After several weeks of build-up, Teresa Giudice finally came face to face with her estranged brother Joe on this week’s episode of Real Housewives of New Jersey, and the results were… well… not explosive, but… emotional? It was actually a rather intense discussion, with both sides airing out grievances. They went tit for tat, with each one blaming the other’s spouses for their problems. Joe busted Teresa on some issues, Teresa busted Joe on some others, and in the end, the two decided that they had to somehow move past this roadblock, lest their father die with his kids still feuding. It was actually a truly moving moment Teresa choked up talking about the tolls this was taking on “Daddy” while Joe stood there stone-faced, presumably keeping his emotions in check (we could see his eyes glassing over. Cryer! CRYER!). Ultimately, Joe ordered Teresa to talk it out with Melissa next, and pending the outcome of that, they could then reassess the future of their relationship. And so a new plan was hatched…
The goal was simple: Teresa just had to call Melissa and invite her to talk. However, it took a full episode to see the mere logistics of this play out. In the meantime, we were saddled with a relatively boring subplot featuring Caroline’s first broadcast on Jersey radio. She had some stutters and stumbles at first, but then she got into the thick of it, answering nearly everyone person’s questions from the greater Trenton region. Meanwhile, we were treated to awkward footage of Kathy sitting by a radio listening away — as if we were to believe this were actually happening and not just a pickup shot the producers called for months later.
Anyway, for such a minor story, Caroline’s radio adventures sure received plenty of air time. In fact, too much. I love Caroline, and her advice does seem sound, but oy vey can we get to the fighting already?
As for Kathy, when she wasn’t fake listening to the radio, she was… um… I don’t remember? She went to dinner with the Gorgas and her accountants, and I believe it was she (not Melissa) who remarked about her hostess’s lack of cooking abilities, but aside from that I truly remember very little of Kathy’s role this episode. That’s okay. Even her sitting and listening to her little boombox made me smile.
Eventually, the action returned to Teresa, who sat down in Jacqueline’s study (?) with Melissa at the end of the episode and began to hash it out. Things were tense right from the getgo, and, er, I also don’t remember anything they said. Okay, I watched this show at 11 PM on Sunday after a full weekend of drinking at my ten year college reunion. I retained nothing.
FILL IN THE GAPS FOR ME, PEOPLE. Tell me your favorite parts (or the moments that riled you up) in the comments section. And in the meantime, here are pics:
“Hey, put this on. I ordered it from Magician Couture.”
“Good luck with your bitch sister. And don’t tell Kathy I’m wearing an Avatar costume.”
Teresa: “I’ll have something with not a lot of ingredientses. Like, none of that cummmin? Is that what it’s called?”
Joe: “I don’t care what you serve me. I’m already shitfaced.”
Teresa: “Listen, at the end of the day, let’s not forget that it was YOU who accidentally DVR’d The Little Mermaid and not The Sopranos series finale.”
“AOOWWWW!! It was an ACCIDENT! That Ariel can sing though, huh? Sounds like my Melissa.”
“Oh my gawd! I just puked up three bottles of Boones on the Jersey Shore!”
“You laugh at my hair now, but I can make a CANNOLI MADE OF CANNOLI.”
“I just wanna know how a vacuum cleaner works. I mean, it just sucks? How’s it do that? How’s it do that, JOE?”
“I hope everyone likes my homemade Na’vi shirt. It represents a peaceful tribe. Also, it’s made from cannoli.”
Teresa: “Melissa, I want you to come over so we can clear the air and talk about what you’ve done to ruin our family.”
“I’m camouflaged in your home!”
“Caroline! I didn’t know you’d be here! Do you like my vulture costume?”
Melissa: “Hi!!! Here’s a bottle of wine for you. Now, where is the bitch?”
“Oh. Well, this is awkward.”
Melissa: “For the LAST TIME, Teresa, I don’t KNOW how washing machines work!”
What did you think about the Gorga summits?