This year, Disneyland has been running a promotion allowing people to visit the theme park for free on their birthdays. It just so happens that I turned a year older last week; so I happily took advantage of this offer and headed down to Anaheim for a day of whimsy and make-believe (which is not unlike my normal afternoon). Joining me on this adventure was Lil Grans and none other than IndianJones, who was back in the ‘hood for the weekend. Jash and Sly were also hoping to make the trip as well, but work obligations kept them away from the Happiest Place on Earth (or “the happiest place in the world,” as IndianJones mistakenly called it).
After the jump, some photos from our day at Disney.
We arrive just before noon on Friday, and after parking in a giant structure, we must board a nifty shuttle to take us to the park. And so our adventure begins.
HA — these people totally missed the tram. SUCKAS!!!
At this point, I realize I’ve taken about a dozen photos after only having traveled about ten feet on the tram. I decide it’s time for restraint.
IndianJones, meanwhile, grabs the camera away from me and snaps a shot of the parking structure. He fears that we’ll later forget where we parked. The Daisy Duck escalators, obvs.
Eventually we make our way through the turnstiles and head into the Magic Kingdom. Mirth awaits!
As the Holidays are just around the corner, the entire park is decked out in extensive Christmas decor — as evidenced by this tree.
Here we are walking down Main Street USA, which reminds us that this is just the way America SHOULD BE: safe, clean, and full of slow-walking people in oversized t-shirts.
IndianJones poses as a horse-drawn trolley approaches. Don’t let this otherwise pleasant photo distract you from his utter disdain for Middle America.
As it was my birthday, I was given a pin with my name on it. I was then told that Disney employees would now assault me with birthday wishes the rest of the day. This was patently false. Only two — TWO — people wished me happy birthday (both at the Haunted Mansion, curiously enough). Actually, a third guy wished me happy birthday and then followed me around, but I think he was a mentally challenged chap who was just looking to make conversation. It was awkward.
The Matterhorn looms over Tomorrowland. It shall soon be conquered.
Lil Grans caught off guard while the Little Nemo submarine (née 20,000 Leagues Under The Sea) putters along in the background.
Lil Grans and IndianJones waiting in line for the Matterhorn. They are clearly more excited than the rather dreary teens behind them.
After about fifteen minutes, we’re ready to board the Matternhorn. It’s my first time. As you can imagine, my heart is aflutter.
Lil Grans prepares for a high-speed alpine experience.
Technically, as we were a group of three, IndianJones was supposed to sit in my lap for the ride, but we all decided that that would be strange and uncomfortable in many different ways. As such, he received his own car.
After the Matterhorn, we enjoyed a healthy lunch adjacent to some dumb Jedi Training show for kids. My bacon cheeseburger was surprisingly tasty for amusement park fare.
At the next table over, a family (who was decided from the REAL America) up and left without throwing away their small army of cups. Never mind that the trash can was RIGHT NEXT TO THEM (as seen in the photo). I mean, I know we Americans are lazy and all, but all they had to do was reach over and place the cups in the bin. They didn’t have to even stand up if they didn’t want to. Jerks. (They were butt ugly too, which is a shallow observation but feels fitting nonetheless)
The Star Tours ride, which afforded IndianJones the opportunity to reveal his nerdy side. As we stood in line, a video feature advertised “trips” to the planet Hoth, causing IndianJones to roll his eyes and ask “Who would EVER visit Hoth?” A question for the ages.
How meta: me taking a picture of tourists taking pictures. Lil Grans informed me that he almost took a picture of me taking a picture of them taking a picture of Disneyland. That would have just blown my mind.
More tourists.
After having spent a good chunk of time in Tomorrowland, we then venture into New Orleans Square where we pause for pictures by the lake. Okay, it’s true. We’re just as dorky as everyone else at the park.
Our next destination is Critter Country. Splash Mountain beckons.
A casual afternoon flume.
I’ve been on many flumes in my day, but this was by far the wettest I’d ever been after one. Not sure you can see the details in this pic, but my face was covered in water. Also, props to the photobomber in the background behind Lil Grans.
IndianJones shows off his post-flume water damage.
Another victim of Splash Mountain.
Lil Grans fared the best of us, but he too had waterlogged pants for a good hour or two afterwards.
And then there was Space Mountain.
This pretty much sums that up.
Next, we visit the decidedly less thrilling Toy Story 2 ride. It’s a bit frenetic and annoying; however, we’re mildly amused by the color scheme, which perfectly matches IndianJones. I mean, WHERE IS HE? It’s like he’s just a floating head!
Errant marching band.
IndianJones at the Indiana Jones ride. Do the wonders never cease?
Soon the sun sets, and the lights come on. The charm quotient thus skyrockets. Unfortunately, we don’t DO charm. We head towards the exit.
Ah, but first we pause for dumb photos with Mickey ears.
Fun times.
And that was it. I tried to take a photo with Mickey, but he seemed to be MIA that day. I also never made it to “It’s A Small World,” which was unfortunate because I’ve never been, but by the time we got to it, the line looked to be about two hours long, and there was no way I was gonna wait more than fifteen minutes to see some figurines. Nevertheless, it was a delightful day and perfectly kicked off the birthday weekend. And no, I did not buy any ears…
OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The return of my blurred faced crush, IndianJones!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’ve missed his shenanigans. If ever he decides he might have a thing for a pale, skinny, short, red-haired, depressed/angry girl from the ghetto (dont mention that said ghetto is in Texas – I hate it here too), let me know.
alas, I have a sneaking suspicion that he’s not likely interested.
Is it me or was anyone else surprised when Lil Grans was not in fact a grandmother but a young white dude? He seems nice and cute but I really was expecting a grandmotherly type person.
Yes Wendy I’m surprised. Was not expecting a young white dude with the name Lil Grans.
Disneyland’s castle seems way smaller than Disney World’s. Hmmm…
Cannot believe you spent your birthday at a place crawling with, gasp, CHILDREN!
Mickey Mouse usually doesn’t wander around. If you want to see the characters you have to go to a character spot and usually wait in some line.
I am also surprised that you have never been to It’s a Small World. You should have waited in the line. It goes pretty fast because the boats can hold a lot of people. Go next time.
Man, Lil Grans is CUTE! Does he like Chicago girls?
Ya know, I went to Disneyland last February with my friend. He too had a birthday button, but it was the opposite experience–he was assaulted with birthday wishes. all. day. Interesting.
Did you do Soarin’? I thought that was really cool.
And the trick to It’s a Small World is to wait till after the nightly light show, when most of the families with small children have gone home. You will wait in line for all of three minutes, before being escorted into your very own boat (despite the fact that there are five people behind you–you and your friend conclude that you look like assholes and the Disney staff didn’t want those innocent people to be scarred for life by your sarcasm). You will then proceed to yell snarky comments at the puppets and crack each other up.
Or maybe that was just my experience.
I think the whole wishing people happy birthday has worn thin on the “cast members” by this point. I went for my birthday in April and every damn one of them said Happy Birthday. It got kind of old, and even that early in the year half of them were phoning it in. Considering they even were wishing Happy Birthday to my friends who were wearing “I’m here for Tony’s Birthday” buttons.
Or might Lil Grans like DC guys? What a cutie…B-side is still my number 1 though… and is that a sperm tatoo on Lil’s arm?
how about we use this comment thread to try to pick up b-side blog cast members? Lil Grans is cute, but I’ve long been crushing on the blurry enigma that is IndianJones, so I got first dibs on him.
I’ll take this opportunity to repeat my two favorite Disney-related humor tidbits:
(1) Dave Barry’s name for Disney World was “A World of Crabby People Standing in Line”
(2) In order to make “It’s a Small World” a fun ride they should issue everyone three softballs to see how many dolls you can knock over. [uncredited stand-up comic]
Sad to say, these both crack me up.
I haven’t been to Disneyland since I was maybe 5 years old. We went on Navy night because my dad was still in the Navy then and I guess there were some younger Navy guys there who couldn’t hold their liquor well. My poor mom got vomited on by some guy in a skycar. Do they still have those? WDW got rid of theirs a few years ago.
We took our kids on It’s a Small World. Our daughter loved it, my son was ready to jump out of the boat and run for the exit. 😉
I hate It’s a Small World. I always think those evil eyed dolls are just waiting to spring to life and kill all the tourists in some kind of Disneyesque blood bath.
I do however love the beignets at The Cafe Orleans.
hb
Since so many comments about Lil Grans how about telling where the name comes from?
And the picture of the wet pants, you sure that dampness is from external or the frightening ride resulted from internal?
Enjoyed seeing your dorky trip to Dizzyland. Even though less than 2 hours away I’ve not been there in years. Walt would be ticked if he knew that.
Looooove Lil Grans’ Bon Temps Football t shirt. That is all. Well, wait, one more thing…Happy Birthday B-Side!