When we last caught up with The Real Housewives of Atlanta, Nene and Kim were in the midst of an loud, angry, and generally silly brawl about Kim’s alleged manner of addressing her assistant, Sweetie. Nene didn’t like the way Kim treated her; Kim felt it was none of Nene’s business. They were both right, but ultimately, it truly was none of Nene’s business, which is why everyone was puzzled as to why she was so fired up about it. That being said, it was clear the fight was about more than just Kim’s demeanor. Nene had unfinished business and unresolved emotion with her frenemy, and it all spilled out in not just last week’s imbroglio but also about five different impasses on last night’s episode.

The show began with the women still fighting, and for all of about thirty seconds, they returned to civility as they strutted off the tour bus and rejoined their cast mates — Phaedra (who looked surprisingly good — or at least as good as she can look), Cynthia, and Sherayay. There were hugs hello, and Kim greeted everyone with her new favorite word, “love.” As in, “Hi, LOOOVE!!!” It was all very Michaele Salahi 2010.

Anyway, much to the shock of the non-bus-bound women, the bickering started anew, with Nene happily volunteering to choke Kim and squeeze her eyeballs out (with an added “Bloop bloop” for emphasis). I know we were supposed to be enthralled by this ridiculousness, but I cared more about the strange velociraptor peeking out of the bushes in the background. That’s right: velociraptor.

Turns out the women had arrived at the estate of Kim’s friend, who is not only a saucy, German real-estate mogul, but also a collector of anything tacky, life-sized, and vaguely threatening in a “What would happen if all these things came to life in the middle of the night?” way. Not only did the guy have several dinosaurs on display, but also his childhood dog (taxidermied), several fake butlers, and a good amount of art that needed to be blurred out for the Bravo cameras. Watching Phaedra and the others examine the works was a thing of a beauty (and comedy). A later examination of a centaur on a ceiling mural caused further amusement. The Sistine Chapel this was not.

Amusingly, even though the German dude (I forget his name. Robert? I’ll call him Fritz) was more than accommodating the women, Nene was anything but friendly to him. First she mocked his friendship with Kim, and then she dissed his artistic vision (calling the place a zoo). True, it was a zoo, and true, it was tackier than most things we’ve seen on the Housewives, but Nene could have been a hell of a lot more gracious.

Truth was that Nene was a monster this episode. We had a return to Season Two Nene, who was less fun and snappy and more brash and spoiled. As awesome as Nene is, she truly is a diva, and when things don’t go her way, she’s awful.

Nene went particularly nuts when Sherayay’s main gay Lawrence popped up at the estate. In case you’d forgotten, one of the main triggers of the explosive fight last week was Kim requesting rooms for her assistant Sweetie and Kandi’s assistant Don Juan. Nene made a whole big stink about it being a girls-only weekend, which is why the arrival of Lawrence further set her off.

Oh, the girls-weekend. Or the girls-night. Is there ever and event that causes more drama for the Housewives? Lest we forget Ramona vs. Simon at Jill’s dinner party? Or how about Vicki vs. everyone during HER trip to Miami last season? There’s always at least one person who screws up the event’s mandate, and there’s always one woman who goes ballistic about it. Heck, there should be a reality show called “Girl’s Weekend” where a group of women attempts to execute such a thing WITHOUT bringing a plus-one. It’s a goal loftier than world peace, it seems.

Anyway, Nene soon brought her friend Diana out to Miami, and when Kim saw this, she told Sweetie not to leave. This got Diana all in a tizzy, and she began uttering my favorite demand: “Keep my name out of your mouth!” It’s truly the most ridiculous thing to say, especially because Diana meant it very literally. She did NOT want Kim to say her name at all. Kim noted that she simply said the word “Diana” as a point of reference, but that was more than Diana could comprehend. Kim then asserted that she found it hilarious that Nene had made such a big deal about Sweetie staying at the house when she herself had brought Diana along. At this point Nene noted that she had NOT made a big deal about Sweetie. Um, Nene, we all adore you, but maybe you ought to rewind the tapes. You know, to the part where you got up in Kim’s face with your finger and SCREAMED.

Luckily, we had Kandi on hand to do her patented sideways glance. That’s right, Kandi. You keeping it real. Also, let’s give a shout out to Kandi’s hair. Brushed back, it looked ten times better and stripped several years off her. I don’t know why she insists on keeping that lil’ red poof.

Well, the shit show continued as the group headed to a HUGE outdoor music venue (a.k.a. a random stage with about two hundred people watching) where Kandi sang her anthem, “Fly Above,” which was allegedly written about Kim (according to Kim). Kim also dressed up like Tweetie Bird and sang “Tardy for the Party,” which is always a treat. Afterwards, the women watched Cynthia strut around in a fashion show, and while the woman is gorgeous, Phaedra wasn’t out of line for making light out of certain cottage cheese qualities of her physique.

Afterwards, the gang reconvened for lunch where Cynthia devolved into tears as the ladies asked questions about the upcoming wedding. Nene gladly pounced on her friend and suggested that they leave Miami RIGHT AWAY and go back to Atlanta where they could sit in pajamas and get facials. LAME. This was quickly turning into a Ronnie-Sammi situation.

Luckily, Sherayay wasn’t about to let a night of strippers go to waste. She marched into Cynthia’s room and reminded her that the women had flown down to Miami to support her (translation: BITCH, I spent money to get here!) and that they could still have fun (translation: did you forget that we have STRIPPERS?). To the dismay of Nene, Cynthia decided to enjoy her final night in Miami, which meant it was time to cue the men dancing in thongs. Ahem, I mean “Entertainers of the night,” as Phaedra calls them. Turns out these guys were her clients, which made little sense to anybody. In fact, I’m not sure I understand much of Phaedra’s client roster. So far we’ve seen a pothead, a spurned member of Destiny’s Child, and now two strippers. Oh, and Bobby Brown. It’s a colorful group, to say the least.

Nevertheless, the girls did manage to have a fun time with the entertainers of the night. There was also some randy bedroom talk, and once again, Phaedra proved to be hilarious when she gave Kandi a high five after purporting to love oral sex. It doesn’t translate into text, but just know that the moment elicited a belly-laugh.

Next week, all this wedding crap comes to a head with a will-she or won’t-she runaway bride moment for Cynthia. Can’t say I care very much, but hey, as long as there’s good drama, I’ll be happy. Here’s the photocap:

Sherayay: “What the hell happened on that tour bus?”
Cynthia: “And why is there a velociraptor in the hedges?”

Nene: “I’m gonna squeeze out your eyes: bloop bloop!”
“Bitch, you choked me.”
“And I’d do it again, if I could!”
“Well, let me get a smoke in first. Hey, that can be my new song: ‘Don’t get choked before you’ve smoked. Whoa oooh whoa oooh whoaa oooh whoaa. Her hands are around my neck / girl, i say what the heck? / I need to grab a ciggy / before we gone get jiggy / whoa-oooh-whoa-ooooooh-whoaaaa / tightrope.”

Sherayay: “Look at this huge tour bus!”
Phaedra: “You know, I represent many tour bus companies, who in turn drive around many ENTERTAINERS OF THE NIGHT.”

“I don’t know why Nene is such a bitch. It’s my life. If I want to call you a slave, I can do that. I just want to be free.”
Sweetie: “Um, as the slave, I think I’m supposed to want freedom.”
“Whatever. Get me some Chick Fil-A. NOW!”

“Hey y’all, I just peed in the jacuzzi. So what? It’s my life.”

“Excuse me. I don’t bring no drama, okay? So keep my name out of your mouth. If you say ‘Diana,’ it better be in reference to the moon goddess, the princess, and/or an erroneous reference to Shelly Long’s character from Cheers, mmkay?”

“I did NOT make a big deal about Sweetie staying at the mansion. All I said is that ‘BITCH I DON’T WANT YOUR F&@KING SLAVE SWEETIE STAYING IN THE MOTHERF&#KING HOUSE!!!'”

“And in case y’all wondering, my earrings were woven on a dollhouse loom by a pygmy marmoset. BAM! They’re talented creatures!”

Cynthia: “So… how does it feel to apply makeup to the GREATEST MODEL IN THE WHOLE ENTIRE WORLD?”

Kandi: “So when do the strippers get here?”
Shereé: “Are they arriving by helicopter? With a poet?”


Nene: “Girl, why you crying? Problems with the wedding?”
Cynthia: “No. I just keep getting startled by all the fake butlers in this house. I mean, seriously!”

Shereé: “Listen, I came down here to celebrate YOU, Cynthia. Don’t tell me that I used my Miles by Milé for nothing!”

“Mmmmhmmmm!!! I do love me an ENTERTAINER OF THE NIGHT!”


What did you think about the episode? Was Nene in the right? Or has she gone off her rocker?

22 replies on “REAL HOUSEWIVES OF ATLANTA PHOTOCAP: Nene Revs Up Her Miami Sound Machine”

  1. To answer your question — Nene was SO not in the right. I typically love me some Nene, but she was just AWFUL. AWFUL. AWFUL. Did I mention, awful?

    I can’t believe she didn’t catch any slack from the other ladies about the “slave” reference toward Sweetie. I thought that was so cruel and out of line. Just because Kim and Sweetie are, well, Kim and Sweetie.. didn’t make that comment okay.

    I have to say, and I’m surprised you didn’t mention it! My FAVORITE part of the episode was Lawrence’s impression of the ladies! He did a great Kandi!

    This level of ugly doesn’t suit Nene and I hope she gets it together. : (

    Oh, and I think (not 100%) that his name was Thomas.. and I almost died laughing when he referred to his home as “Party Heaven” : )

    1. His name is indeed Thomas…And, I agree, my favorite part was Lawrence’s impressions. Lol.

      I cannot get over how many jokes you get out of the Sherayay…”Miles by Milé!”

      Love Kim’s new song…lol, “Smoke Before You Get Choked.”

  2. Thomas (or Fritz, if you prefer) was definitely as creepy as his house…which also explained why he would be friends with Kim. I didn’t think a normal, respectable, wealthy guy would be associated with white trash. Also, seems my bad vibes were justified by bestweekever:


  3. I’m not sure if it was this week or last week when I learned Kim’s age. Seriously? 32? Is that true? If she keeps up with the smoking and drinking she will look about 60 in a few years because she sure as hell looks older than 32.

    NeNe was horrible. She’s obviously still angry about the whole Tardy for the Party and her being left out. I doubt she gives a darn about Sweetie’s feelings. Imagine being trapped on that bus? Kandi deserves an award.

    Sheray was hilarious as was her sidekick Miss Lawrence (WWHL informed me of that new name)

    ” and/or an erroneous reference to Shelly Long’s character from Cheers, mmkay?”

  4. Okay, did Thomas/Fritz’s house look familiar to anybody else? I know I have seen it somewhere – maybe an episode of My Life on the D List???

      1. I think it’s the same house…

        And what most struck me about this epi is that Kim–KIM!!–came out ahead in the “ladette to lady” competition. Our little girl is growing up!

  5. Ok, I am not trying to be mean here, BUT, Sherayay, talking about Cynthias booty, not cool lady. From the looks of Sherayay from the side looks like she has some junk in the trunk also! I didn’t like the first suit that Cynthia was in, just didn’t fit her right, anywhere, but I did like the second one. Phae shouldn’t be talking smack either, I saw that shot of her, in her bikini! This is why I don’t like to go out in swim suits, all the hate that is out there! I am a white lady from Washington State, I dont go to the beach! If I have to, I will wear the tankini, and hide all my not so nice areas! OR I keep my swimsuit covered by shorts and a tank top, I will sport the “farmers tan” for my hubby 🙂

    There is no way in hell that Kim is 32! She looks well over that! Then again, I just turned 31 and people still think I am in high school…

    NeNe was totally out of control this eppisode. I also loved Miss Lawrence’s impersonations of the ladies! I think RuPaul has met “her” match 🙂

  6. I don’t adore Nene. She was ok, Season 1. But the last two seasons have revealed her as a judgemental, egostitical, small-minded, racist. I don’t find her “loud-ness” cute, nor her humor at other people’s expense funny. She’s awful, and quickly has become one of my LEAST favorite of all the housewives.

    1. I completely agree Lindsay. I’ve never been a Nene fan or even liked her. And she sure has gotten even worse these last 2 seasons, probably because she thinks she is the ** Star ** of the show, so much so that she is now threatening not to renew. Fine by me.
      What struck me as ironic is all of the things she kept telling Kim (who gets major props for not losing it and trying to stay a lady when crazy has a finger and is screaming in your face) was advice she should of used herself. Kim wasn’t the one acting childish. She wasn’t the one acting loud and making a scene.
      And Kim isn’t racist. She is just lazy. Look how she always calls for BRIIIELLLE ! Kim and Sweetie seem to have a relationship that works for them. If Sweetie doesn’t like it, she can quit. Shame on Nene for trying to make it something ugly.

    2. totally concur! and I hate to say this, but this season is just as boring as last season. They need to recast everyone but nene and kim for entertainment value. Nene is so jealous of kim it’s pathetic. The only person nene will go after is kim because none of the other housewives are behind kim so she knows that no one will back kim up. I don’t see her taking on Sheray or phaedra or kandie or that model (can’t even remember her name), just kim. it’s not entertaining at all.

  7. Phaedra is quickly becoming my fave, after liking Kim, Nene, and Kandi. She could easily have her own show. the mmmh, hmmm, alone with her mother was enough to make me watch. (loved her at the concert with kim singing). Shereyay is also growing on me, she seems to be the voice of reason when it comes to people other than herself.

  8. There hasn’t been enough Phaedra this season. Yeah, she can be awful, but it’s more funny in the same way as the Countess. Her sweet soft voice is perfectly juxtaposed by her sharp words. She’s become one of my fave Housewives. When she said “Pretzel wrapped in cottage cheese,” I nearly fell off my seat laughing (I know it wasn’t very nice, but still).

    I don’t like Kim, but Nene was beyond unreasonable in this episode. She is jealous of the “Tardy for the Party” extra fame that Kim has gotten from that song.

    And why would she be upset if someone like Lawrence came? He’s much more fun than say, Cedric.

    1. I thought Phaedra looked really nice in this episode, her make up and style wasn’t so over the top i.e. hadn’t used a bedazzler to apply her makeup. I think she is really funny too, both laughing with and at her.

      1. I pray she stops wearing that ribbon tied ponytail, as if she is a 6th grade cheerleader…sheeesh!!

  9. I just can’t get on board with Phaedra. I have no idea what it is. I can’t put my finger on it.

  10. Amazing photocaps, B-Side. But i have to disagree with you on lovin’ some Nene. She is the WORST.

  11. Usually I am a NeNe fan, despite my feeling that she is way too full of herself. But this episode definitely damaged our relationship LOL!!

    I would think that she would be a bit more civilized when coming into the home of someone who has graciously offered to put her and her friends up for the weekend…the fact that the house was tacky as all hell is irrelevant. Add to this that if she hated Kim so much she should NOT have stayed at Fritz’s home…double tacky!!! And Kim is better than me because not only would NeNe have been sleeping on that Tour Bus, but Diana’s ass would have never made it to the dayum dinner table. My friend, My Rules…Get Out Bitches!!

    I commend Kim for TRYING to quiet the argument and not disrespect creepy old Fritzie but at some point a line needs to be drawn…and NeNe shouldn’t have made it past the front door. All in all this episode was hilariously sad. Cynthia (and her awfully thin hair) just doesn’t make any sense to me…if the bags under her eyes are any indication, why oh why is she still considering this god awful wedding to Peter? And Sweetie is a slave but I am sure she knows about the Emancipation Proclamation so if she chooses to remain a slave, that’s her choice….C’est La Vie!

    Great recap as always!!!

    P.S. Lawrence is officially my FAVORITE Atlanta Housewife!!

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