HOUSEWIVES PHOTOCAP: Parents Just Don't Understand

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This week’s installment of The Real Housewives of Orange County was all about testing the boundaries (hence the episode title, “No Boundaries”). First, we had Gretchen’s friend pushing the limits of proper etiquette by allegedly flirting with Alexis’s husband (but who wouldn’t, right ladies? Right??), and then we had Lynne’s daughter Alexa full on challenging her parents to establish any sort of boundaries whatsoever. In between, there was some general cattiness on the Gretchen/Tamra front — as well as some questionable declarations by Vicki about being a nicer person — but nothing terribly compelling. The real heart and soul of the episode were the various trials and tribulations of Alexis and Alexa, the latter of whom actually provided some fascinating TV.

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'Kell On Earth' Is Just Seven Days Away…

The closer we get to the premiere of Kell On Earth, the more excited I get. The show promises to follow Kelly Cutrone — sort of an older, paler, thinner version of Snooki from Jersey Shore. But whereas Snooki is all waffling insecurity, Kelly is a self-possessed, self-proclaimed power bitch. Watching her take down the weak, incompetent people around her has been a thrill for the past several years on The Hills and The City. I can only imagine the joy will continue once Bravo dedicates a full hour to her every week. Sadly, we still have to wait a full week to watch the show, but here’s a video that’ll give you yet another taste of what’s to come. That’s what you call a tease in the power bitch world.

B-Side Blog Goes To Pee-Wee's Playhouse, Brain Melting Ensues (That's A Good Thing)

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Thursday nights usually mean one thing for me: 30 Rock, Community, Real Housewives, and Jersey Shore — give or take a few shows. I suppose that’s four things, but it all falls under the glorious umbrella of TELEVISION. It certainly takes a lot for me to waiver from this joyous activity, but occasionally something does come along that even TV itself can’t top. Case in point: TV on stage! That’s why when my friend Michelle invited me along to see The Pee-Wee Herman Show last night, I knew I had to put Snooki, Vicki, and Liz Lemon on pause.
For the uninitiated, The Pee-Wee Herman Show is sort of a reprisal of Paul Reubens’ beloved ’80s kids show, Pee-Wee’s Playhouse (which in turn was something of an adaptation of his early ’80s stage show, also called The Pee-Wee Herman Show). It’s been garnering a significant amount of buzz here in LA for the past week or so, and even though we had to navigate through the byzantine corridors and garages of downtown’s LA Live complex (an experience that Michelle and I equated to some horrid Amazing Race impasse), we were still most happy to arrive at Club Nokia, the swanky venue for this off-off-off-off Broadway performance. The icing on the cake: free tix located second row center. Enormous thanks to the staff for hooking us up with that.
As we took our seats in the audience, it was clear that this would not be the typically stuffy theatRE experience. I based this mainly on the fact that a good number of people in the audience seemed to actually be dressed up as Pee-Wee Herman, and those in civilian garb tended to have some ode to the man or his menagerie of characters imprinted on their clothing in some fashion. Heck, the woman next to me had a full-on Pee-Wee doll in her hands.
If it was nostalgia these people wanted, they certainly received it on a high order. The moment Pee-Wee first waltzed out on stage with nothing but a dark curtain behind him, the crowd went nuts. Reubens, now nearly sixty years old, seems shockingly ageless when he inhabits his famous character. Sure, there are some wrinkles and lines here and there, but hidden under layers of thick white makeup, and wrapped up in the man-child mania of Pee-Wee, he truly seems no older than he was twenty-five years ago.

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REAL HOUSEWIVES PREVIEW: Tupperware Turf War!

The Real Housewives of Orange County is back tonight, and hopefully this episode will make up for last week’s somewhat dull offering. It certainly seems promising, what with Alexis bearing her claws (fun fact: her claws have fake boobs too) at some random lady for allegedly getting too close to husband Jim (who we all know is a huge chick magnet, what with his movie star looks). Cat fights are always wonderful, especially when they’re initiated by church-going, bible-toting citizens of God. Let’s face it: if there’s anyone who was known for catty contretemps, it was Jesus himself. He was all “You bettah slow yo’ roll, Judas!” and “Virgin Mary, puhhlease!!!”
Okay, maybe not. But the point is that Alexis gets into it with another fellow tupperware party guest, and things don’t look like they’ll end politely. Thankfully, Jim is ever the gentleman and pulls his wife away, sure to mitigate any conflict. And by that, I mean he just stands there, perhaps relishing this moment. Certainly I hope you don’t think I’m suggesting the guy’s a shmuck. I mean, just because he gnaws on a toothpick like some long-forgotten background player in Grease doesn’t mean he’s lacking in the class department. Clearly the man is a gentleman. Just check out his mature (read: sulky) reactions to the tupperware party.
To see all of these shenanigans (including an overbearing drag queen named Kay Sedilla), check out the video above. And as a bonus, after the jump is an extra clip of Lynne and the “youth-ologist” (not to be confused with “joy-ologist”).

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HOUSEWIVES PREVIEW: Psychics and Sleepovers

Those blonde bitches are back tonight on Bravo. I’m talking of course about The Real Housewives of Orange County, who continue to amaze with their special brand of cattiness. Things look relatively demure on tonight’s episode — at least based on the preview clips offered up here. In the video above, Vicki arranges a slumber party for the ladies, and as a special surprise, she’s invited a psychic to come along. Unfortunately, this chafes Lynne, whose own psychic abilities call this man’s powers into question.
I suppose it’ll be a tough episode for Lynne in general. Not only must she endure a phony psychic, she has to listen to Gretchen’s parenting advice, which is probably the larger offense. After the jump, a clip of the two women talking about Alexa with simmering (albeit perhaps manufactured) tension. With any luck, this will lead to some fireworks down the line. But this is Lynne we’re talking about. Not the most fiery of personalities. We’ll see…

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EEL: Yea Or Neigh?

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The other day, I posted a humble photo of a cooked eel on Facebook, and the response was shockingly vehement. Some people thought it looked tasty. Others wanted to vomit. Now, I know eel doesn’t sound appealing, nor is my presentation particularly appetizing, but what of the taste? People swear by eel in sushi. Why the visceral reaction against it in its most basic form?
Here is a sampling of comments from Facebook (for the record, two people said they liked the photo):

IndianJones: “Come on dude, that’s gross.”
jash: “yummmm” and then later “admittedly, i dont know if i could eat THAT much eel. its like foie gras.”
Flipit; “please. just once. post a burger.”
My cousin Danya: “Looks like a big, fat tongue.”
jash: “now that someone said it looks like a tongue, thats all i can imagine.”
Heather Whaley: “If Satan were alive and hungry, this is what he would eat.”
Andrea: “that looks gross.”
IndianJones: “I wish this awful picture would stop appearing in my news feed. ”
Flipit: “i wish your face would stop appearing in my dreams.”

It all leads me to ponder this question: is eel awesome? Or revolting?
DISCUSS

It's Official: Conan Won't Be NBC's Bitch!

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NBC has made a total mess of its late night situation, and after announcing that Jay Leno would be moving back to 11:35 PM, everyone was left wondering what Conan would do: settle for a sure-thing job at 12:05 AM? Or bail on NBC for another network instead? Well, it looks like Conan has made his move, announcing in a wonderfully annoyed statement this afternoon that he would not remain host of The Tonight Show should it be pushed back to after midnight. Obviously this all sucks for Conan, but I love that he’s walking with his pride intact.
Conan’s full statement, via The New York Times, after the jump:

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REAL HOUSEWIVES PHOTOCAP: Of Love Tanks, Emptied and Refilled

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It’s been a few weeks since I photocapped the Real Housewives of Orange County, but now that December and the holidays have passed, my schedule has normalized, and now I can get back to important things: you know, like harping on the lives of Southern California’s most bitchy residents. Sadly, there wasn’t a whole lot of cattiness on this latest episode of the Housewives. It was fairly lovey-dovey, what with Vicki and Donn renewing their vows. Even I had to admit that their storyline, while boring, was somewhat touching. Maybe that’s just because there’s still nothing quite like seeing a guy like Donn being reduced to a pile of man-tears every five minutes.
Less emotional but perhaps a bit more enthralling was this week’s focus on Alexis, who brought us to her church for the first time. It was one of these giant, “modern” congregations where no one wears ties (how very Orange County), and the religious praise comes in the form of loud Christian Rock. Yes, it was all very showy and “cool;” although, I have a hard time buying the whole “progressive” thing when in reality, I can only imagine some of the ballot initiatives this church supports. But there I go getting mildly political. Maybe I should take a lesson from the pastor’s very insightful sermon, which called upon people to “stop whining.” Thought-provoking indeed.

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