We couldn’t expect the latest installment of The Real Housewives of New York City to top the bonkers episode that preceded it, but that’s okay because these ladies are truly entertaining, even when they’re doing little more than getting their vajayjays waxed and lasered and generally attacked in the name of beauty. Everyone brings something to the table with perhaps the exception of Cindy, who has yet to make a notable impact on the show. So far she’s just sort of lingered around, offering up either lame neuroses (ie. issues with her nannies) or bland attitude (ie. her annoyance with Sonja during Ramona’s speech — off topic, drunk Sonja was hilarious). I get the sense that Cindy’s blasé behavior and over-it candor is supposed to provide a grain of salt to the craziness around her, but Bethenny she ain’t. In fact, this week’s episode was the first time all season that I did truly miss Ms. Frankel. Whereas Bethenny would crack a hilarious joke about the zany ladies around her, Cindy just looks left to right and says something uninspired like “I… I didn’t get it.”
Of course, Cindy is new to this all, and sometimes it can take a while for a newbie to make a name for herself. Let’s not forget that during her first season, Kelly Bensimon was just a quiet, pretty face for half the season until her epic blowout with Bethenny made her a villain like none other. There’s hope for Cindy yet!
Nevertheless, not much happened this week. Alex and Sonja struck a tentative peace that made Israeli-Palestinian relations look like the paradigm of diplomacy. It won’t be long before these two are at each other’s necks again, what with their resolution to NEVER TALK ABOUT THIS AGAIN. Always a healthy move. It worked so well for Alex and Jill…
Jill, meanwhile, was off in Australia; so to the delight of her haters, she was nowhere to be found all episode. Maybe that’s why we got so much Cindy. The spa owner invited the gals over to get their lady hairs removed, a prospect that seemed to horrify LuAnn… until she went and got it all zapped off. Always a trooper, that one.
Ramona meanwhile attempted to walk a runway again, and this time she met with more success — only flaring her eyes for one fleeting moment. Later she received an award from… somewhere… and all the ladies came out to support her. Well, almost all the ladies. LuAnn suddenly had to tend to her kids (it must not have been Taco night), and Kelly just didn’t want to go — eliciting an angry text from Ramoner. We’ll see how that plays out (prediction: POORLY). Alex also showed up with a ridiculous hairstyle thanks to a photoshoot she’d had just minutes prior. This incurred the scorn of all the ladies, including Sonja — who really was in no place to talk given that she spent an entire meal with a furry hat the size of an airplane wheel on her head. And yet somehow it worked. Go figure.
Thankfully, Sonja was much better than she was the episode prior, but her phoniness is starting to shine through, and I’m afraid that Ms. Morgan just isn’t as wonderful as she was last year. It’s kind of destroying my world view. But then again, if beloved Jill can go to the dark side, so can Sonja. Isn’t reality TV wonderful?
“Darling, Jacques has taken down all my walls, particularly the ones in my vagina.”
Kelly: “LuAnn! I can’t believe you said that!”
LuAnn: “Darling, I can say whatever I want. It’s not like we’re at the Cancer Society. NEVER AT THE CANCER SOCIETY!”
“I want to find a man, LuAnn. A man who understands me. I don’t know who that might be. Maybe Al Sharpton? I’m just spitballin’.”
“Sonja, I hope you appreciate that I’m giving you my best empathetic face, even though your hat is ridiculous and you’ve become a total B.”
“I’m sorry. I wasn’t listening. Did you say something about butterflies? Yes, I find them lovely too.”
“No, Sonja. I was talking about your hat and your attitude.”
“Hmmm?”
“I guess we’ll agree to disagree.”
“I’m sorry, but who are you again?”
“Your hands are amazing. And not nearly as boring as your personality!”
“I’m having issues with my nannies. They’re just so mean. Whatever. I’ll figure it out. I don’t know why I’m such a pushover at home. I guess that’s the way it is. I don’t know. Why are you asleep, Kelly?”
“This red dress makes me look hot. No. You know how it makes me look? Déclassé. Sorry, it’s déclassé.”
Sonja: “Ramona, this is crazy! You can’t model again! You’re totally gonna Alex it.”
“What does that mean?”
“You know, be all BROOKLYN LOWER CLASS about it.”
“Oh JACQUES, I am WASTED!!! What would you do if I shaved all the hair off my pussy? DID I JUST SAY THAT? MORE VINO PLEASE!!!!”
“I like this wine! It smells like wine!”
“So… let’s talk about me.”
“Hey, kid. Let’s talk about my nannies. So I have this one nanny who wants to work only three days, and now she wants to bring a friend, and — why are you sleeping?”
“Darling, look at Cindy making a love connection. Who would have thought she could do it with all that horrifying Joan Jett hair.”
“You go to school at Julie’s yard? Who’s Julie and where is her yard?”
“No, Julliard.”
“Hahahaha, I’m wasted, which is amazing because I ONLY DRINK BEER.”
“Yes, you’ve told me five times.”
Kelly: “OMG. Governor’s Island is so cold. It’s like Scary Island, but colder. I like to call it COLD SCARY ISLAND.”
“Mmmmm… this chocolate diamond makes me want to do one and only one thing: spill champagne on the kids!”
Alex: “Hi Sonja.”
Sonja: “Let me cut you off right there because you are making NO SENSE.”
Sonja: “My problem is that I don’t have a lot of hair down there. I used it all to make my giant hat.”
“I’m a tulip.”
“Gosh, that LuAnn is a real B-I, isn’t she?”
“Oh gosh. I’m really nervous. So many people here. Where to begin? My mother always said you should have your own speech written because you never want to be dependent on a man to write it for you. And when I finished my two year degree, I knew I wanted to write a speech. After all, I had just graduated and was feeling very renewed — I had cut my hair and was looking like a baby Cameron Diaz. Anyway, my father wanted me to go raise kids, but I said no. That was a mean thing for him to say. No, it wasn’t mean. You know what it was? Déclassé. Sorry. That’s what it was. It was déclassé. And in conclusion: it’s Turtle Time.”
What did you think about the episode?
Love you BsideBen
That designer Ramona met with REMINDS ME OF SOMEONE and it’s driving me nuts because I can’t think who it is!
Is anyone else getting an extremely creepy vibe from Cindy and her brother? Even his girlfriend who yelled at Ramona at that wedding looked like her – in fact, it took about 5 viewings (my TV is always on Bravo) to realize it wasn’t Cindy.
Yes! I know what you mean about the brother and her. The girlfriend looks like his sister. Kind of creepy.
Total creepy vibe!! I actually just realized that the girlfriend at the wedding was NOT Cindy from your post. Ick.
Does the designer remind you of Carson Cressley ?
Also ditto to everyone’s comments about Cindy and her brother.
I was totally confused as well when the brother was telling Cindy about what happened with Ramona, I was thinking, wasn’t she there?!?! Then I realized that she wasn’t there, it’s just that his girlfriend looks just like his sister!! Ewwww
I was just flipping through channels, ‘somehow’ ended up on Bravo and caught the scene where the brother was retelling the wedding scene to Cindy and there is NO WAY that girlfriend of his is not Cindy’s clone. I think this deserves much more discussion…. it is way too creepy.
Thank you for the suggestion but I finally realized it was Buffalo Bill from Silence of the Lamb.
It gets me some free product placement or it gets the hose.
I’m not digging Cindy yet. She acts like she’s too good for anyone, but not in a cool way like the Countess.
The biggest loss to come from Bethenny’s departure is the effect on Kelly. There is noone that can bring out her crazy more than B did. I just hope it does come out.
Speaking of B, man has she been having some serious meltdowns on her show. I find it hilarious cuz she’s beeing so dramatic.
The Countess swallows and she suggests Kelly does so too.Darrrrrling.
hb
Hilarious recap, as usual. Did you pick up on how well Kelly listens to others? The little guy said he went to Julliard. She said, “Oh you must be an dancer”. He said, “No. I am an actor” after he told her that Julliard has students of acting, music and dance. The next uestion out of her mouth was classic KooKoo: “Oh. So what instrument do you play?”. Clearly, KooKoo either is hard of hearing or just doesn’t really listen to what other people are saying and instead is always preparing to have some kind of “witty” remark in response. The saddest thing about that is that she almost never has anything funny to say. The only witty statement I remember from her was “Ramona’s blood type is Pinot Grigio”. She is really just a one trick pony afterall.
My problem is that I don’t have a lot of hair down there. I used it all to make my giant hat.â€
Hilarious!
Used to love Sonja….starting to hate her.
I agree, B is starting to act like a real pain on her show. Does she have to star in everything? The way she treats Jason and his parents is horrible.
THAT. HAT = hideous
o.m.g. ‘baby cameron diaz’ LMAO!!
Luanna does have that ‘f*cked hard’ glow this season!
Meant *Lambs, obviously
Talk about a downgrade! Time was when Simon would spend an entire episode shuttling Alex all hither and thither in honor of her birthday. Remember his Town Car conniption fit? Now he just throws her a picnic on Shutter Isla…, oh…excuse me…, Governer’s Island, and calls it a day.
Alex spilling her champagne on her kid!! Ahhhh thank you for mentioning that. Favorite part of the whole episode.