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The Los Angeles branch (pun INTENDED) of Fig & Olive restaurant opened last night, and I was lucky enough to be invited to the swanky event. The bash featured a full-on red carpet, which I walked with my cohort, and I’m happy to report that absolutely none of the three paparazzi who were standing there bored paused to snap a photo of us. Apparently they didn’t realize that I am the STAAAAR of Housewives Hoedown, the video podcast that has taken the Internet by STORM!!!

Anyway, Sly and I eventually found our way inside the massive restaurant where we ran into friends (such as the inimitable Katherine Spiers) as well as a smattering of reality stars. Above, I found Vienna from The Bachelor, who was just about as sweet and friendly as can be. I actually wanted to be her friend. Points against her: she’s not familiar with Ina Garten’s oeuvre. But that’s okay. I can teach her.

Nevertheless, Vienna revealed that she loves to cook and does so nearly every night. I’m sensing a starry Adventure in Domesticity on the horizon (Vienna, CALL ME).

After the jump, a super unexpected reality star…As lovely as it was to chat it up with Vienna, I was even more thrilled to spend a good half an hour with the one and only…

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Renny!

Yes, Renny from Big Brother 10 popped up, and of course I had to tell her that there’s a video of us dancing together on YouTube (not my finest moment). Anyway, Renny came and sat with Sly, who used to live directly across the hall from Evil Dick, and we all traded stories. Renny informed us that recently she had been selected to be the Grand Marshall of Mardi Gras, and Evil Dick tried to climb on her float, which is a big no-no in the Big Easy. And thus we all concluded that the guy is a jerk (shocker).

There may have been other reality stars present, but after a while, it became imperative that we focus less on finding me a photo op and more on nabbing an hors d’oeuvre or two. This was harder than it sounds as the kitchen seemed to be “in the weeds” for at least the first hour and a half of the event. Finally, after having guzzled plenty of Moët and a healthy number of crostini, we departed.

Fun times had by all, and perhaps a repeat is in store on Friday. All entertaining photos shall be passed along to you, the readers. Aren’t I so benevolent?

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