Well, The Real Housewives of Orange County have gone up to Whistler for one of their looniest vacations of all time. This two-episode bonanza wasn’t as crazy as, say, anything we’ve seen from New York (Scary Island remains the high watermark for Real Housewives vacations), but from Vicki screaming about multiple partners on the bunny slope to Tamra getting her tongue stuck on a wall, this has been one strange jaunt. I, of course, loved every minute of it.
To the photocap!
Vicki: “This wine looks great.”
Tamra: “Yeah. Do you have another corkscrew?”
“I DO NOT HAVE SEX WITH MULTIPLE CORKSCREWS!!!”
Alexis: “Hahahhahaaha. Now tell me: what exactly are we laughing about?”
“Lauri, you are FILFTH. And a liar! You make me want to be friends with Gretchen.”
Gretchen: “Don’t personify that indiscrepancy onto me!”
Vicki: “Lauri, never mind. She’s an idiot. You’re cool.”
“We’ve been in Whistler for three days, and I still haven’t seen any whistles. Huh.”
Gretchen: “Vicki, you’re very hypocritical.”
“No, I’m ironic. Like the ’90s.”
“And you look like you’re in your 90s too.”
“That’s not nice.”
“Well, you brought it up.”
“No, you did.”
“No, actually, YOU did.”
“NO. YOU DID. AND TAMRA THINKS SO TOO.”
“Why do you always drag Tamra into this, Vicki?”
“I didn’t. You did.”
“No, YOU DID.”
“This is very ironic.”
“You’re crazy. You need meds, Vicki.”
“You can’t diagnose me. You didn’t take a hippocratic oath.”
“Oh, so suddenly YOU can say that word, but I can’t? Talk about hippocratic!”
“For those who even care, my cuff was designed by Dr. Seuss.”
Gretchen: “Can you believe all the indiscrepancies Vicki personifies onto me? I mean, talk about ironing.”
Tamra: “Irony.”
Tamra: “I’m so glad we worked things out. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go talk shit about you to the producers.”
Lydia: “This is fun!”
Alexis: “Yeah, but since when did Costa Rica get so cold??”
An awkward moment as Vicki spies her reflection in a spoon.
Lydia: “Who wants to go into the back room and leave their saliva on the walls?”
“I’m home!! Who’s ready for night terrors???”
Heather: “You kids are great and all, but you’re no SARAH RUE.”
Bravo finds a way to make The Thing even scarier.
“Wait, is someone smoking WEED in here?”
“Am I melting the room yet? You know, on account of me being the HOT one, which I AM.”
“HAHAHAHA I’M SORRY, BUT INDISCREPANCIES?? lololololol.”
“This is the face I used to seduce Eddie.”
“Tamra, you look like a bicycle seat.”
“Exactly.”
Tamra: “Oh Lauri, I love you.”
“And I love MONEY.”
What did you think about this episode? Thoughts on the trip?
Terry had me ROFLMFAO when he said Tamra has left DNA on a lot of walls! Loved the photocap, and damn Vicki, all that surgery to look 20 years older? You’re doing it wrong!
It would have been so much funnier if Vicki had “Triple Dog Dared” Tamra to stick her tongue on the ice.
hb
In my somewhat limited life experience, I have found that the people who fight over the who’s classier or proclaim to have class are often times the trashiest. I suppose that’s ironic, or hypocritical. But maybe I’m just personifying my own indiscrepancies onto the women of OC. To Heather’s question about what you could want more than being on a (cancelled) show and having a supportive husband. Oh, I don’t know. Maybe four healthy kids, an amazing lifestyle and financial security in these very troubled times? I guess that part didn’t get her to how fulfilled she now feels.
Why am I shocked to find out that Heather and Terry have a kid that has night terrors………..how can that happen?
Love your recaps, yes I voted.