Which Dynamic Duos Do We Want Back on ‘Big Brother’?

Big Brother has its season premiere on Thursday, and CBS has already let us know about one of the twists: one or two “dynamic duos” will be returning to the house. Of course, we’ll have to tune in to find out who’ll be marching back into the house, but a CBS poll has readers buzzing about prospective teams.

After the jump, read my full analysis on the teams CBS has suggested (as well as some that have gone unmentioned)…

Brendon and Rachel, Season 12

In many ways, Brendon and Rachel were the only interesting part about last year’s sleepy Big Brother 12 cast. No one in the house did anything except Rachel, and that made her both the person we rooted for and simultaneously the girl we couldn’t stand. These two became the stars by default.

That being said, I’m not sure I’d be down for a second dose of the lovebirds. Brendon never became the compelling underdog we wanted him to be. He was just a puppy-eyed weepy who wanted a hug. Even when he entered his badass mode, he was pretty pitiful. Rachel on the other hand never developed into the second coming of Janelle. She had flashes of strategic brilliance, but her histrionics and blind faith in Brendon undermined all that. In the end, Brenchel were entertaining, but an unfortunate reminder of the worst season in Big Brother history. I could do without them. Sadly, they’re probably cheap and available.
Odds they’ll be in the house: 3-to-2
Would we be happy to see them? No.

Dr. Will and Mike “Boogie,” Seasons 2 & 7

Will Chilltown live again? Probably not. Dr. Will has already posted a message on his website saying that he has no intention of re-joining the show, and when I spoke to him in March, he made it very clear that he wants to focus on his work and family and not reality TV. It’s too bad because Chilltown is arguably the greatest alliance the show has had. Sure, there were Dan and Memphis (the Renegades, were they?) and The Brigade, but no one could touch the diabolical entertainment factor of watching Will and Boogie at work. Plus, they did it twice, winning each time. I have to admit that I hated Chilltown when I first saw them on All Stars (I didn’t start watching Big Brother until season 3), but I eventually relented and saw the light. Chilltown 4-eva! Bad sadly not.
Odds they’ll be in the house: 1,000,000-to-1
Would we be happy to see them? YES.

Jessie and Natalie, Seasons 10 & 11

Serving as one of the most loathsome alliance of all time, Jessie and Natalie could very well wind up back in the Big Brother house… and my summer would be ruined. Jessie admittedly was more palatable in his second turn on BB than his first, but Natalie — oh, she’s horrific. Many people view her as the worst Big Brother contestant of all time, thanks mainly to her pathological lying and lack of accountability (plus she had bad hygiene). I wouldn’t think CBS would foist Jessie on us a third time, but then again, Big Brother producers can be evil, evil people. I’m sure I’m not overstating this when I say that most viewers will be happy with any combo of teams as long these two knuckleheads don’t come back.
Odds they’ll be in the house: 3-to-1
Would we be happy to see them? NO.

Evil Dick and Daniele, Season 8

When it comes to polarizing, Evil Dick is the man. People either love him or hate him. I trend towards the latter. He’s cocky, rude, self-satisfied, and gross. But then again, I can’t deny that he IS smart, he CAN be rational amidst craziness, and he has become one of the biggest stars of this series. I’d rather not see him again, but it wouldn’t be the worst thing to see him enter the fray again (especially after last year’s drama-free dud season). As for Dick’s daughter Daniele, I’m not sure she has as many fans. She whines, she cries, she pities herself. She’s just a spoiled brat. But maybe time has changed that. Do I really care to find out though? Not really.
Odds they’ll be in the house: 3-to-2
Would we be happy to see them? Mixed

Jeff and Jordan, Season 11

Arguably the most likable duo in the history of Big Brother, Jeff and Jordan have always been a joy to watch. Whether they were lazing in the backyard of the house or speeding along on The Amazing Race, they’ve always been immensely sweet and entertaining to watch. There are probably people out there who are sick of J&J, but not I! Bring ’em back!
Odds they’ll be in the house: 2-to-1
Would we be happy to see them? YES

Hayden and Enzo, Season 12

I refuse to see use the word “dynamic” to describe Hayden and Enzo, who formed half of the most successful alliance in the history of Big Brother. Of course, it was only successful because CBS cast a group of dummies who were happier to go with the flow than look at the writing on the wall. Hayden and Enzo were not master strategists — just guys who knew how to keep their mouths shut. Sure, some of their antics were amusing, but like Brenchel above, I could do without a reminder of last season. Please don’t bring them back, CBS.

Alas, methinks the producers are somewhat enamored with the “Meow-Meow,” and we all know Hayden is probably eager to jump back into the fray, especially with rumors that he’s already spent all his winnings. These guys coming back wouldn’t be the worst, but it would be far, far from the best.
Odds they’ll be in the house: 2-to-1
Would we be happy to see them? not really

And now some duos not featured on CBS.com, in no particular order:

Eric and Jessica, Season 8

We all remember Eric as “America’s Player,” but he was also part of a lovable showmance with Jessica, a perky cheerleader that turned out to be far more lovable than we ever thought possible. If memory serves me correctly, the two tried to have some sort of relationship post-BB, but it fizzled. Oh well. I wouldn’t mind seeing them join forces again.
Odds they’ll be in the house: 10 to 1
Would we be happy to see them? Sure!

Natalie and Adria, Season 5

Remember the twins? Back on season five, Adria and Natalie pulled off one of the biggest surprises in the game’s history by pretending to be the same person for several weeks. It was a hoot to watch, but once both ladies were allowed to play the game together, they became a two-headed dragon of evil. I don’t think it would be fun having them back in the house, but the curiosity factor is a bit appealing to me.
Odds they’ll be in the house: 15-to-1
Would we be happy to see them? Probably not, but open to it.

Jase and Scott, Season 5

Very few alliances have rubbed America the wrong way so quickly as The Four Hoursemen from season five. And at the heart of that alliance was an intense and hateable bromance betwixt Jase and Scott. It all crumbled rather quickly, and in the end, Scott emerged as a likable buffoon and Jase as an arrogant jerk. The two reportedly are no longer friends, but I’m sure they could settle their differences if they had to work together as a duo. They’d be obnoxious, but I would love to see them shake things up.
Odds they’ll be in the house: 12-to-1
Would we be happy to see them? Yes, mostly

Janelle and Kaysar, Season 6

After season six, Janelle and Kaysar were nearly elevated to folk hero status after their impressive but ultimately failed attempt to destroy The Friendship. They returned for All Stars, however, and pretty much sucked. Kaysar fell into his own hype and overplayed his hand. Janelle, meanwhile, stumbled and sputtered her way through much of the season until somehow winding up back in the top three yet again. Janelle still can do no wrong by me, even if her second season gameplay wasn’t quite as sublime as the first. I don’t think she and Kaysar would be able to resurrect the magic they had in season six, but I’d be more than happy to watch her on screen again. And they’re big enough Big Brother stars that it wouldn’t be out of the realm of possibilities that they’d be back.
Odds they’ll be in the house: 6-to-1
Would we be happy to see them? Yes

Ivette and Cappy, Season 6

Season six was fantastic for not just its heroes (see Janelle and Kaysar above), but also its villains, most notably Ivette and Cappy. Ivette was emotional and brash, Cappy was cocky and overbearing. They were the worst. Luckily, Cappy was ousted early on, but Ivette made it to the final two. In the wake of that season, it turns out that Ivette isn’t such a bad person, and in a weird way, I do miss her crazy antics. Cappy, however, is still pretty miserable. I don’t think I’d be able to deal with him back on screen. Come to think of it though, an even worse duo from The Friendship would be self-pitying April and her teammate Jennifer, who famously screwed over Kaysar. Blech. The only reason I’d be happy to see any of these people back would be purely for nostalgia.
Odds anyone from The Friendship will be back: 12-to-1
Would we be happy to see them? Not really.

Adam and Matty, Season 9

Here’s a novel idea: take season nine’s two drug kingpins — Adam and Matty — and put them back in the house. It’s probably worse than the lockup they’re in now (although, less butt-rapey). Would I want to see them again? Not really. But it’s a little funny to entertain the thought.
Odds they’ll be back in the house: infinity-to-1
Would we be happy to see them? no.

Dan and Memphis, Season 10

Dan and Memphis formed an alliance called The Renegades that eventually took them to the winner’s circle. They weren’t the most dynamic duo of all time, but they got the job done and were likable enough. Well, at least Dan was. He was crafty and fun, even if he did shout in the confessional all the time. Memphis was pretty forgettable. I wouldn’t mind seeing them back in the mix again, but part of me feels like they’re best days are behind them.
Odds they’ll be back in the house: 5-to-1
Would we be happy to see them? I think so.

Renny and Keesha, Season 10

Also stemming from season ten were Renny and Keesha, who enjoyed a mother-daughter dynamic (until Keesha stabbed Renny in the back). I’d love to see the two crazy ladies return just for the fireworks, but it probably won’t happen since Renny still carries a grudge about how everything went down.
Odds they’ll be back in the house: 9-to-1
Would we be happy to see them? Yes.

April and Ollie, Season 10

April and Ollie were hardly a dynamic duo, and if anything, they were more like one singular entity attached at the groin, but who knows — the producers might want to bring back her big boobs and his fear of birds. I don’t think they’d make great TV a second time around, but April is pretty crazy; so that could be fun.
Odds they’ll be back in the house: 17-to-1
Would we be happy to see them? Nah

Alison and Jun, Season 4

Many people think that Alison and Jun from season four constitute the worst finalists in the history of the show (or at least a close second to Ivette and Maggie). I can see CBS diabolically inserting these catty women back into the mix, but only if all other options were a no-go.
Odds they’ll be back in the house: 20-to-1
Would we be happy to see them? Maybe, depending on how masochistic we’re feeling

Marcellas and Amy, Season 3

Back in the day, Marcellas and Amy comprised one of the greatest, most emotional, and utterly hilarious alliances on TV. Their unlikely friendship allowed them to go from underdogs to contenders back on season three. Everything ultimately fell apart for them though. If CBS really wanted to go old school, they’d bring back this duo without hesitation.
Odds they’ll be back in the house: 17-to-1
Would we be happy to see them? Yes!

Cowboy and Nakomis, Season 5

It’s been a few years since CBS reunited long lost brother and sister Michael (a.k.a. Cowboy) and Jennifer (a.k.a. Nakomis). I think it’s time to see how the family is doing. Do they hang out? Do they love each other? And do they want to fight for half a million dollars again? I know I’d like to know. On the downside, they could be really boring.
Odds they’ll be back in the house: 10-to-1
Would we be happy to see them? Maybe at first, but not long haul.

Danielle and Jason, Season 3

People forget about Danielle and Jason were once a very powerful duo. Back on season three, the two maintained a vicious, secret alliance that would have seen Danielle reach the big prize if only the jury hadn’t been allowed to watch all the mean things she’d been saying the diary room. Oops. They deserve a second shot, but chances are they’re not fresh enough in pop culture to command the ratings CBS would want from a returning duo. Alas.
Odds they’ll be back in the house: 20-to-1
Would we be happy to see them? Yes.

Dustin and Joe, Season 8

Dustin and Joe were hardly dynamic, and in fact, they hated each other in season eight, but it would be worth it to have them back because a) the more gayz, the more dramz, and b) I could listen to them squabble about gonorrhea all day long.
Odds they’ll be back in the house: 25-to-1
Would we be happy to see them? Yes.

Crazy James and Chelsia, Season 9

The producers have always loved Crazy James, which boggles me as I always thought he was self-pitying trash. Nevertheless, as one of the more colorful creatures from the past few years, it wouldn’t be out of the realm of possibilities that he’d be back on the show. But who would he be paired with? None other than his showmance Chelsia (she of the asymmetrical bob). This does not excite me.
Odds they’ll be back in the house: 8-to-1
Would we be happy to see them? No

Amber and a big cookie, Season 8

“Dynamic” is not a word I’d use to describe Amber. Perhaps the word “disaster” is more appropriate. Either way, there’s been no stronger alliance than the one between Amber and a cookie. Nothing could get between them, except Amber herself, who would often be found eating her own teammate. The point is this, much like Amber’s shirt after a snack session, she was a total mess, and while she was awful in so many ways, she made for some of the most hilarious breakdowns of all time. Bring her back with a cookie, her dog, or just a sock puppet. I don’t care. I want to see this trainwreck again. Although, there is that whole anti-Semitic thing….
Odds Amber will be back: 100-to-1
Would we be happy to see her? Yes for me, probably no for everyone else because I’m twisted.

Who would you like to see come back?