devastating news that she was saving the seat for the Countess, Cindy lost her shit. She exclaimed that no one could tell her what to do and then accused Sonja of being infantile (although, technically, I believe it was Cindy’s petty attitude over van seating that most exemplified juvenile behavior). Anyway, this ridiculousness somehow blew up into the biggest fight ever, causing the various women to switch from van to van like some awful slapstick movie from the ’40s (a slapstick movie I would certainly watch for hours on end, I should note).
Later, when the women arrived at the marketplace, Cindy decided to have it out with Sonja, who was already on edge thanks to the threat of pickpockets and rapists. The two began bickering, and even though Sonja tried to walk away, Cindy was not going to drop it. Finally, she called in the Countess, who delivered my second favorite line of the night: “Is this all going down at the souq?”
Needless to say, Cindy was on edge. Later, when the women all ate dinner in a tent in the desert, Cindy couldn’t handle all the cross-gab. There was an attempt to streamline the conversation by holding a mini-tagine, but of course, the moment that it fell into Cindy’s hands, she was immediately interrupted by one of the many drunken, ready-to-squawk mouths at the table. Honestly, it looked like everyone was having a blast. Cindy’s just kind of a Debbie Downer (even though it was Alex who brought the mood down with revelations of her father dying of Alzheimers — way to dismiss that, Countess).
As for my favorite quote of the night, that also came from LuAnn, who remarked, “Once the camel stopped seizing, the night was magical!”
Amazing.
The context for that line came from an adventurous camel ride that had LuAnn bucking and whooping with fear as her camel wisely attempted to eject her. I’m glad the Countess wasn’t hurt, especially because now it’s okay for us to laugh at her as she got shaken around like a rag doll. Better yet was her post camel rapture expression: she clasped her heart with her hand, paused, and then tossed her hair back dramatically. It’s a moment that will no doubt live on in drag queen infamy.
As for the rest of the episode, there was just too much for me to even capture here. I know I’ve omitted everything, but I just want to post this photocap already.
Kelly: “What the fortune teller is saying is that you are feeling nervous.”
LuAnn: “Kelly, I’ve got this: Ramona, your husband is leaving you. Maybe he saw how BITCHY you were, not sharing your David Meister contacts.”
Ramona: “Mario is a hot stud, and LuAnn wants to do him. That’s just wrong. No. You know what it is? Déclassé. Sorry. It’s déclassé!”
“Oh my GOODNESS, Ramona! I can’t believe you’re getting divorced!”
“Who said anything about a divorce?”
“Well, the fortune teller said there was another woman, and let’s face it, men are NO GOOD CHEATING ASSHOLES. If you need an attorney–“
“I’m not getting divorced.”
“Who gets custody of Avery? I CAN’T EVEN DEAL.”
“WE ARE STAYING TOGETHER!”
“Let it out, Ramona. Let it out. Divorce is never easy.”
“Listen, you are a crazy drunk, Sonja, and I love that about you. I LOVE THAT ABOUT YOU. Now, where are our sexy kaftans?”
“Oh look, ladies. Poors!”
Sonja: “I hate to break it to you, Cindy, but LuAnn asked me to save her seat.”
“Listen, I’m not going to take bullshit from anyone, let alone a grown woman dressed like a wedding cake.”
Cindy: “And as long as we’re having it out, I think we know the real reason why you’re clinging onto that bag of yours. YOU’RE TRANSPORTING STOLEN HANGERS!”
Cindy: “I mean, first you steal my hangers, then you tell me where to sit — this is the craziest thing I’ve ever seen. It’s like… seriously?”
“See, you could have nailed a joke right there.”
“You’re always so obsessed with jokes. It’s like… forget it.”
“Another punchline opportunity blown.”
Sonja: “Do you see that shifty man over there? I’m very concerned. My security is paramount. That’s why I decided to bring a giant bag that’s easy to pluck things out of.”
“You know what, Cindy? You have the worst manners! OUT OF MY SOUQ!”
Mustafa: “Just so you know, LuAnn called seat-back on this camel.”
Cindy: “WELL IT’S MINE NOW! I mean… seriously?”
LuAnn: “Isn’t this just a gas?”
Cindy: “It’ll be even more fun if this camel takes me to MY HANGERS.”
LuAnn: “What do you mean, you’re not riding a camel?”
Sonja: “Well, I was going to ride that one, but Cindy doesn’t respect the rules of camel-seat-back.”
Cindy: “I mean… seriously?”
“BAAAAAWWWBY, I covered this camel with ZAAAAAAAAArin FAAAAAAAbrics!”
LuAnn: “WooooAAAAhhhhoooooAAAAHHH!!! If this camel doesn’t settle down, I’m going to have to name him JACQUES!”
“Would you believe the camel tried to buck me off? Not in Morocco. NEVER IN MOROCCO!”
“Grabbing my boob? Well this man is HARDLY a gentleman. But I’ll do him.”
LuAnn: “Ladies, I’m so glad you all are here. Now let’s all speak over each other in three-two-one….”
Everyone: “BLAH BALH ABLHA BLAH BALLHA BALHAB LAHABALH BLAH MY FATHER DIED OF ALZHEIMERS BLAH BLAH BLAH BLHA.”
“Why does LuAnn always get to wear the miniature tagine on her head? I want to talk. I mean… seriously?”
“I’m such a dumb-dumb! I forgot to insult all the men guiding us with the camels!”
“As the wearer of the miniature tagine, I have the floor. First things first: would you believe what a downer Alex is? I mean, hang me with a noose already.”
Alex: “Well, I was just sharing–“
“Excuse me, but I have the tagine. Moving on: I think we can all agree that Ramona is a bitch. Yes?”
“Okay, Cindy, would you like the Tagine of Talk now?”
“Yes.”
“Well, you’ll just have to wait your turn then. Here, Jill.”
Ramona: “What is that? Is that sexting? Is that what they call sexting?”
“No, this is Skyping.”
“Skyping? I don’t get it. What’s Skyping?”
“It’s when you use webcams to talk to each other.”
“No. I don’t like that. That’s not communication.”
“Well, it’s the best I can do.”
“Wait a second, are you Skyping with David Meister?”
“No. Of course not.”
“Because he’s my signature look. And I promised my very good friend Jeff Furman that I would never give up my contacts there, and then Cindy’s brother said, ‘I have a contact with David Meister too,’ and I thought ‘Why did he have to say that like that?’ I’m getting emotional now.”
“Um, do you mind? I’m trying to have cybersex.”
“So what you’re saying, Ramona, is that you just had violent diarrhea, and now you’re soaking in this hot tub?”
“Yup!”
Sonja: “Oh gosh. I smell something.”
Ramona: “Oh that must be the Marrakech Surprise! Got one at the Souk when I was drunk. You know what they say: spicy going in, spicy coming out!!!”
Ramona: “Listen, how was I supposed to know you wanted to tickets to the Woody Allen movie and not Kung Fu Panda 2?”
“Until you apologize for dragging me to see Kung Fu Panda 1 AND 2, we can NEVER be friends!”
Jill: “Why would you think I would EVER want to see that movie???”
“I don’t know. I thought you liked pandas.”
“She hates pandas!”
Whose team are you on? Ramona or Jill? And furthermore, Cindy or Sonja?
I cringed when Ramona, rather than trying to comfort a drunk, emotional Sonja, instead blurted out “Well, your husband was like 70 years old and had been married 4 times. I mean, when you marry for money… I mean I married for love.” Wow. Just wow. And Sonja just sat there and nodded. I think I would’ve punched Ramona in the face.
I’m at the point where I just want to punch all of them in the face. They can line up and I’ll just go down the line. I think I’m over this franchise. Didn’t even see the episode.
I don’t feel sympathic towards either Jill nor Ramona. I am finding them both pretty annoying. Everyone’s the victim. Enough already with the victim dramatics. I find it hard to believe these people are adults.
I don’t think Cindy knew what she was getting into with this crew because she constantly seems incredulous that she has to deal with lunatics all the time. I do feel like Sonja antagonizes Cindy for some reason–that Cindy’s the “new girl” and consequently doesn’t deserve the time of day. It’s all very uncomfortable to watch.
That being said, I continue to watch….
Cindy saw previous seasons, she was very, very hip as to what and with whom she was signing a contract to film. I think the Beave just adopted this “downtown Rock ‘n Roll” persona to portray that she doesn’t pull off very well. As a N.Y Magazine recapper said: “Once you call it Rock ‘n Roll…it isn’t” , and he’s familiar with what NYC’s downtown really is.
I’m pretty sure Cindy “knew” what she was going to put up with but actually experiencing it firsthand and having it happen to her is what caused her to question these women. It’s one thing to see it on t.v and maybe correspond with the women once in awhile but it’s another to actually have all of them in one room going crazy.
If you can make that a pay-per-view event, I am watching…I would love to see Secretary Clinton greet them at the airport and slap every one of those heiffas in the face on behalf of the USA.
I’m with you, onbakerstreet, except I’d use a crisp slap instead of a punch.
A small annoyance for me was when LuAnn had the nerve to criticize Alex’s camel-riding outfit when she was dressed similarly!
Is it just me, or does anyone else think Kelly is the voice of reason this season?!
Strangely, yes!
Maybe she is on her meds this season.
Oh, i’m still waiting for her to lose her shit. And I’m confident that she will!!
I think Cindy is better off to be friends with men. I don’t think she has ever spent time among women before.
I couldn’t believe what LuAnn said about Alex’s father. I was shocked that Alex was only 11 when she lost her father. I wonder how old he was. That info was more profound then Sonja saying she likes to garden.
I am loving the Moroccan vacation.
I agree….she’s used to dealing with women’s private parts…..not their actual personalities. I also think Cindy is trying to be Bethany during the interviews..the only problem is…she isnt funny.
It’s kind of ironic that Sonja passed on the camel riding when, so far this season, she seems so desperate for a good humping.
Now that that’s out of my system…During her argument with Jill, Ramona made a couple of good points that, had Jill actually been listening, she might have heard. By the time she traipsed down to Scary Island, it was already too late for her to repair her relationship with Bethenny. Too much damage had already been done. Jill had a perfect chance to talk to Bethenny when Ramona schemed them both into coming to her apartment. Had LuAnn kept her nose out of everyone’s business, Jill and Bethenny might have been able to make some headway at that time. I know these ladies like to pick the most inappropriate of times and places to air their gripes and grievances, but Jill can’t honestly think that just showing up, uninvited and out of the blue, on Scary Island was the best way to deal with things. Ramona is wrong about a hell of a lot of things a hell of a lot of the time, but I have to give her some credit on this one.
Word.
hb
LuAnn is definitely an arrogant control freak. How dare she make that comment about alex father. she is soooo shallow. It is scary that Kelley is coming across as the voice of reason. If Jill would only watch the tapes she would see how bad Ramona
felt. And BTW Beth didn’t want to talk to her anyway. She was so out of line not calling first. I just couldn’t believe that Jill brought this up. Take the thumb out of your mouth.
Cindy you are far too sane to be on this show.Did you not watch this show before.
Wow, peri-menopause at it’s finest!!! Kelly does seem to be the least crazy, self-involved
“housewife” this season.
I had to gag when I learned that someone was going to wash Ramona “everywhere” after the way she “blew up her room like a rock star”.
I can’t believe Jill is blaming Ramona for her estrangement from bethenny. Ramona tried to get them back together. Jill was having none of it and Luann was nosing in trying to keep them apart. Jill needs to take personal responsibility for her own actions.
This trip has been so hilarious. I love it.
Sonja walking around clutching her oversize bag as Cindy chases her around for a fight was too comical.
I have to give props to Jill. She was like “Oh no ladies, this is not the time to look cute. Wear sneakers and a fanny pack.” Haha. Good for her.
When they’re all together like this, the crazy that comes out is like none other. Most groups would try to have a fun night at the tent,, but these women have never-ending passive aggressive tendencies.
I’ve always thought that the biggest loss from Bethenny’s departure is Kelly’s crazy. Noone brought it out of her like Bethenny did. Kelly was just too jealous and hateful of Beth.
I think the way Bethanny brought out the crazy out of Kelly, Sonja sort of does the same to Cindy. Anyone remember Kelly’s first season? She used to freak out when the ladies would fight with each other. Same thing’s happening to Cindy.
As for the Jill and Ramona fight…eh. I’m biased. I hate Jill for being such a huge bitch. It began with Bethanny then she just talks shit about EVERYONE in her interviews. Fine, everyone talks behind people’s backs but in on-camera interviews hardly counts as “behind their backs”. And she pulls that shit on people she doesn’t even have beef with. I’m regularly left with WTF? confusion when she makes nasty little remarks about supposed friends or people she’s just met. And her terrible posture annoys me.
Great work! I think this actually might be one of your best ever! I mean, I know a component of that might come down to the fact I’m still drunk from last night, but still..
How can anyone think Cindy is sane? She may be saner than Kelly but that doesn’t say a lot. I mean stolen hangers? If her room was truly ransacked as she said, do you think the first thing she’s going to worry about it hangers? And Luann did ask Sonya to save her seat – what the heck is the big deal Cindy? You don’t even like Sonya, why would you want to sit next to her. I think she heard Luann tell her to save the seat and Cindy just wanted to cause trouble. She came on way too strong for her first season. Don’t like her any more than I like Jill, Kelly or Luann.
Yes, I don’t understand why she kept saying “who does she think she is” and was upset at Sonja about being “told what to do” when it was LuAnn that claimed the seat. She obviously just wanted to get into it with Sonja after the pecking order lecture.
Also, I loved how right after Cindy threw a fit, Ramona came out, started to sit down, and when Sonja told her that seat was for LuAnn, she just said, Oh ok, and got in the back seat, like a NORMAL person would react. Very telling.
Cindy has been reminding me of Danielle from RH New Jersey….every little thing is a personal attack on, and she goes full-blown psycho. Except, Danielle is bonafied psycho and Cindy just pretends (as we know from her revelation at the African Drum Therapy session). She needs to get a grip. And why the eff is every single thing in her house white? Oh, and I loved how she wanted compared the Moroccan spa (historical and tradiational, mind you) to her vajayjay spa in New York City. Yeah Cindy, TOTALLY the same thing. On her website, she is now offering vag henna tattoos “Vatoos” inspired by her trip to Moracco….huh?!?! Did I miss the vag tattoo booth at the marketplace?
Sonja clutching her amazingly oversized straw bag while talking with Cindy at the marketplace was hillarious. She kinda reminded me of Jessica Tandy for some reason.
As cookoo as Ramona might be now, she brought up some valid points about the Jill/Bethanny/Island thing. Jill had AMPLE opportunity to mend things with Bethanny before that trip. By making the “it’s your fault I never made up with Bethanny” argument with Ramona, she’s (again) passing along the blame of the destruction of their relationship to someone else. It was Bethanny’s fault cuz she didn’t visit Bobby when he was sick. Now it’s Ramona’s fault because she kicked the Zarin’s out of Scary Island.
Its all the apologies that every one needs, what is up with that? an insincere apology is a good thing? and the saving the seat BS, all the squabbles are all 6th grade stuff.
Sonja and Ramona are embarrassing, I LOVE Cindy calling Sonja out, and Kelly OMG she is the normal one auhmazing
I agree with the comments about Kelly. She seems to be the only one who understands they’re on a trip of a lifetime (as she’s mentioned 46 times) and seems to be the most willing to go with the flow. She’s genuinely excited about their activities.
For someone who claims to be supremely cultured and well traveled, Sonja seems most fish out of water here. Cindy seems to detest everything about this woman (leaving this typo in remembrance of Danielle) but she brings nothing crazy/funny to the table.
I was (slightly) drunk when I watched but I couldn’t get enough of those camels. LuAnn’s camel was hilarious! He also ate Jill’s bracelet. He should replace Cindy as the newest housewife.
I WOULD NOT have gone near that diarreah soup Ramona was swimming in.
“LuAnn’s camel was hilarious! He also ate Jill’s bracelet. He should replace Cindy as the newest housewife.”
I am so glad I wasn’t eating or drinking anything when I read this because I laughed so hard I would have lost everything in my mouth…
“LuAnn’s camel was hilarious! He also ate Jill’s bracelet. He should replace Cindy as the newest housewife.”
Hahahaha! Totally agree Chick110. Comment of the year!!!!!!
It killed me at the souk when at the end of the Sonja/Cindy commotion Sonjy gets the last word by saying “I am NOT inviting her to tea again!” I don’t know why but that really made me laugh. Awesome recap!!
Spicy going in, spicy coming out … Kung Fu Panda 2 … miniature tagine … the poors …
I love you, BSide! Let’s get married. You can regale me with your deliciously witty repartee. In exchange, I offer the $0.35 that I have to my name and a solemn promise to tell you how awesome you are at least 26 times per day. It will be a souq-cessful relationship, no?