Angelina Releases A Song

It’s starting to become tradition that the most awful, runtiest, and/or deplorable woman on a reality show now has to release her own single in hopes of expanding her career beyond the confines of whatever basic cable network she’s stuck on. Of course, these ploys never work. It started with Heidi Montag, and was followed by Kim Zolciak, Countess LuAnn DeLesseps, and Danielle Staub (to be fair, I don’t think LuAnn is the most awful or deplorable on her cast). Now we have the utterly vile Angelina Pivarnick from Jersey Shore, who’s just released the thought-provoking and questionably titled tune “I’m Hot.” And no, the term “hot” refers neither to the radiant heat of the real Staten Island dump nor to the temperature of whatever used maxi-pads she’s left around her bathroom.

Like the other reality starlet songs, “I’m Hot” sounds like a parody at first — perhaps penned by some morning DJ to air in between the traffic report and a phone prank. But no, this is real, and about as silly as it gets. I swear the entire thing was produced on the Casio keyboard my parents bought me in fifth grade. What’s worse is that this inane, ear-piercing gunk lasts nearly five minutes. Plus, I can’t be sure, but it sounds like she ripped off part of the Outhere Brothers seminal dance hit, “Boom Boom Boom.” Not cool, yo.

Listen if you dare. I haven’t met anyone who’s been able to make it all the way through…

Thanks to IndianJones for the heads up.

13 replies on “Angelina Releases A Song”

  1. I didn’t even make it that far. When whoever was singing the backups promised to party all night long with me, I had to bail. Even worse was the beginning where she introduced herself like we really care who made this awful song that is being inflicted upon us.

  2. how can you be hot like an ice cream cone with a cherry on top? is that her way, every day? ok…i skipped to the end just to see if she said anything funny.

  3. I turned it off during the second or third chorus of the repetitive dude singer idiot. I would have loved to hear all that Angelina wanted to tell us through her art. Alas, not to be.

  4. That song is the reason for all war and famine in the world. Also I think that guy from Ugly Betty may have listened to this before he lopped his mom’s head off.

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