SPOTTED: Kim Kardashian and Reggie Bush Kissing At The Gym

Seeing one celebrity at the gym is always cause for minor celebration. Seeing two is even better. And seeing both of them making out with each other just elevates the entire scene. That’s precisely what happened today as my boring old fitness routine was interrupted by the presence of acclaimed footballer Reggie Bush and his amateur videographer girlfriend, Kim Kardashian. Oh, the celebrity spotting gods were surely looking down on me today.
Here’s what happened…

Because of some unfortunate issues between me and my gym (a whole other blog post which will be published later), I’ve been searching for new facilities. Today was my day to sample Gold’s Gym in Hollywood, and as I toiled around with my 10 lbs. bench press, I suddenly saw a girl emerge from the free weight room in the back (conveniently located about five feet from my station). She had no makeup on, and while her face looked Kardashian-esque to me, the lack of tanner or bronzer or glitter kind of obscured the situation. Was this really her? Or just another Armenian girl?
Well, I don’t think it takes a genius to figure out my next method of Kardashian verification. As the girl walked away, I could see her in the mirror, and wow, wow, wow. I’m not an ass man by any means, but this girl had quite the sizable posterior region. It was like her boobs were sticking out of her pants. I won’t say that I was mesmerized, but it kind of felt like some bizarre nature documentary — sort of like a sequence from Planet Earth, except instead of animals and fish, I was looking at an ass. And instead of Sigourney Weaver’s voice, I only heard the theme to What’s Happening? (Bowwwng, bowwng, bowwng, bowwwng…)
Point is, that thing jiggled like a Costco bulk purchase of Welch’s jelly.
All signs were most certainly pointing to a positive Kardashian match, and when a faux-Nicole Ritchie in an Adidas track suit appeared by her side, I was all but certain I had encountered the girl who Barbara Walters famously asked, “But what do you do??”
Just in case there was aaaanny doubt though, out bounded Reggie Bush from the back room. Whoa. Now that was cool. It’s one thing to see a second-string Hollywood socialite in her twelfth minute of fame, but quite another to see a major football star just standing right there. COLOR ME STAR STRUCK.
Well, Reggie and Kim and their two other friends eventually made their way towards the exit, but not before stopping off at the front desk for some reason or another. This gave me the perfect opportunity to swoop around the gym and get full visual confirmation that it was in fact them (because of all the mirrors and lighting and whatnot, there was a remote possibility that I was wrong). Sure enough, just as I casually breezed by them, Kim and Reggie started to kiss sweetly, and I could finally put any doubts about their identities aside. Celebrity couple sighting verified.
Consider my day FULFILLED.